January 10, 2007

How about resolving not to resolve?

I had wanted to post yesterday - I even had a draft started on something I've been wanting to write about. However, by the time I put Arun to bed at 8:00pm, I was feeling mighty poorly - probably whatever I ate for dinner. I was in bed by 9:00pm, which seems to happen fairly often these days, although I usually read for an hour or so. Not last night. Eek...........

Anyway, over the past week or so, I've read some fairly sad resolutions. Broad, vague, over-reaching ones. Resolutions where the writers have clearly set themselves up for failure which leads me to wonder if that writer isn't going to beat himself/herself up later for not reaching such lofty goals. No, I am not sneering or criticizing. Quite the opposite. For example, for one to resolve that he/she is "going to be a better person" isn't really a goal - maybe it's an aspiration, but it's not a goal in the strict sense of the word. At one of my first jobs, I took a little "goal making" on-line course and they taught the system of using the acronym SMART to make goals. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Reasonable, and Timely (here is a useful link that goes into a detail.) I've also seen many folks make such a LONG list of goals that it wasn't clear when they were planning to sleep. I've also seen the IMPOSSIBLE goal, or to be fair, NEARLY impossible goal. Seriously, is losing 100 pounds in a year reasonable? Losing weight IS admirable, but in most cases, losing 100 pounds in a year is probably dangerous or involves some sort of surgey.

So........I had previously said that I hadn't really made any resolutions except to give or send a birthday card to everyone on my Palm calendar this year. However, I inadvertently had made another one. I am going to the gym twice a week through May, then will start up again when NewKid is around 2 months old. Actually, I had started trying to go to the gym regularly in October, but quickly got waylaid with NewKid. Going to the gym has been a struggle since Arun has been born for a variety of reasons, but recently it is has been due to the fact that Arun didn't like being left in the nursery - most trips to the gym ended up with me leaving my workout early. However, yesterday we had an astounding success! He stayed in the nursery the entire time and when I went to get him, he was running around quite contentedly. Then, we ended up staying an extra 15 minutes playing in the children's gym that is next to the nursery.

However, my goal with the gym isn't really a weight thing, but really a "let's stretch my legs, keep my pregnancy weight gain to 25 lbs and get Arun out and about" thing. Simply put, the goal THIS year is to just make going to the gym a habit. Maybe next year, I'll worry about the 30 lbs or so of "Bonus" Me that I'm schlepping around - I gained 20 lbs when I quit smoking and just haven't lost it OR the extra 10 of "insulation" of which I was already in possession when I kicked my Capri Ultra Lights to the curb. On the one hand, of course, I am not satisfied with my weight. On the other, I learned in my early 20s that ideal weight doesn't not equal happiness - I was probably at my unhappiness in my life when I was at one of my skinniest. 30 lbs Bonus Me is definitely the most contented she has ever been in her life although, admittedly, Bonus Me would like to go shopping for a smaller size after she is done with all this Baby Making Bidness. Okay, enough 3rd person - what the fuck? Do I think I am Royal or something??

Speaking of weight, I am almost at the point where I need to get out the maternity clothes - I really don't need the pants yet, since I am still about 7 lbs BELOW where I had even started with Arun, my pants are not too uncomfortable - gaining baby, just not weight. However, because I am gaining baby, my shirts look AWFUL on me now. I'm at that Is or Isn't She? stage of Frump and maternity shirts help clear the air.

Also, I've never depended on the New Year for goals. In October of last year, I started flossing regularly - I floss nearly every day now and I HIGHLY recommend the Reach Flosser. It turns out what bothered me about flossing was wrapping the floss around my fingers and cutting the circulation off to them - NOT the actual flossing. I love flossing now and my teeth have never felt better. Finally, I quit smoking June 21, 2000 and I haven't had a cigarette since.

Folks, it's never a bad time to make a positive change. Why wait til January?


Dee said...

I like your attitude. I think part of the reason that New Year's resolutions are so popular is that people feel refreshed after leaving the busy holiday season behind them. Plus, that whole "fresh start" feeling is encouraging. As for myself, I'm just going to try to focus on myself a little more and not quite so much on everyone else. That should last until next week or so.

flybunny said...

I don't ever make resolutions because I know myself well enough to know that I won't follow through and then I feel guilty and then well I think you hit on the cycle.

This year though, hubby and I together agreed to work on our finances - we have set some future goals that we really want to achieve but will need to better our position now so it isn't really a resolution - is it???

Kerry said...

I agree with you that there's never really a wrong time of year to make a resolution. I cut out some bad habits a few months ago, and really got started working on some good ones maybe in November or something. But I have been noticing this year that January just seems to have a certain energy to it that helps you tip the balance between putting things off again and deciding that there's never going to be a better time to start than now. I think it's a combination of the New Year and the fact that the days are finally getting longer again.

Shalini said...

The only thing my husband and I resolved to do this year is to get our taxes done by February 15th and not file the 2 extensions we have needed the last few years. I think you excercise plan sounds great! Definitely attainable and smart.

meno said...

I made 4 goals, two of them were to continue doing something and the other two were to try and do something.

That way i have an out.

Good luck with the gym habit. It is now a habit for me. Yay!

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

I've really been enjoying my water pik.

scribbit said...

You should submit this to the contest I've got. Resolutions anyone?

Jenn said...

I hear ya on the smoking weight. Even though I'm only 5ish lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight, I'm still 15 lbs from my pre-SMOKING weight. And 15 lbs is HUGE when your only 5'1"!

Reesh said...

I gave up on resolutions a long time ago. Not that I am perfect in any way, but I really do strive to be the person I want to be everyday of my life.

Just wanted to say hello and thanks for your comment on my blog. I think it's fantastic that you are still breastfeeding and plan to continue breastfeeding through your pregnancy.

Cagey said...

Dee and Kerry,
I agree that the New Year has a nice, "fresh start" feeling to it.

I disagree - what you've made IS a resolution. A goal to reach a goal, right? For example, my gym goal this year is to just walk through the door!

My goal is not very aggressive, but I am not comfortable with heavy exercise while pregnant.

One of your goals is to "try" to do something? Genius! You win either way. ;-)

Re-read that sentence. It sounds dirty, which made me giggle.

Thanks for the suggestion! Done.

I am 5'5, so I totally hear YOU. Still, wasn't it worth kicking the cigs?

I am going to wean Arun by April - I don't want to overlap or wean him too close to the new baby's arrival in case he regresses. I definitely do NOT want to be nursing 2 children at once. Other than the planning, it's not difficult.

dorothy said...

I made two resolutions. One totally easy, the other totally hard. We'll see how it goes!