June 13, 2006

Hypocrite much?

Hmmm, maybe this will be another week where I depend on my trusty digital camara. It’s another busy one.

The weekend was a good one - much of it was spent with Goofy Girl and her counterparts - Mr. Goofy and Goofy Junior. We had dinner Friday with an Indian couple where the husband works with X and Goofy Girl. Fun was had by all. Then, Saturday was Canasta Night. Rinse, repeat with the fun.

I finally made my plane reservations for BlogHer - I’m flying in a little early WITH MY MOM to go to Carmel. Very cool! We have both done San Francisco before, so Carmel will be something different. Since she will have Monkey Duty while I am at the conference itself, I wanted to be sure to treat her to something special beforehand. While I had Southwest on the line, I went ahead and made my reservations for Las Vegas in early July. We are just going for a quick visit to stay with my Grandma C (I still appreciate the irony that Arun’s only Indian grandma is coming from MY side, not X's since his own mother has already passed away.) I can’t explain it, but it was very important for me to get Arun out there in his first year. I am hoping, if we can afford it, that we will continue to go every year like I have been for awhile. I am VERY excited to take Arun to a place that holds so many special memories for me.

So, yesterday I had our friend S and her sons over for a playdate/lunch. S is from Singapore but is ethnically Indian. She totally ROCKS. This is a good example of her personality - when White people “compliment” her on her English by saying her “English is good”, she sweetly says “Thank you! And so is yours!” - it cracks her up that many Americans don’t understand that just because you speak with an accent, it doesn’t mean your English can’t be pitch perfect like hers. It was a nice lunch and very NONstressful for me because I knew I could throw out a nice chicken piralen and that neither her kids nor her would blink an eye. She also helped me figure out some things I can feed Arun at this stage - I pulled items out of my cabinets and she gave me different ideas for them. Also, I realized something - as I heard her discipline her children in Malayalam and Tamil, I started to think that maybe I should give more effort to this Hindi or Malayalam thing. Like, it might be useful to know how to totally kick Arun’s ass in a foreign language. It could come in handy the first time he throws a fit in Target - right? Child Protective Services THAT, be-yotch.

Which leads to a new topic. After all these outings to petting zoos, pools, malls, parks and such, I am utterly frightened by all the out of control kids running around these days. And the parents? Even MORE frightening running around AFTER the kid saying gently "No, no." Um, Hello? Your kid just bitch-slapped another kid and you're saying "No, no"? Don't get me wrong - I fully expect that my own kid is probably going to hit, bite, slap, tackle another kid sometime, somewhere. THAT'S WHAT KIDS DO. However, I have high expectations for MYSELF as to how I am going to handle it. Damn straight, "No, no" ain't gonna cut it. Do I have the answers now? No, and truthfully, I probably never will. In fact, I don't think ANYONE has the answers. Back before Arun arrived, when I was still Armchair Parenting, I always maintained that the key to Good Parenting was to have IDEAS, not Answers. I still stand by that assertion. The best parents I have seen operate like that - try, try, and try again until they figure out what works for THEIR KID. So, to that end, I am starting to look into a variety of books - I plan to read something by Brazelton, something by the Love and Logic guy, and right now I am reading Karp's The Happiest Toddler on the Block. And, since I am finally finding peace with my Inner Granola, I will even read something by Sears. Again, do I think these books will hold all the Answers? No, but I do want to be armed with IDEAS. This is why I jokingly refer to Goofy Girl and our friend L (in VA) to be tied for the Goldilocks Award of Parenting. It's not that they have it perfect or that their kids are angels, but rather they seem to have a struck a nice balance. They have lots of Ideas how to handle different situations, their kids are fairly well-behaved and they don't put up with a lot of crap. Most importantly, they ENJOY being parents and for the most part, are pretty relaxed. Because seriously, don't we all want to ENJOY this experience - otherwise, why even bother to sign up for the gig in the first place? In short, Parenting in a Pigeonhole is a dangerous business. One outing to your local zoo, park or shopping mall is proof enough.

Hypocrite Disclaimer: Print this out and stick it in my face when my kid is a raving lunatic in about 6-12 months. I am sure I will need the reminder since Ignorance is indeed, quite Blissful.


Puts New Meaning to MeatHead

How much you wanna bet this guy is only packin’ a roll a dimes?

Lean Times

When we put him in a swing, he automatically pitches forward in it despite our best efforts to get him to sit BACK. I guess it must be more exciting that way.


Spoutin’ Off

My sister has reserved the wading pool at South Park in Lawrence for her and her friends for 2 months this summer. Since I am her sister, by default she has to include me. Arun LOVED the water spouts - I could barely get him in the water and THEN, all he wanted to do was STAND, which is all he wants to do these days anyway. So, I took him to the “deep” part and he stood by the edge. It actually worked quite well because the water helped keep him upright.


I’m A Fool For Your Love
These snaps are special because they represent one of those Perfect Moments that Life pitches your way every now and then. You know, one of those moments that give you pause and you think very quietly to yourself, ”Damn. I want to remember this FOREVER.” We were just out in the yard, playing with books - nothing special, just enjoying the shade, the trees and the relatively nice weather. Arun kept crawling all over me and trying to use me as a prop to stand. At one point, he grabbed my LIP to try and hoist himself up. At another point, he sucked my NOSE. Two of our cats kept coming in and out of the scene which only served to excite Arun even more. He cracked me up so much that I was giggling really hard - REALLY HARD - which only made HIM laugh harder. I wish I could bottle these Moments up to save for later when Life throws me a Crappy Moment.

The Jayhawk Hazing in progress. He WILL like KU, dammit. Whether he likes it or not.

Ignore my grave need for a pedicure. Seriously - just move along.

Somedays, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be hanging out with a guy like this.

6 comments:

Flybunny said...

I hear you on the lack of control by other parents, it seems the further south in JoCo you go, the worse it has the potential to be.

Last week at the girls dance class, I had a little boy hit me with a toy motorcycle,hard enough to leave a bruise. I told him No and then he went and got his sippy cup and proceeded to try to hit me with it and his Mom did not even apologize to me just picked him up and said no no and grabbed the cup out of my hand. She then looked at another Mom and said "What can I do? He's all boy!" My 9 yr old was indignant on my behalf and said it was rude and it was.

I like your thoughts on parenting and I think you are so right - it isn't about having the answers but having the ideas - I really like that, I will have to remember that!

Cagey said...

Flybunny,
I HATE the comments like "he's all boy" or "what can I do? that's just HIM!" Grrr - I have another post coming about THAT. I think the "ideas vs answers" hit home for me when watching my sister with my nephews. The strategies that worked with the older nephew do NOT work with the younger - they are such different personalities. I should have included my sister in the Goldilocks category - and I do have several other friends that fit in, also. My sister is very good at looking at a kid and trying different things.

Jane said...

Yay, a new post! Great pix. :)

Are you and Arun and X coming over on Saturday for our party?

Jane said...

Nevermind that last question - I knew the answer was "maybe" and I forgot.

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

Is that little blue-eyed girl your niece? Because she is totally adorable too...cute babies must run in your family.

It's interesting to see the progression of the Simian Snaps...Arun has gone from adorably babyish with bug eyes to...tiny pre-toddler looking beautiful mini-human (if that makes any sense). I can practically hear the squeals of delight in the "awesome moment" pictures.

My parents didn't own a camera when I was this young but I look at my little sister's photos sometimes and can totally see the same progression.

Wordnerd said...

Oh my God the adorableness...it must stop!!!! Yummmmm!