Olathe Grandma and I went to Older Nephew's soccer game on Saturday while driving to Tonganoxie and back. I realize I knock on Olathe Grandma a lot, but really, she is your typical grandma in many ways, so it's an easy target. I should mention that much of what I poke fun at here, is already laughed and giggled over WITH HER first. However, I fear I don't give her enough credit around here for how instrumental she has been to my sister and me. Regardless of what has happened over the years, Olathe Grandma has always been a steady constant. A total ROCK. Someone we could ALWAYS turn to in need. She showed us unconditional love, but still expected that we would grow up to be Responsible. She showered us with toys and books, but still expected that we would grow up to be Responsibile. She bought us Jordache jeans and Nike shoes even when she thought they were a waste of money, but still expected that we would grow up to be Responsible. She helped us in college, but still expected that we would grow up to be Responsible. So, in many ways, my sister and I have had it easy, but we still knew there were certain Expectations of us and never, EVER did we want to disappoint her. I suffered some major angst in my 20s thinking I had disappointed her. Now that I am in my 30s, I know that I haven't.
I've had some things in the back of my mind lately concerning death, guardianship of Arun, etc. If anyone understands these things, it's my grandma. She was widowed in 1946 after my grandfather died in an accident - he was a firefighter en route to an emergency. He was 26, she was 24, my dad was 18 months, and my aunt was 3.5 years. She had a rough road ahead of her - finding a job in a age where most women did not work. She had practically no savings and very little life insurance. But she did it by working hard and watching her pennies carefully.
So, while in the car on Saturday, I was able to talk to her about some of my concerns and WOW. Talking to her really put my mind at ease and helped me come to some decisions. Now that I am in my 30s, I don't turn to her very often for help anymore because of Pride. Furthermore, it's so very easy to take people in our lives for granted and I'll be damned if that hasn't been what I have done lately with my grandma. Someone who has had such a profound impact on me as a person and frankly, even more so now that I am a mother. Would I want to do everything the way she has? No, but she did show me that Unconditional Love mixed with Expectations can still yield some good results. My sister and I could have really gone down some wrong paths, but we didn't and our grandma deserves some of the credit. Saturday, coming back from Tonganoxie, I took the opportunity to thank my grandma for all that she has done. Actually, I have done that quite often over the years either in person, or spontaneous "thank you" cards. However, I hadn't done it lately and Saturday was a good time to do so.
In fact, it was the perfect moment to do so. Besides, is there ever a bad time to thank someone for something?
Easy Rider
5 comments:
I loved My Sisters Keeper and none of my close friends have read it so I had no one to discuss with - it was very thought provoking.
Sounds like you had a great weekend to relieve your blues - hope it continues through this sweltering heat (what is up with 90 degrees in Oct???)
Those little baby boys quickly turn into little boys. And then you'll blink and all of a sudden you have full-fledged boy who wants to play soccer, ride bikes and play on the monkey bars. Frankly, I'm scared to blink again. They grow so fast!
I know what you mean about suddenly needing to worry about all the 'what ifs', especially if something happened to you and your husband. Suddenly my life meant so much more to me. Sappy, but true. And rather scary.
We went through all of that last year, too. Frickin' sucks.
I loved My Sister's Keeper too. Your grandmother sounds amazing. It's hard to teach Responsibility.
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