Today, I totally had a OMIGOD Moment. When the housecleaners came today, I took off for the gym. These days, Arun loves to follow them around and basically get in their way. Normally, I am scurrying around just ahead of them since I need to the have the entire house picked up first for them to be able to do their job. Last night, I actually planned ahead for this morning and cleaned the house after Arun went to bed (what a concept!) so that allowed us to leave K and R in peace. Anyway, as I hopped into the Ridiculous Car to head for the gym, I had a very weird case of the Tingles - a moment where I realized my life is barrelling towards one big fucking suburban cliche. All that was missing from my day was a gin-soaked luncheon planning my next charity auction, an afternoon appointment to get my nails done and later in the evening, another dirty martini - all while the nanny takes care of Arun. Of course, we don't have a nanny, a charity or for that matter, even any gin so perhaps there is still hope for me.
Oh, and yes - we still have the housecleaners. It was one of the first things X and I came to agreement on during our pre-marital counseling thingie course the Catholic church requires. We talked about how to divvy up household chores and my Indian husband was the one to insist we get housecleaners. When I started staying home full-time, I was all set to cancel the service, but X felt guilty for having to travel so much and insisted we keep them. So, I can't really cancel them because if I complain even ONCE about some sort of household chore, X will remind me that he wasn't the one who wanted to cancel the service. You see how this works, right? The moral of the story is: Ladies, marry yourself an Indian. They might be mama's boys, but their mamas had housecleaners.
I haven't ranted for awhile, so I'm going to let a few rip right now. Don't mind the smell.
- When you see my son and observe he is older than your child, even though your child is much, much bigger.... never, ever is it considered even mildy appropriate to utter the words "Wow!" and "Tiny!". Particularly, in light of the fact that I don't even know who you are and we are just hanging out waiting for our tables at a restaurant. I know you are just being thoughtless, but I still can't help but add another descriptive adjective.
- When you come from out of town to a company dinner and see several folks eagerly volunteering to take my child, hold him, entertain him and even feed him, it is not appropriate for you to observe that "Gee, it was nice to have others taking care of your child for you". The built-in "nannies" are FRIENDS and were genuinely excited to see him. Besides, it takes a village and apparently, you are its fucking idiot.
- It's nice that you are all into that baby sign bullshit, but I am not. Therefore, I don't need you pointing out that had I taught my precious progeny baby signs he would be able to tell me when he is sick and hungry. I also don't care that your kid knows baby sign because I saw your other kid become so dependent on it, you had to force him to use spoken words to wean his baby sign addiction because his spoken words were so delayed. When they have baby signs for more useful phrases such as "Quit poking the cat or he'll shred your face to ribbons.", only then will I consider teaching my kid baby signs.