January 12, 2005

Mumble much?

A. If I am jaywalking across an empty street with a green light and someone pulls an illegal u-turn to come back my way – who has the right of way?

B. I realize I have dated a few more than my fair share of foreigners, but should it creep me out that so many of the terrorists in the show “24” look like guys I have dated?

C. Eyelash yarn is a be-yotch, but the results are gorgeous. Will it be like childbirth where I forget the pain and get pulled again into its wispy grasp?

D. I suspect there are critters living in my attic. I hear suspicious chirping or squeaking when I am in my master bathroom. The Non-Bathroom Cat, P., is starting to go crazy in there. The usual Bathroom Cat, V., is equally anxious. Are they birds? How do they get in? Could mice get up there? How the hell do I evict these delinquent tenants?

E. I have a dentist appointment and yet again will have to face my lax flossing policy. It’s not laziness – rather, there is something just WRONG about sticking anything between my teeth. It makes my skin (and gums) crawl. Am I the only one?

F. Do you watch the Amazing Race? Can you even tell the contestants apart? The only ones I can distinguish are Jon/Victoria (Psycho & Snivel), Lori & Bolo (Melons & Meat), and the Devilboy couple (what are their names? Too focused on those damn horns to notice.). I still love the show, but man, what a lackluster season.

G. Is it “Out of sight, out of mind” or is it “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” or is it a little bit of both? Regardless, I miss X.

Update: re: Critters -- My co-worker said that it is most likely mice. Makes sense because birds don't generally rustle around at night. I guess I will be trucking off to buy mousetraps and cheap peanut butter (those vermin aren't getting any of my good all-natural stuff. No way. Hydrogenated oils aren't going to follow them to the Big Cheese Wedge in the Sky anyway). I just wish the damn things would come INTO the house because the cats would take care of them for me. I HATE attics. Too creepy.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your attic critters might be bats. If so, they're protected and you can't just evict them summarily. You might want to call an exterminator or "critter ridder" to have them find out and advise you.

- Jane

Cagey said...

I found out today that squirrels are also protected! I am going to keep my ears peeled tonight. I will definitely be calling in a professional if there are indeed critters up there (I am holding out hope that I was just insane last night). I could handle mice, but not anything much bigger. Yuck.