This morning, as I smoothed my damp locks into my old friend, Hair Band (hey, there was no time to blow-dry, after all -- it was a gym morning), I pondered an episode of Oprah where 4 daughters unleashed upon their mother, the Big O’s team of camera-wielding minions (imagine the tragedy of that for a minute). The Minions completely went through this poor lady’s home, filming her idiosyncrasies and bad habits of keeping razors (for a year), dish sponges (for months), and hamburger meat (for a decade). They even filmed her safety-pinned underwear - the horrors! It left me thinking “what would induce my family to parade me in front of North America like that?" My damn hair band, which has made more than its fair share of fashionable appearances over these past few years? (Did I really just use the plural form of year?? ) Or would it be my foul mouth that rears it ugly head after a minimal amount of alcohol or minor injury (I swear I do love a good curse word.). Or would it be my “I must be right and always correct and never wrong” attitude when it comes to any sort of disagreement or trivial sort of question? (In my defense, I AM usually right. Just ask X or my Canasta group. They know.)
Think long and hard about this, my friends. Banish all bad habits and for goodness sake – upgrade your underwear selection! Oprah’s tentacles travel far and wide – even those of you North of the border ARE NOT SAFE.