October 16, 2006

Why do we say "Bye Bye" but not "Hi Hi"?

DNA PROJECT STATUS REPORT - Year 1

PROJECT OVERVIEW
Project Name: Arun
Code Name: Grunts While Pooping
Start Date: Jan 18, 2005
Estimated Completion Date: Oct 16, 2023
Reporting Period: April 2006 - Oct 2006 (refer to Previous Reporting Period here)

TASKS DESCRIPTION (TASK STATUS)
1. Current Weight Status: 19 lb. 14 oz. (No Issues to Report this Period.)
2. Progress from Crawling to Stumbling. (Manageable Issues Exist.)
3. Strike a suitable photographic pose upon request. (Serious Issues Exist.)
4. Wake up at 8:30am sharp. (No Issues to Report this Period.)
5. Fall asleep at 8:00pm sharp. (Manageable Issues Exist.)
6. Wave greetings and goodbyes consistently and in context. (Serious Issues Exist.)
7. Resist the siren call of the trash can.(Manageable Issues Exist.)
8. Fight the temptation to consume dirt, leaves, cigarette butts and any other NON-food items within one's wily pincer grasp. (Serious Issues Exist.)
9. Work out the details for completion of the Great Feline Peace Accord of 2006. (Manageable Issues Exist.)
10.Abstain from using irresistable dimples to one's advantage. (Serious Issues Exist.)
11. Grant a "high five" upon request. (No Issues to Report this Period.)

OBJECTIVES FOR NEXT REPORTING PERIOD
1. Progress from Stumbling to Walking to Running. Finalize training plan for the New York Marathon.
2. Set up an anger management hotline for the Grouchy Ladybug.
3. Learn how to hold liquor like a MAN.
4. Ascertain what actually passes for appropriate Pigeon behavior.
5. Accept the unfortunate fact that cat food is actually meant for CATS.
6. Begin the sequel to Urban Babies Wear Black . Tentative title is "Suburban Babies Wear Janie and Jack."
7. Establish emergency preparedness plan for dealing with Hippos that have gone Berserk.
8. Finalize thesis for college entrance essay. Essay's provisional title is "Eric Carle: An Introspective Analysis of The Man Behind the Collage."
9. Realize that snatching toys away from playmates is not a particularly sure route to Social Harmony.
10. Compare and contrast the differentiation of qualification vs. quantification of magnetic properties using basic refrigerator magnets.



Note: Chart based upon actual data meticulously recorded after each weigh-in at the breastfeeding support group sessions. This is what happens when one's mother is a former professional who desperately misses Excel spreadsheets.

You've come a long way, Arun beda.

One Day



One Week



One Month



One Quarter



One Half Year



One Entire Year.
Gulp.


I wanted to be a mother for a long, long time and he is everything I could have ever hoped for in a child. And more. He's so much more than I dreamed of that it takes my breath way. To have all of one's dreams and fears encapsulated in one tiny, beautiful human being is equally daunting and awe-inspiring. And I wouldn't change a thing.


They say that "a child is God's opinion the world should go on". I finally understand that sentiment.

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

Arun is looking much less like a baby and much more like a little boy in those last couple of pictures. I have really enjoyed watching him grow this last year.

Happy Birthday Arun!

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

Happy Birthday Arun!!!

(the spreadsheet is killing me...you're still a professional Cagey, you're just putting your skills to a different task :))

Shalini said...

Happy Birthday! Love the pictures : )

Modern Day Hermit said...

Happy Birthday, Arun! What a handsome little fellow.

Love, love, love the photos! It's amazing how different he looks just from the last photos that have been posted. I swear they morph overnight.

As an excel junkie, I adore the chart as well!

Leah said...

Happy Birthday!!! So funnny...

MLE said...

Happy birthday, Arun!

scribbit said...

I love the hair, it's just so cute!

Rozanne said...

Happy Birthday to Arun!

I can't believe he's already a year old.

Hilarious that you made that graph!

Wordnerd said...

Excellent presentation, Ms. Rancid.

Hee hee! Adorable. Him. And this post.

Happy Birthday, sweet boy!!!

dorothy said...

All of the sudden, overnight, he looks like a little boy.

Gasp.

Flybunny said...

You are killing me with the cuteness. I hope Arun had a good first birthday. I can't wait to hear about the party or did that already happen?

Loving the chart - I love my spread sheets, it is a love not many others can understand :)

Me said...

Happy Birthday, Arun! Such an adorable little boy (sorry for the non-baby classifcation, but it really does fit . . .)

Oh, and GREAT chart. Nothing so satisfying as a good Excel chart, no? :-)

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday! YOu have a beautiful little boy.

Diana said...

Happy Birthday, Arun!

I loved looking at all the pictures and remembering when you posted them for the first time, over this past year. May this year be even more spectacular and joy-filled.

Cheryl said...

Happy Birthday, Arun!

(Why does he look like such a little man? *Sob* Why???)

CPA Mom said...

Happy Birthday to your little man. I'm weeping over here, just weeping. A beautiful post. A little warning next time.

Signed, another excel spreadsheet whore.

Quizman said...

Happy birthday to the cute little fella. Incredible progress.

Not to be nitpicky, but it is beta, with a t.

My 15 month old has got his "hi"s right. Except, he has picked up the tv remote, the iPod, and other metal objects, put them on his tiny ear, in an attempt to talk to other like minded phone users. If only all metallic objects were phones. [But he did pick up the phone correctly once - while I was in a conf call with 15 other people at work. In the middle of a serious ramble by my director, I heard a cute voice from another line go "Hi, Hi, Hi....Hi...". Brought the house down, I can tell you that.]

FFF said...

Happy Birthday, Little Man! What a great birthday post. I loved all the pictures and the memo format. I am sure you will get funding approval to continue your project for an additional year based on this status report! :)

Jenn said...

HAHAHAHA You crack me up!!

Happy Birthday Monkey!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Arun!

You probably didn't hear us, what with us being separated by a half a planet, but we lit a birthday candle and sung the birthday song for you.

cagey, it's been an absolute delight to watch Arun grow from the baby he was then to the little boy he is now.

And he is, suddenly, a little boy.

Anonymous said...

and fyi: 'anonymous' is me, but blogger wouldn't post my comment under I logged in under the 'other' option.

aibee

Anonymous said...

that'd be 'unless', not 'under'.

Cagey said...

Aibee,
For the blogger "down under" all your references to "under" made my day! :-)

Quizman,
You are right, it is "beta", although I swear I have seen it tranliterated "beda" as well. I hesitated which way to spell it and went with the "softer" sounding one. Additionally, I didn't want there to be confusion since i was using the word "project" and maybe my English speaking readers would have interpreted it as a "beta vs alpha" comparison.

Photobug said...

Cagey, I loved this post. I hadn't read your stuff in a bit, but this was true to the sense of humor from you I have always enjoyed. Great stuff. Both sisters and mom say Arun is adorable...actually all they say is AWWWWWW but I know what they mean.

On a seperate note you have caused me to create a new blog. I referenced you in my first post giving you credit (or blame)where it is due. You can find it at http://photobug-fstop.blogspot.com/

Talk to you later,

CG aka Photobug

caro said...

Heee ... that's great. I can't see the spreadsheets & photos anymore, sadly. Are you at work on a year 4 status report?