November 11, 2006

Great Balls of Fire, what is WRONG with me?

I have prematurely aged myself.

In the car last night, X and I were discussing something and I mentioned that I was 36 and half years old. He was all "No, you're not!" and I was all "Yes, I am!" until he pointed out that I was born in 1971, which would indeed mean I am not 36.

Instead, it appears I am 35.

What the HELL is wrong with me, Internet? Why would I do that to myself? I have been telling people I am 36. Even my doctor. I expressed concern to my doctor that I would be 37 when New Kid is born. GOOD GOD. Just the other day, a friend expressed surprise when I said I was 36 because she said I seemed younger. Perhaps, because I am younger?

On the one hand, it's not a picnic growing older, but I steadfastly maintain that I want to grow older. A Dirt Nap Alternative isn't nearly as appealing as getting wrinkles and saggy boobs. I draw the line at my ass, though. No droopy butt, please.

While I am getting all geezerly-like on you, I have to say that I am having a greater appreciation for what the Stars go through in Hollywood since having gotten HDTV. It's crazy what Hollywood has been hiding from us all these years via softfocus and perfected stage makeup. HDTV must be making some stars rend their Juicy Couture because it's amazing how many YOUNG stars have wrinkles and lines when viewed via HDTV (Ali Larter from Heroes comes to mind). Most interestingly, many, many young GUYS are already getting crinkled and HDTV is NOT their Best Bud even now. Perhaps, because women tend to be more conscious of sun exposure? Anyway, it doesn't really bother me and actually, it is one of the reasons why I enjoy the show Brothers and Sisters so much. It freely shows Sally Field, Ron Rifkin, and Patricia Wettig in all their Craggedly Glory. It lends a more realistic touch. The show is borderline cheese week after week after week, but Field, Rifkin and Wettig manage to keep it real. I would argue that seeing Vanessa Williams' endless web of lines on the show Ugly Betty helps her Wilhelmina character from becoming too comical. While Wilhelmina is eVIL, you can't help but have a teeny bit of sympathy because you know and most importanly, SHE knows those lines bother her to no end.

I wonder if HDTV is going to heighten the fervor for plastic surgery even further? I'd like to hope that HDTV will allow the viewing public AND Hollywood to become more accepting of REAL facial features, but I am not optimistic.


Anonymous said...

I decided I was actually 30 last year when I turned 29. It happens.

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

They're also a lot thinner in person.

I think eventually they'll invent new makeup for HDTV. I've read a lot of the problems are that the makeup that works on covering up stuff on regular tv doesn't do the trick on HD.

But the biggest problem is that they age prematurely because they all smoke to stay thin, not to mention the partying. Once you lose that last layer of subcutaneous fat your face will get hit the hardest. It's not exactly rocket science.

meno said...

i guess i'm going to have to get HDTV, i want to see all the gory details too.

Anonymous said...

I always make myself older. For a while there, I thought I was turning 23, when I was actually just turning 22. Why do we do that? Bizarre!

(I've also been under the impression that my brother was in his 20's, when he's really a 19 year old baby. Crazy!)

I am secretly evil, and enjoy seeing celebrities without makeup. All those stylists could even make ME look nice.

claudemarie said...

Hahaha~as a socially stunted 16 year old, I used my sister's March 4, 1971 birthdate as MY birthday so I could buy smokes. BAD hehehe but I have since quit when I got pregnant 4 years later.

And as for Ms.Spears, good luck. And Mr.Fed-Ex.....fall on your face you irritating thing.

Rozanne said...

That is really bizarre that you'd actually forget your age. Wow.

Craggedly Glory! Great term, although I hope I need never apply it to myself.

I'm pretty religious about using broad spectrum sunscreen on my face 365 days a year that is the one and only way to prevent wrinkles. I hope I didn't too much damage in my teen years when I tried so hard (and so fruitlessly and cluelessly) to get a tan.

Photobug said...

LOL 2 in one week!?! Another friend of mine had her age wrong. She seriously thought she was 32 when in fact she is 33. The realization hit her at the Dr.'s office when she said she was 32 and the receptionist - who's birthday is 1 day after hers, 1973 said, no we're 33. LOL I can't believe it.

Diana said...

That is terribly funny, isn't it? Rather a nice present, getting to take a year off your age.

I'm also amazed by all the protruding moles and bumps and such on the faces of many of the actors, especially men. (Of course I can't think of an example. I never can.) I'm guessing there will also be a rush in minor cosmetic mole-removal surgery.

Do you think anyone famous would want to pay for some of my sub-cutaneous fat to plump up their wrinkly faces?

Anonymous said...

I've been shaving a year off my age every so often. I seem to forget that I actually did turn 26 and am not still 25. I would be nice to think the other way around so that you could always get the good surprise;> I'm also looking forward to living to a wrinkly age...I want to see and enjoy grandkids!!

As for celebrity flaws, a co-worker sent me this link last Friday where you can see some photoshop jobs. It amazes me how much importance is placed on the perfection when it would be so much better for us all to see real people.

Melissa said...

I get the age thing. I haven't known my true age (33, I think) without stopping to do the math for years.

Anonymous said...

You remember the other day when you were all, "I'm 36! I'm almost 37!" And I was all, "The fuck you are!"

Well, I was right.

hee hee