DNA PROJECT STATUS REPORT - Year 1
Project Name: Arun
Code Name: Grunts While Pooping
Start Date: Jan 18, 2005
Estimated Completion Date: Oct 16, 2023
Reporting Period: April 2006 - Oct 2006 (refer to Previous Reporting Period here)
TASKS DESCRIPTION (TASK STATUS)
1. Current Weight Status: 19 lb. 14 oz. (No Issues to Report this Period.)
2. Progress from Crawling to Stumbling. (Manageable Issues Exist.)
3. Strike a suitable photographic pose upon request. (Serious Issues Exist.)
4. Wake up at 8:30am sharp. (No Issues to Report this Period.)
5. Fall asleep at 8:00pm sharp. (Manageable Issues Exist.)
6. Wave greetings and goodbyes consistently and in context. (Serious Issues Exist.)
7. Resist the siren call of the trash can.(Manageable Issues Exist.)
8. Fight the temptation to consume dirt, leaves, cigarette butts and any other NON-food items within one's wily pincer grasp. (Serious Issues Exist.)
9. Work out the details for completion of the Great Feline Peace Accord of 2006. (Manageable Issues Exist.)
10.Abstain from using irresistable dimples to one's advantage. (Serious Issues Exist.)
11. Grant a "high five" upon request. (No Issues to Report this Period.)
OBJECTIVES FOR NEXT REPORTING PERIOD
1. Progress from Stumbling to Walking to Running. Finalize training plan for the New York Marathon.
2. Set up an anger management hotline for the Grouchy Ladybug.
3. Learn how to hold liquor like a MAN.
4. Ascertain what actually passes for appropriate Pigeon behavior.
5. Accept the unfortunate fact that cat food is actually meant for CATS.
6. Begin the sequel to Urban Babies Wear Black . Tentative title is "Suburban Babies Wear Janie and Jack."
7. Establish emergency preparedness plan for dealing with Hippos that have gone Berserk.
8. Finalize thesis for college entrance essay. Essay's provisional title is "Eric Carle: An Introspective Analysis of The Man Behind the Collage."
9. Realize that snatching toys away from playmates is not a particularly sure route to Social Harmony.
10. Compare and contrast the differentiation of qualification vs. quantification of magnetic properties using basic refrigerator magnets.
Note: Chart based upon actual data meticulously recorded after each weigh-in at the breastfeeding support group sessions. This is what happens when one's mother is a former professional who desperately misses Excel spreadsheets.
You've come a long way, Arun beda.
One Half Year
One Entire Year.
I wanted to be a mother for a long, long time and he is everything I could have ever hoped for in a child. And more. He's so much more than I dreamed of that it takes my breath way. To have all of one's dreams and fears encapsulated in one tiny, beautiful human being is equally daunting and awe-inspiring. And I wouldn't change a thing.
They say that "a child is God's opinion the world should go on". I finally understand that sentiment.