January 28, 2005

Mutter Much?

Fitness Center Observations: I have been enjoying the great spectator sport of watching New Year’s Nitwits who have no business lifting weights try to do exactly just that. It horrifies me to see people throwing their bodies to and fro in the obvious attempt to lift as much weight as possible, not realizing the ramifications of inertia and centripetal force. Dude, you’re about 50 lbs. past high school. No one is impressed. I would laugh at this if I wasn’t so occupied just trying to get on a machine. There are inconsiderate persons out there who think it is acceptable to place a towel on 2 different machines so they can go back and forth between them. And what happens when 2-3 people are doing this? You do the math. The Towel Save is not cool, people.

BBC Affliction: I think I may be watching too much BBC. I was typing an email to a friend and referred to my nephew as a “little bugger”. The minute it came out of my fingers, I hesitated, then cringed (Note for non-Anglophiles – bugger is the Brit equivalent of the F-word). Talk about a conflict of emotion. I did erase and change the word – all the while knowing I am a FREAK.

New Party Trick: My latest hobby (obsession) is I recently discovered that on each dollar bill, there is a code that tells you which of the 12 Federal Reserves released it into the wild. Now, whenever I receive change back, I CAN’T STOP myself from looking at the damn thing and figuring out which Fed released it. I am sure there are cashiers all over the metro gnashing their teeth at the girl* who painstakingly “counted” her change.

The Big Burper Update: Unfortunately, snorting has been added to her repertoire. And she does this when she is cracking HERSELF up. I wish I could record it and share my misery with the world. I’m telling you, she is shameless!

Strange Cat Behavior: While I can’t compete with Rozanne’s recent kitty story , my own cat, H., has been doing something lately that is pretty funny. When I get home and am unloading the car, I have to be careful that he hasn’t jumped in the car while I wasn’t looking. It seems, he likes to hop in there now and hang out. Granted, we did go through a period last fall where he was riding in it 2-3 times a week. (full story, if you care, are in some of the archived posts here ) However, you would think that he had gotten burned out on the whole experience. Oh well, at least he hasn’t hitchhiked back to the old house again. Then again, maybe that’s what he’s waiting for - a free ride.

Wallpaper Guilt: I have mentioned that I knew the previous owners (POs) of the New House before we bought the house. In fact, I have known them for quite a long time as I have worked off and on for the husband over the past 9+ years. I have also mentioned that I have been removing an extensive amount of wallpaper that was included as a “bonus” with the house (the POs made a point of telling us how much they spent on the interior decorator). This stuff was bright, flowery wallpaper. Loads and loads of flowers**. Well, my friends, these 2 worlds are about to collide. The POs are coming this weekend to pick some things up from the house (their new house isn’t done yet and we let them store some things in the meantime). There is no way they can avoid seeing the kitchen – which has the unique distinction of being both the worst of the Wallpaper Offenses in the house AND the brightest of the color changes we initiated (Dahlia Orangish-Yellow). It’s one thing to redecorate; it’s another to completely rip out someone else’s hard work, thus saying “Your taste was crep.”

Even the Best of Vacations Can Wear Thin: Much like my sister got sick and tired of living in Hawaii, I am sick and tired of X being gone. I want someone besides the cats pestering me for food and attention. I am tired of snore-free nights. Come home, X!

*Yes, I still refer to myself as a "girl". I am a patron, not a matron. Get over it.
**I do not, nor have I ever discriminated against flowers. Rancid Raves’ le Manse maintains an open-door policy to flowers of all kinds. Just not on our wallpaper, please.

3 comments:

Rozanne said...

Towel Savers: They should be executed. By a firing squad. At dawn. Their similarly inconsiderate cousins, the Jacket Leavers (the people who leaved bunched up coats in jackets on the movie seat next to them just to keep other people from sitting next to them) should also be executed.

I think a suitable and still Anglophilic substitute for "little bugger" would be "little nipper."

Perhaps I shouldn't tell you this, but I have heard something about a Web site where you can type in the serial number (or something) on a dollar and find out where all it's been before it got into your hands. Can you imagine people doing that?

Cagey said...

re: the dollar bills - the site you referred to is called www.wheresgeorge.com The thing I am doing is much simpler - if there is a letter A on the bill, that means it was released from Boston. B? New York C? Philadelphia - and so forth. I will get over it eventually. I hope.

Anonymous said...

I had a bad day (the little angel's ear infection inspired a 103 degree fever, calling me home from work at noon). This was the funniest post I've seen in a while. hee hee