November 16, 2007

Who the hell do I think am I?

Nobody special, that is for damned sure.

Listen, folks. When I whined about whiners, I meant the folks who grouse about the stuff that is a result of choices.....decisions. Specifically, choices and decisions that are made over and over and over again. For years.

I most certainly did not mean folks that complain about having a juicy cold, a lousy neighbor, a nasty boss, a cranky kid or simply a bad day (Damn you, Daniel Powter). I did not mean the folks who have lost a loved one. I did not mean the gals who are pregnant and in the throes of the discomforts that usually accompany most pregnancies. And truly, if your kid as lice? Whine away. Or write a haiku for our commiseration pleasure. Even better.

No, no..... I meant folks like the person I was in my 20s. The one who made irresponsible financial decisions and wondered why she was broke all the damned time. The one who dated emotionally unavailable guys yet wondered why she was still single. The one who griped, moaned and complained, yet never did anything to better her situation.

Um. Except that I did do something. I eventually took a job that sucked my soul and social life with it. To get that job, I even LIED to the recruiter about my then current salary and then said I had another offer on my plate for 5k more. My palms were sweating during that phone call, but I ended up with the new gig that paid nearly 20k more. 20k that I deserved because I had been underpaid for years. But, like I said - at that job, I had no social life and furthermore, my boss was a backstabbing ass. However, I was so very desperate to get out of my financial situation and it was worth it. I paid off some debt and even was able to buy a house. At the same time, I had begun dating a really, really nice guy. ME! A nice! guy! Who knew?? Because for once, I had given The Nice Guy a chance (the guy's name was X, by the way. In case you were waiting in suspense) And finally.....around that same time, I tried really hard to let go of Old Grievances and I attempted to just forgive, forget and move on. Forgiving is a bit healing to wounds, quite frankly. It is still hard. A tough pill to swallow, but one that digests eventually.

Because of all those things I did, I am a happier person. Unfortunately, when one makes positive changes in her life, it can leave one a bit smug as to her circumstances. Apparently, I should work on that.

I promise I will try harder, folks.

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