February 27, 2012
Freestyle: Technology
Freestyle is a feature where I ramble aimlessly, abandon all pretenses to story arcs or structures and ultimately, attempt to achieve no point whatsoever.  Enjoy! 

I am 40 years old.  To spry youngsters in their 20s, this means I am bordering on Ancient.  It also means that at times, I am subjected to haughty, snooty comments from firm-skinned youngsters such as "I've been on the Internet half my life!" with the clear indication that since I am Elderly With a Smidgeon of Doddering,  I must have only recently figured out how to get my AOL account up and running in order to receive pictures of my grandchildren and forward email chain letters en masse.

However, this old coot begs to differ.

Growing up in the early 80s, we pretty much always had a computer in our house since my mom "worked in computers".  In fact, our first computer HAD NO HARD DRIVE and everything had to be run directly off a 5x5 floppy. For all of my fellow wrinkled Cocoon-Worthy Extras, remember Eliza, that saucy little minx who could READ YOUR MIND??

I remember my first electronic message ever.  It was actually pre-Internet (for me). I was at the computer center on campus at KU with the Then Boyfriend.  The year was 1991.  Then Boyfriend let me use his VAX account to send a message to my Then Roommate (*Waves Furiously at Mindy Who Reads My Blog*), who was also Super Fancy with her engineering classes and VAX account.  21 years later and I still remember that incredible moment that I had sent a message CLEAR ACROSS CAMPUS.  It was like goddamned magic or something.

Then, during a flash of inspiration, I spliced two paperclips together and invented the goddamned Internet.  Why limit ourselves to the University of Kansas campus, right?  Indeed.

Later, in 1994, I only had two phone jacks in my apartment and since I could not afford to pay the phone company to install another jack, I jury-rigged like 1000 feet worth of phone cords procured at Wal-Mart and snaked it along baseboard (Ah, those were the days, shredding your fingers on baseboard nails!  Are you with me, Gentle Reader?  THOSE WERE THE DAYS.) 

Anyway! I remember specifically in 1995, using my Pinemail Unix account to send email.  To another country.  Also, I lurked in Usenet groups, but rarely commented.  At that time, Usenet was a hotbed of flamewars and the wrong word could send people hunting you until the end of time.  Or so it seemed.  Facebook?  Is nothing in the shadow of a good old-fashioned Usenet Flamewar.   I loved Archie and Veronica and their entire posse of incredibly cool friends because in those days, it was mostly just universities on the Internet and holy crap, data security?  WAS FOR SUCKERS.  And Republicans!  I felt like a goddamned Nancy Drew or Trixie Belden surfing through all of those servers.  Since I didn't really know what I was doing, I just enjoyed poking around, I was certainly not a hacker.  The sheer act of snooping was more than enough to keep me happy.  Ah, yes..... for a Busybody in the early 1990s, those were the halcyon days of unfettered Peeping and Poking.  Bliss!

Oh and the Internet back then did not have pictures.  And when Mosaic finally came around to give us some pictures it was so s....l.....o.......w.

One of my favorite Technology Memories was scoring a data security internship in 1995 solely because I was the only applicant who knew how to use FTP.  That summer internship re-routed the entire course of my career and also led me to one of my longest running friendships, second only to the Aforementioned Mindy (*Waves Furiously At Caroline Who Hopefully is Reading This Post*)

Ah, yes.... knowing FTP in 1995 is probably one of the most significant moments in my entire life.  Period. Caroline notwithstanding.

Now, of course, technology permeates my life and I still welcome it.  Laptops litter our dining room table, two Kindles roam around between family members, gaming devices keep us entertained, smartphones keep us updated, the DVR ensures we are no longer tethered to a TV schedule and now, we have a constant stream of shows available via Netflix.  And yes, our kids know how to use these devices. And I am okay with that.

I am still amazed with and in awe of technology and I hope I never lose that moment of "Whoa" such as that first time I sent an email message via a VAX account to my friend Mindy across campus.

What's your favorite Technology Memory?  What was your first moment of "Whoa"?


This was my first smartphone, a Samsung SPH-i330, which I received in 2002.  A friend of mine at the time worked in product development at Sprint.  She would give me phones prior to their release and I would send her reports on my user experience.  Man, I LOVED this phone.  The browsing was incredibly slow, but it was a fun party trick to bring up websites since few phones at the time supported web browsing.  10 years later and here I am, doing a healthy percentage of my web browsing via my current smartphone.  Astounding.

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February 24, 2012
Fridays of Intestinal Fortitude:
Perhaps, WE are the picky ones.
Note: Fridays of Intestinal Fortitude is a weekly(ish) feature about food, food and more FOOD. No, I am not an expert, but I do enjoy talking about food prep, cooking food, eating food and making sweet love to food.

Okay, maybe not the "sweet love" part. After all, this is not meant to be an homage to 9 1/2 Weeks.
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First, let me get this out of the way -- my kids love, love the 4 Food Groups of Ye Olde Typical White Kid ....... Nuggets, Cheeseburgers, PB&J, and Mac n' Cheese. And no, I did not include pizza because there is NO SHAME IN PIZZA, dammit. And yes, we do enjoy some fast food because I strongly believe fast food has an appropriate time and place in our lives (but that is a post for another Friday, yes?) So, lest you think this is the post where I brag about my kids begging for foie gras with a raspberry compote let me assure you that they will never sniff their noses at a chicken McNugget.  Although, admittedly, I do hold out hope that someday they will beg for foie gras with a raspberry compote because obese goose liver is The Yummy.

So!  Moving on!
When I talk about Team Chaos and their eating habits, I have referred to Arun as "our picky eater". However, I have decided to no longer use that phrase because it is simply not fair. Arun is not a picky eater, he just eats a bit differently than Manoj, Anjali and I.

What does Arun like?  Fish, in all forms -- fried, baked, filleted, whatever.  He loves sashimi -- octopus, salmon and eel are his favorite.  He also loves gyros meat, steak (medium-well, thankyouverymuch), lobster, shrimp and crab.  Lately, he's been begging for crawfish.  He also eats a variety of veggies and fruits.

What he does not like, however, is ethnic food (unless it is a Taiwanese style dumpling, Italian pasta, Tex-Mex taco or Indian paratha.)  As you can imagine, this refusal of ethnic food includes just about anything and everything I cook.  And this is where it is difficult to not compare my kids since nearly every recipe I have posted here is Anjali Approved.  That girl will eat just about anything I cook and her spice tolerance is quite impressive (the other day, I made karahi chicken and threw in 2 teaspoons of cayenne pepper because I was feeling the need for some mouth blisters.  Anju groused it was too hot and then, KEPT ON EATING, ZOMG.) Also, I am composing this post in between bites of a bean burrito smothered in Cholula.  I am hoping to get half of this burrito into my mouth parts before Anjali steals the rest from me.

While Arun prefers plainer foods, Anjali prefer foods rich in taste.  Even as a toddler, she would waddle over to Manoj so that he could hand-feed her (it is a very common for Indian to hand-feed their children).  That girl has a ridiculous sense of smell and taste.  Just yesterday, I posted on Facebook:
OMG. all day long Anjali has been insisting that we get Manoj coffeecake for his birthday today. "Coffeecake, Mama. COFFEECAKE." Turns out, she meant tiramasu. 

Good thing I didn't listen to her and actually bought tiramasu.
Of course she meant tiramasu, a cake soaked in espresso.  Stupid, stupid Mama.

The thing about food and our kids is that we really did not do much differently between the two of them.  Until the age of 2, Arun ate curry and this is why, to us, he seems picky.  

For me, I have decided to live by the following two tenets:

Tenet #1  Kids Are People, Too
As an adult, I do not eat things that I do not like.  Period.  I hate ketchup.  I hate Jello.  I hate okra. I hate green beans cooked White People Style.  As an adult, I do not eat these things. Ever.  When I catch myself trying to force foods on my kids, I think back to when I was kid and I was pushed to eat green beans.  Why should I force my kids to eat things they do not like?  Furthermore, I firmly believe the Empty Plate Theory is unhealthy and encourages mindless, purposeless eating habits.  I also do not constantly push my kids to try new things.  Every chance I get, I encourage them to try new things, but I keep the pushing to minimum.  Yes, I do push occasionally.  For example, I made tilapia the other night and used a Creole rub on it.  I made Arun's piece without the rub, but I did push him to take a few bites of my piece because I actually thought it was something that he would like.  And he did!  Will he ask for his fish with a spice rub from now on?  Not necessarily, but I was happy that he at least ventured out a bit.

Tenet #2 The Tastebuds of Children Change
I have seen directly and specifically how my kids tastebuds have changed over the years (i.e. Arun eating curry at a young age)  Even recently, Anjali has begun rejecting one of her favorite drinks.  The way she phrased it was "Mama, I don't like Ovaltine and milk anymore.  My tastebuds do all the tasting and they changed.  They CHANGED, Mama."  I see so much pressure for parents to expose their kids (even babies!) to loads of different tastes and the implication is that if a child is not exposed to a variety of tastes now, now, NOW! they will be ruined forever. FOREVER!  And....well....  I just think that is a load of complete crap.  If that were the case, someone like me would have never grown up to love things like curry and sushi -- foods that I had never experienced until I was in my 20s.  

Yes, I do encourage my kids to try new foods, but I don't push it.  Tasting new foods should be fun.


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The next time I find myself frustrated with Arun's Plain Jane Tastebuds, I am going to remember the quail eggs.  A few weekends ago, we went to a huge Asian superstore and in the produce section, Arun spied some quail eggs.  I had NO idea what to do with quail eggs and the thought of them made me queasy for some reason.  Arun kept pestering and we gave in. 


It turns out, quail eggs are pretty tasty -- much like a chicken egg, but just a bit better.


And a lot smaller.





Will he ever like Indian food besides parathas??  Maybe not.  But as long as he continues to try new foods and simply have fun with it, I will be okay with that.

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February 23, 2012
I Am Here
When I take blogging breaks, I never quite know how to start up again.  I thought this image might be telling, because this is mostly where I have been lately:
I use the bottom journal for jotting down the little things that Team Chaos says and does.  The papers stuffed inside the journal are print-outs of Twitter and Facebook statuses.  Not only am I anal retentive (with a dash of OCD), it has always bothered me that Twitter and Facebook are essentially the ephemera of social media memories.  While it is probable that this blog will exist for long enough that my kids can read it, other social media outlets are not so stable.  Twitter does not keep your stream for very long and Facebook is still not really an acceptable medium for memory keeping.  The top journal is the one I jot things in that have made me smile or have made me happy for the day.  I certainly do not do much deep thinking in either journal, but it makes me happy to pick up a pen and write in them.  I keep them on the table beside my chair and really, it is quite easy to keep up the habit.

Sadly, that is your exciting conclusion to the Case of the Missing Blogger.  I apologize for your disappointment.

So!  Moving on!  Where else have I been?

First, along with the rest of the Free World, I was sucked faster than a Dementor's Kiss into the world of Downton Abbey.  What is Downton Abbey, you say?  It's a show which features an aristocratic British family, just as the world is about to dig its heels into World I.  The mystery and intrigue in this show not only involves the family itself but even better, the staff of servants.  Most of the action is reflected upon through both sets of viewpoints.  As I wrote on Facebook:
 "The Real Housewives of Downton Abbey: Less alcohol, equal amounts of bling, more frownlines and all the servants speak fluent English. However, the only tables overturned are metaphorical."
What I have really enjoyed from this series is not only the sumptuous settings and fashions, but also the historical aspect.  I love watching folks' reactions to such glorious inventions as electricity, motor vehicles and the telephone.  And during all of the kitchen scenes, I am constantly distracted because I enjoy figuring out how Mrs. Patton gets all those gourmet meals to the table with nary a Cuisinart in sight.

If you are already a Downton Abbey Junkie, I highly recommend watching Gosford Park (the movie).  When I first started DA, I kept thinking how it reminded me of Gosford Park, then I found out they were written and created by Julian Fellowes.  Huh.  Also, if you are a fan of Brendan Coyle (aka Mr. Bates), you might be interested in the mini-series North and South -- Coyle played a key character in that series and I have been a fan of his ever since.

Oops.  I did not mean for this to turn into a Downton Abbey post, but that has been the bulk of my entertainment for the past two weeks.  Couple that with the fact that I just finished the George RR Martin's "Game of Thrones: Song of Fire and Ice" AND the fact that I just began Jane Austen's "Emma" and I am fearing for my use of the English language.  If I am not careful, I am at risk for starting to sound like Madonna during her Guy Ritchie Era.  YIKES.  And an ersatz English accent does not flatter anyone, much less the British.  *shudder*

Anyway -- besides voraciously feeding my Anglophilia, I have been trying to suck as much precious time with my kiddos as possible.  I cannot lie, the past 8 months have been filled with cancer-related deaths and a new one is looming.   Cancer worms your way into your psyche after awhile.  I try not to indulge my inner melodrama much here, but.....  damn.

I realize that, logically speaking, life is fragile.  I know this.  I am simply tired of being reminded.

And there are some days when I cannot hug my kids enough.


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February 7, 2012
Mantra
Susan (aka WhyMommy of ToddlerPlanet), passed away yesterday after a long battle with cancer. In lieu of flowers, the family asks for our consideration in donating to the Inflammatory Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

There is so very much that can be said about Susan and the way that she chose to conduct herself as life threw curve ball after curve ball at her. However, I think she says it best herself in this mantra she posted on her About page:
All that survives after our death are publications and people.

So look carefully after the words you write, the thoughts and publications you create, and how you love others. For these are the only things that will remain.
Words to live by. Peace be with you, Susan.


February 3, 2012
Fridays of Intestinal Fortitude:
White Girl Tested, Brown Boy Approved
Note: Fridays of Intestinal Fortitude is a weekly(ish) feature about food, food and more FOOD. No, I am not an expert, but I do enjoy talking about food prep, cooking food, eating food and making sweet love to food.

Okay, maybe not the "sweet love" part. After all, this is not meant to be an homage to 9 1/2 Weeks.

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So, remember that post about my working and potentially using our slow cooker? I received SO many awesome ideas from that post - via email, Facebook and the comments section.  Frankly, I am still sifting through them. We got hung up after a few false starts where we found out in that uniquely soul-crushing way that using the high setting for long periods of time tends to result in Gobi Desert Worthy Chicken. I am surprised tumbleweeds did not come flying out of the damned pot. Now that we have figured out using the low setting is a vastly more palatable of an option, our slow cooking attempts have resulted in some divine dishes lately!

One of those culinary champions was a dish from my friend Andrea of Caucasian Curry.  The best part about getting  a recipe from a fellow Gori In Arms who is also in a Mixed Pickle Marriage, is that generally speaking, the recipes will be a slam-dunk when selling them to Manoj since the dish will have already been deemed Desi Worthy. It's a common misconception that Manoj only prefers spicy food -- actually, he prefers food with strong, complex flavors.  Through careful research, I have managed to find nice substitutes for some of my old favorites.  For example, Manoj will eat this Peruvian Chicken Soup, which features limes, cilantro and hard-boiled eggs.  Certainly, this is not your grandma's chicken soup.  (Unless you are Peruvian, natch.)  But still,  I often struggle when I really want something in the way of comfort food.

Thanks to Andrea and her Slow Cooker Thai Chicken, I have something to turn to now.


Andrea's Slow Cooker Thai Chicken


Ingredients
1 14 oz can light coconut milk
2 heaping tablespoons creamy peanut butter
2 tsp curry powder
2 tbs red chili sauce
1 tsp ground ginger
1 1/2 pounds boneless chicken (I used 2 to 2 1/2 lbs bone-in)
2 red bell peppers, sliced
1 large onion, sliced
3 cloves rough chopped garlic
5 green chilies
1/2 cup rough chopped roasted peanuts
salt/pepper

Optional:
1/2 cup fresh cilantro and lime for garnish


Note: Instead of curry powder and red chili sauce, Andrea uses 1 tablespoon red curry paste (Patak's Hot) Also, Andrea has added things such as carrots to this.  Honestly, I believe this dish might have Kitchen Sink potential and I will certainly be viewing other veggies with a closer eye the next time I make this.  YUM.

Preparation

  1. In a 5- to 6-qt slow cooker, combine the coconut milk, peanut butter, curry paste and ginger.  Mix well (I let the cooker heat up a bit to help melt the peanut butter)
  2. Add the chicken, peppers and onion. Stir thoroughly.
  3. Cook, covered, until chicken is cooked through, on low for 5 to 6 hours or on high for 3 to 4 hours.
  4. Spoon the chicken, vegetables and sauce over the rice or noodles and sprinkle with the cilantro; serve with the lime wedges, if desired.

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February 1, 2012
Literally Literary: My Reading Resolutions for 2012
"Literally Literary" is a feature in which I write about books, reading and more books. Why am I going to such bother? My hope is the post title will provide a subtle hint that I am posting about BOOKS. For those of you where the topic of books results in narcoleptic fits thereby causing you to faceplant onto your keyboard, this will allow you to just click away from the horror that is the written word. Also, I simply adore the word "literally", it is literally my favorite adverb. Bonus points if pronounced with a Rob Lowe/Parks n' Recreation affectation.

Special Note: All posts contain non-affiliate links - I do not have an Amazonian Fancy Pants Affiliate Thingie.
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Reading Resolutions for 2012
  1. Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility
  2. Reread Pride and Prejudice
  3. Reread Gone with the Wind in addition to some critiques (I first read GWTW when I was 11 years old, then I read it several times again through the years. I suspect I will be horrified by the re-read. Sigh. I need to reflect on that which is exactly why I want to reread it)
  4. Wally Lamb's She's Come Undone
  5. Dennis Lehane's A Drink Before the War
  6. Reread Catcher in the Rye (I LOVED this in my late 20s. I'm curious to see if I will still be impressed.)
  7. Scott Turow's Presumed Innocent
  8. Charles Dickens' Great Expectations
  9. Edith Wharton's House of Mirth
  10. At least one Dorothy Parker short story
  11. A graphic novel (suggestions? I've never read one!)
  12. Finish the first two of George R.R. Martin's Game of Thrones series
  13. Reread Atwood's Oryx and Crake, then read the sequel The Year of the Flood
  14. John Irving's The World According to Garp
  15. One Sherlock Holmes story
  16. One Agatha Christie
  17. Jacques Barzun's From Dawn to Decadence: 1500 to the Present: 500 Years of Western Cultural Life
  18. Oscar Wilde's A Portrait of Dorian Gray
  19. Daniel Borstein's The Seekers
  20. Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence
  21. Jenny Lawson's Let's Pretend This Never Happened
I think that is it -- the list includes plenty of space for book club selections and delicious popular fiction that will be released this year, while still giving me definition and focus.

 In the past, I've based my Reading Resolutions on simple numbers (i.e. "Read x number of books this year") and generally,  I fit about 40-50 reads yearly.  However, for 2012, I wanted to pinpoint some specific sorts of reads and put them in a list. Rather than mistily muse "Someday, I am going to read Great Expectations.", I am putting it on a list and I am going to Actually Do It.  This year (at least before the Mayans fulfill their quest for world domination.)  I wandered throughout my house to compile this list -- every selection is something I already own and many have been gathering dust for years (Jacques Barzun, I am looking at you).  Furthermore, I wanted to expose myself to some different manners of writing style, language and story structures.  I tried to pick from a variety of genres.

Currently,  I am  reading Margaret Atwood's Other Worlds: SF and the Human Imagination which is DELICIOUS -- it is much more than just her mental meanderings on speculative fiction and science fiction.  It was a Random Grab at the library, which are always fun, right?  I am also reading John Green's Looking for Alaska (Shout out to Zoot for pointing me to this author -- I LOVED his heartbreaking The Fault in Our Stars)  I am also more than half way through the Game of Thrones: Book 1 --  I do have a tight timeline on that series because the HBO show comes back with Season 2 in April and I have decided I want to read the books from now on before seeing the show (i.e. I saw the Season 1 before reading Book 1.  I think the reading experience will be richer if I reverse that for Season 2/Book 2).  Unfortunately, I am not a speed reader like Average Jane and will need to light a fire under my ass pretty soon to meet my goal.

And yes, I AM open to suggestions and have some space on my reading resolutions list -- anything that you have read lately that is a Must Read for my 2012 Reading Resolutions?  Do you have any recommendations for a graphic novel?

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January 27, 2012
Fridays of Intestinal Fortitude:
Look Who's Coming for Dinner
Note: Fridays of Intestinal Fortitude is a weekly(ish) feature about food, food and more FOOD. No, I do not necessarily want to be a food blogger, but I do LOVE to talk about food prep, cooking food, eating food and making sweet love to food.

Okay, maybe not the "sweet love" part. After all, this is not meant to be an homage to 9 1/2 Weeks.

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I love having people over for dinner -  Manoj stopped complimenting my cooking years ago and the kidlets are not appreciative anyway. Therefore, I like to invite people  over and then force my captive audience to ply me with compliments.  Genius, no?


In particular, I enjoy planning a menu for guests and trying to come up with a menu that is fun and different for my guests to try.  As I mentioned earlier this week, I invited "Emily" and "Victor" over for dinner.  When I invite folks over for the first time, I like to do a general inquiry as to taste, allergies and aversion.  Nothing worse than trying to serve fish to a person who can't stand the sight of it, right?  However, when I asked "Emily" if they had any allergies or food preferences, her reply stumped me a bit:

"Our dietary requirements are kind of strange, so please feel free to say, "WTF?" and tell me that we need to go out instead.  I failed to really consider this when we set things up.  Right now, Victor is a vegetarian that also does not eat chocolate, eggs or cheese.  Oy.  I, on the other hand, am supposed to eat meat or eggs at every meal and typically stay away from rice and pasta at night because they cause my blood sugar to shoot up.  Awesome, right?"
Whoa, Nellie.


Normally, when I cook for Indians, I prefer to make Average Jane's Baked Ziti with Roasted Vegetables.  It is a dish that has a beautiful presentation and it can easily be modified to suit most taste preferences (meat, no-meat, spicy, no spicy, less pasta for low-carb options, etc.).     However, I already knew about "Emily's" low-carb needs and I had started to toy with serving Chicken Marsala. But then, the semi-vegan bit threw that out the window.  What initially gave me pause is that I would need to do TWO main dishes, one vegetarian and one with meat.  And that meant that I was going to have to go with Indian because it is the only cuisine where I have a broad enough skill set to come with such a variety of dishes. It also meant that I was going to have pull out the big guns (er... Santoku knife?) and make a Super Speshul Indian Meal since"Emily" and "Victor" know their Indian food.


Fortunately, Emily's and my fellow Gori In Arms, The Big, Bad, Blonde Bahu, had recently linked to this black-eyed peas recipe which was To Die For. I made it on New Year's Day and as I was cooking it, Anjali and I were constantly stealing bites from it.   So!  There it was... the all-important veggie main dish I needed.  In the end,  for the main dishes,  I went with the black-eyed peas curry with coconut and spinach and a Malayalee-style chicken curry with coconut and cashews.  For the sides, I served a green bean thoren and a spicy tomato dhal along with parathas and basmati rice.


For record, both Emily AND Manoj were like "Um, maybe we should go out?" and I was all "Um, no.  This is FUN!!"


So, thank you, Emily, for that culinary gauntlet.  


I did make a few small modifications to the original recipe.  Also, I prefer my recipes to be simply stated in steps, so I retyped it and thought I should share it here. This is seriously one of the BEST new dishes I have made in a long time and it will definitely become part of our rotation.  Even though it is a vegetarian dish, it is rich with flavor and very satisfying.  Yum.

Black-Eyed Peas With Spinach and Coconut Curry


Ingredients:
2 cans of black-eyed peas,drained rinsed
1 medium onion, finely chopped
5 garlic cloves, finely chopped
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1 large tomato, finely chopped
1 bundle of fresh spinach, finely chopped
1 can of coconut milk
2-3 tbsp oil (vegetable or canola)
freshly chopped cilantro leaves for garnish


Ground Spice Mixture:
1/2 tsp turmeric
1/2 tsp garam masala
1 tsp red chili powder, to taste
2 tsp ground cumin powder
1 tsp ground coriander powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper, to taste


Preparation:
1. In a large pot on medium high heat, add the oil. When hot, add the onions and fry until softened and brown. Then add the garlic and ginger - fry for 1-2 minutes.


2. Add the ground spice mixture and stir for 2-3 minutes until the mixture is fragrant. Add the tomatoes and the black-eyed peas.


3. Stir well and add in the coconut milk. Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat to low. Cover and simmer gently for 20-30 minutes.


4. Add the chopped spinach and mix well.  Simmer for an additional 5-6 minutes.


5. Garnish with freshly the chopped cilantro and serve with rice.

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January 25, 2012
The Case of the Two Kindles
"Literally Literary" is a feature in which I write about books, reading and more books. Why am I going to such bother? My hope is the post title will provide a subtle hint that I am posting about BOOKS. For those of you where the topic of books results in narcoleptic fits thereby causing you to faceplant onto your keyboard, this will allow you to just click away from the horror that is the written word. Also, I simply adore the word "literally", it is literally my favorite adverb. Bonus points if pronounced with a Rob Lowe/Parks n' Recreation affectation.

Special Note: All posts contain non-affiliate links - I do not have an Amazonian Fancy Pants Affiliate Thingie.

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Note: I have several posts lingering in draft mode and I'm working on cleaning them up for publication - this is one of those posts that I wrote about a month ago. I hesitated on this post to include Susan's (aka Whymommy) post in light of the fact that she is not doing well right now.  Then, I realized what better way to honor Susan than to point to a well-written post that had absolutely nothing to with her cancer?  After all, Susan is so much more than the cancer.)

This post was not sponsored.  Also, if you want a well-written review of the Kindle Fire that is spot-on, check out Susan of WhyMommy - she wrote an excellent, informative review of the Kindle Fire!

When the Kindle Fire was released, we jumped on the chance to get one and called it a "family Christmas present".  I have to confess, it was SO much fun Early Adopting a gadget, we have not Early Adopted a gadget in years because these days, our Budget puts us on the Naughty Step if we Early Adopt.  Also, if I were the Guilty Sort, I would feel bad that I have ended up as the primary user of the Fire.  However, I think we have long established that I am not the Guilty Sort, but rather the Greedy, Selfish Sort.  Who downloaded Fruit Ninja for her precious progeny to enjoy because Greedy as she is, she still has a soul.

Admittedly, I primarily use the Fire to surf the web and to play Words with Friends.  While it is nice to have my books on it, I still prefer to read via my regular Kindle (which is apparently now called the Kindle Keyboard, because Amazon just loves to fuck with us.)  The e-ink technology on the Kindle Keyboard is the bomb and I also like that I can organize my books on it.  For some reason, the Kindle Fire does not have any way to organize books via shelves or collections and it drives me insane to sift through every single goddamned book I own to get to something I haven't read.  Ugh.  The other complaint about reading on the Kindle Fire is that it is pretty heavy and you are limited to one side of the device for turning pages.  For example, the Kindle Keyboard has buttons on BOTH sides of the device for turning pages left or right.  When I snuggle in with a book for an hour or so, I found that my hand went numb from holding the Fire in the same position for so long because it simply does not have that same flexibility for turning pages.

Still, I do love the Fire as a mini-luxury.  It is convenient as an "all-in-one" and I will most certainly not be complaining about it the next time I go on a trip. Unless I am traveling for work, I do not travel with a laptop if possible.

My favorite Kindle Fire story is this:
When it arrived, I stood in our kitchen, pulled it out of the packaging and plugged it in to charge -- thinking I would need to wait for awhile before using it.  However, the Fire immediately sprang to life, searched for WiFi and asked for a password.  I entered our WiFi password and boom!  My entire Kindle library was automatically available.  I was using the damned thing instantly.  Just like the commercial.  I still smile remembering that.

I remember when the Kindle was first released and I sniffed haughtily at the thought of reading electronically.  I would never give up my books, I promised myself.  "Paper forever!", I declared. And yet, here I am with not one, but two e-readers.  And I love them.

Sometimes, it is awesome being wrong.

Have you jumped on the e-reader bandwagon?  Do you swear by your iPad?  While I admit it is far more robust than the Kindle Fire, we simply could not justify the extra $300.  I am curious what that extra $300 really buys. 

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January 17, 2012
Nice to meet you!
I love, love social media meetups. Over the years, I have met a fair amount of people via BlogHer, local blogger meetups and Twitter-ish sort of things. Therefore, quite of few of the Imaginary Leprechauns in the Magic Computer Box Thingie have morphed into flesh n' blood folks who have become really good friends. The sort of friends I exchange addresses with, send presents to, add to my Christmas Card list and even invite to my house, deep in the soul-sucking suburbs. The brave new frontier of social media, of course, is Facebook. Last summer, I joined up with a few Facebook groups which I lovingly refer to my "Brown Boys and the White Girls Who Love Them" groups (Note: no one else refers to these groups as such. Just me. Because I established years ago that I have no standards, boundaries or class. Certainly, no class.)

These Facebook groups crack me up because essentially what happens is that we are all so convinced our Desi Boyz Are More Special Than Everyone Else's that all too often threads in particular groups disintegrate into virtual fistfights over Who Is Right on various cultural topics. Which is quite ridiculous because in India/Pakistan/Sri Lanka/Nepal/Bangladesh? Anything CAN and DOES happen. Throw a stereotype against a wall somewhere on the sub-continent of Asia and it will stick. Eventually. Give it time. After all, you are dealing with an incredibly diverse population of people well over a billion strong. Just wait. Trust me, Gentle Reader..... There's a head- bobbing, turban-wearing taxi driver with hopes of owning a Motel 6 out there somewhere in the world. Keep looking, folks. He's there.

Admittedly, I still think my Meat-Eating, Ferragamo Wearing, Malayalee Syrian Christian Indian Boy is pretty darned special and therefore, I WIN THE INTERNET.

Anyway! Through these groups, I came across a gal from Kansas City through one of the aforementioned Facebook groups where we gather and share our hobbies in All Things Brown. Let's call my new friend "Emily", shall we? "Emily" is married to "Victor". So, a month back I invite "Emily" and "Victor" for dinner. "Emily" replies back with an enthusiastic "Yes!" and then proceeds to whip out a long, apologetic list of dietary restrictions that amounted to the equivalent of a culinary guantlet. SO FUN. Challenge gleefully accepted! (Guess what this Friday's Intestinal Fortitude will feature??)

A week before "Emily" and "Victor" are to come for dinner, I come down with a nasty cold. I recover from this cold, but per usual, my sense of smell is all knocked to hell. Everything smells like stale, sour coffee. Which really sucks when you are hoping to cobble together an edible, multi-course Indian meal -- folks, you need your sniffer when you are cooking. I believe the meal came out okay. I think. Manoj said it did and at this point, when I suck at something, Martha Stewart be damned - -Manoj does not hold back.

So, "Emily" and "Victor" show up, the meal is going fine, the four of us have established some basic back stories. The Indian boys are the same religion and had even both lived in the same town back in India for awhile. Ditto for the Gori girls (and we are both Jayhawks! Double bonus!) When the topic turned to employment and included Major Kansas City Employer, we all jumped in on that one.

The evening is merry, everything is bright. Yeah! Success! And then...... I start to feel nauseous. What the hell?? In a few minutes, I go upstairs and commence with Curry Tossing #1. Immediately, I have flashbacks to the Bridesmaids Bug. Have I been struck with some sort of Hostess Curse? Did I anger the Kitchen Gods? I go back downstairs, holding out hope it was the chicken salad I had for a late lunch and not one of the FOUR Indian dishes I had just lovingly prepared and served to two folks from the Internet I had just MET IN PERSON FOR THE FIRST TIME.

During Curry Tossing #2, under the influence of nausea, I convince myself that "Emily" and "Victor" probably watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and are now suspecting that I have a drug problem like Kim Richards.  I need to come clean.  Wait, that sounds wrong.

So, I come down from Curry Tossing #2 and discover my kids climbing all over "Victor" like monkeys and notice they have coerced him into playing Sequence for Kids (What? Don't your children strong-arm visitors into playing boardgames? No? Just mine?) I choose this moment to quietly inquire if anyone else is feeling sick? No? Not even a little? Whew. I assure them that I am not snorting Blue Sky off of the toilet seat (personally, I prefer countertops), but that it appears the chicken salad may be the culprit, after all

Curry Tossing #3? "Emily" and "Victor" stay a bit longer to appease the Miss Manners of the world, then give each other a desperate Look of Retreat, then they make a polite, albeit hasty getaway.

"Emily" claims that all is fine and they weren't offended by my pretend drug habit or my simian children and that Hey! Let's have lunch sometime!  Totally!

In a restaurant.

Of course.

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January 11, 2012
So..... You Think You Want a Turtle/Lizard/Rabbit/Frog/Tarantula/Snake/Parrot
Note: I mention my pet store a lot in this post, but the pet store did N OT sponsor this post -- all the fancy words presented here are simply MY opinions and should be not be treated as "expert advice". I also wanted to note that The Olathe Pet Store is locally owned and does not carry cats or dogs. I frequent The Olathe Pet Store almost weekly and the owner is very experienced and more importantly, responsible and knowledgable in the care of his animals.

In 2008, we got our first tarantula --- Sofia. We mostly got her because Arun was really into tarantulas at the time and a tarantula is a creature that needs a minimum of care. Also, it would seem that we are Those Parents who are total suckers for their child's every whim. Indeed. Oh sure, it did help that we had been visiting Sofia for months at the pet store and we already knew her to be super laidback and not skittish like Pinktoe tarantulas are normally known to be. I did some basic research on tarantula husbandry before getting Sofia and felt confident that I knew what we were in for. There were very few surprises except for the fact that apparently, you can develop real, life-like feelings for a tarantula. Feelings! Who knew?

Since Sofia, I've dived head-first into tarantulas as a hobby (I just purchased my 5th T last week. Oy.) Also, Arun has added geckos to his much-desired pet list. We've had a crested gecko (who died last year) and for his past birthday, Arun begged for a gargoyle gecko. In fact, he was given a choice between a gecko and a DSi and he still chose the gecko - as he put it "I like pets more than video games." Gentle Reader, it is difficult to resist that sort of earnest reasoning from a dewy-eyed 6 year old sporting an adorable mushroom cloud of hair.

World, meet Chloe.

Along the way of dabbling into the tarantula and gecko hobbies, I have considered other exotic pets as well. We are firmly entrenched in the arachnid/reptile camp for the time being, but I thought it would be nice to document some of the thought processes I go through when considering bringing a new animal into our home. Also, I've been asked all sorts of questions when it comes to exotic animal ownership and in the future, I am going to direct folks to this post.

Research
Read everything you can regarding the pet in which you are interested -- Internet, library, asking folks you know who are in the hobby. Also, most of the hobbies have message boards -- cruise a few of those. It will give you an idea of the sort of crowd you are joining, in addition to any hot topics regarding the hobby. (To Handle or Not To Handle Your Tarantula is a HUGE issue amongst the arachnid enthusiasts and the topic usually garners some heated commentary.)

It also helps to get a feel for what you want to look for in a healthy specimen of what you are wanting to buy - go to a pet store or hobbyist gathering to actually SEE the animal. I learned this the hard way -- I had done all the bookwork on crested geckos but realize now that I did not handle nearly enough of them to get a feel for personality (and I had handled mostly adults, not hatchlings.) I ended up buying a crested who was pretty sluggish and at the time, I thought he was laid back. Now, I realize a crested hatchling should do quite a bit more scampering and jumping around than ours did. I now suspect that our crested was probably not in good health when we bought him.

Age and Gender Does Matter
Often, baby critters are cheaper, but that comes at a cost because it is riskier - an adult has a more established history of health and behavior and therefore, is a safe buy.  However, buying a baby is fun because you get to watch your wee one grow.  If you do buy a baby, ask the owner how many feedings the animal has had (my store's owner likes his reptile hatchlings to have at the very least, 3 feedings to get a gauge as to health).  Also, in many animals, there are striking differences in appearances and color variations between the male and females.  Try to get a look at both lads and lasses before making your decision.  And! Even more importantly, there can be differences in life spans between genders -- male tarantulas can be found cheaper quite simply because they do not live as long as females.

Allergies and Other Health Concerns
Allergies aren't just for cats and dogs. Tarantulas are venomous, but are not fatal unless you are allergic to bees. Tarantulas also kick off uricating hairs which are painful and itchy -- they seem to affect Arun even more so since he already deals with some skin allergies. Reptiles, amphibians, turtles, tortoises may carry salmonella and it is extremely important to wash your hands after every interaction. Folks with compromised or lowered immune systems need to carefully consider these concerns.
I had him wear gloves, in case Chloe decided to kick a few hairs. Her biting him? Not statistically likely.

Food Source
What will your pet eat? Is the food source expensive? Is there a pet store convenient to your house for getting the food source? What is the feeding schedule? For example, I would love to have a bearded dragon, but I really don't like crickets. Unless I want to be going to the pet store every other day, I would have to essentially keep a cricket farm in my house. We settled on crested and gargoyle geckos because they are a happy medium -- they will eat the occasional cricket and otherwise live on a rehydrated fruit product called Repashy. Conversely, tarantulas only need a few crickets here and there - about every other week or so. I live very near to the pet store and it is quite easy to just cruise through, pick up some crickets and head back home.

Another example is that Arun really wants a snake, but I could not handle buying the food source -- MICE. Sweet, furry, adorable MICE. When Arun can actually drive himself to the pet store to procure mice, I am perfectly okay with him getting a smaller snake -- for example, a corn snake or a ball python (NO Burmese pythons in my home. EVER.) Until then, there will be no snakes in our house because I cannot buy a pinkie, then throw it into a cage and hear it squeal as it meets its doom. I simply cannot. Come to think of it, as much as I hate squirrels, perhaps I should rereconsider that Burmese python.

Life Span
How long will your pet live? Some pets, such as parrots and giant tortoises, can live past your own lifetime. Are you committed to caring for that pet throughout its life? Do you have a plan for your pet should your pet outlive YOU? If your pet has a shorter life span, are you emotionally okay with letting it go? Last year, I bought a male Pinktoe tarantula. I knew that Daniel's bargain price of $15 meant that his time on Earth was limited -- once a male tarantula is mature, they will die during their next attempt at molting (the process where a tarantula sheds its entire exoskeleton, in addition to mouth parts and sexual organs). Sure enough, last month Daniel attempted to molt and died. I was sad, but since I had made an informed decision when I bought him, I was not shocked when he died.
This is Gordon the Gecko, Jr. I sure as hell hope he lives longer than Gordon the Gecko, Sr.

Source of Knowledge and Supplies
I have been very lucky in that I have always had a good pet store nearby who employed knowledgable and responsible employees. Someone selling you an exotic pet might actually be a bit hesitant to sell you a pet -- my pet store even has a document that must be signed. Don't be offended if the pet store employee asks YOU some questions regarding your purchase. A responsible pet store simply wants to ensure their animals go to a permanent, safe home since buyer's remorse can hurt everyone, including the animal.

Hobby Shows and Conventions
Be very wary of buying an animal from a show or convention if this is your first purchase. I bought our crested at a convention and I do believe that was part of the problem. Looking back, I wasn't as informed on the subject as I should have been and I think I made a mistake on that purchase (for example, I had primarily handled juvenile/adult cresteds when doing my research -- I was not as familiar with hatchlings). Conversely, I have no hesitations on buying a tarantula at a show because I have been in the hobby for several years now and have a much better idea of what I am looking for and which questions to ask.

Expenses
Oh sure, that pet might be on sale or appear to be reasonably priced, but he is going to have needs. Food costs money - crickets are cheap, mice are not. Enclosures and accessories are not free. Substrate and cage liners are another consideration.
Anjali has proven empirically that it is far cheaper to build a tarantula and a cage out of Legos (including a blue web.) As you can see, she is very proud of her creation.

Space
Last year, someone was giving away a really cool red-eared slider turtle. I would have loved to have that animal but the space requirements were beyond what I was willing to commit to since a larger turtle needs both a dry and aquatic environment. Furthermore, turtles live for a long time! (See: Life Span)  Also consider that if you have bought a baby, that baby will grow, which means more space and potentially bigger enclosures. I now own a variety of enclosures for a variety of sized tarantulas.  (And yet, my husband still sleeps with me at night.  \)

Care
Tarantulas are minimalists in the care area. I give water about once a week, mist their cages occasionally and throw in a few crickets here and there. Depending on the state of their enclosures, I only clean them every month or so. Conversely, the fish and the gecko have to be fed every day. The gecko needs his cage misted at least every other day. The fish and the gecko poop considerably more than the tarantulas (Rule #1 of Pets: Everyone Poops!) Some animals need a consistently maintained environment - both temperature and humidity need to be considered. When the pilot light on our furnace went out, our house got really cold until we re-lit it. the next morning I lost sleep that night worrying about the gecko getting too cold and spent the night checking on him and trying to snuggle him (He was not as appreciative as you'd suspect.). From a care and handling perspective, I would be okay with a variety of lizards and even a snake, but I have issues with their eating habits (See: Food Source) A dream of mine is to have a veiled chameleon, but I doubt it will ever happen -- chameleons are such emotionally and physically sensitive creatures and their setups are fairly expensive, pretty high maintenance. I am not sure I could give a chameleon the detailed care and specific environment it needs.

Handling
Do you want a pet that you can actually pet? A gecko or a bearded dragon doesn't mind handling. On the other hand, as mentioned, a chameleon does not do well with excessive handling. Various types of tarantulas don't mind handling, but are YOU okay with handling? Even if your pet is mostly in his cage, at some point that pet needs to be removed from the cage while you clean it. In short, you WILL be handling your pet at some point. Whether you like it or not.  (If not, you can use this handy, dandy guide to trapping your animal.  Works for mice and tarantulas.  Dogs?  Not so much.)
We don't handle our tarantulas a lot, I actually don't think they enjoy it. We do, however, let them roam around once in awhile.  And occasionally play with the Angry Birds.

And now, I shall open the floor to you. Do you have other questions? For those of you also experienced in this area, is there anything that I might have missed?

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