Can I confess?

That one of the things I love most about staying home with Arun is that it actually gives me MORE time for myself? I don't know how working moms find time for themselves. If I worked in an office, I simply wouldn't have time for the Holy Trinity of my daily entertainment - Reading, Blogging, and Television. I am not sure I would be comfortable giving up too much television because it serves double duty as Knitting Time during the colder months. Some Blogging would probably have to go and that would be a damned shame because I have made some incredibly cool friends via blogging. I've always likened blogging to pen pals - just less time spent waiting around for a letter to show up, eh? The other thing about blogging that has become important to me is that it does give me some weird false sense of productivity. I mean LOGICALLY I know the Earth will continue to spin on its axis whether I post or not. However, when I don't post during my self-mandated schedule of Mon-Thur, it sets me on edge.

But Reading? Reading will never go. Never. I've always felt sorry for those of my friends that lament they've read "one book since little {insert name} was born and even that was a parenting book". That's an actual quote from a friend and it struck terror in my heart when she said it. For sure, the celebrity ragazines would be the first to bite the dust and that would NOT be a bad thing. I call 'em Brain Crack for a reason and am seriously, SERIOUSLY considering giving them up for Lent next year. That's about all I could give up, though. I can't fathom NOT reading. I do have several friends who balance the Motherhood gig with the Working gig and still manage to Keep it Real quite nicely. My hats go off to them because I don't think I could hack it.

SO, I just finished a few books that I have been mentally rolling around in my brain. They were Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce by Elizabeth Marquardt and I Hate Other People's Kids by Adrienne Frost.

First, Between Two Worlds:
I highly, HIGHLY recommend this book for anyone who is the child of divorce. First, a clarification - the author examined the effects of low-conflict, so-called "good" divorces. She states unequivocally (unequivocally!) that a high-conflict, abusive relationship must be ended and that without a doubt children are better off with a divorce in that case. Like, DUH. Instead, she examines those situations where the parents cut loose because they couldn't resolve their differences or were unhappy (for whatever reason that may be, including general unfulfillment or even adultery). This book is an excellent tool for introspection if you are a child of divorce. It forced me to reflect on many of my frustrations and disappointments surrounding the circumstances of my parents' divorce. It also allowed me to examine the lingering feelings of guilt and responsibility - emotions I realize now I had no business FEELING. I do recommend this book for a PARENT, but be warned that you will probably feel bad after reading it - I would urge a parent to still read this book because it offers a unique perspective on the effect of divorce on children without laying blame and judgement. Indeed, the author bends over backward saying that instead of feeling bad that they got divorced, the parents should take into consideration what the effects are to their children. Anyway, this book hit home for me. I remember distinctly telling people proudly that my parents had a "good" divorce. It wasn't until I hit my 20s that I understood that ALL divorces suck ass and there is no "good" divorce. Yeah, some are worse than others, but divorces are still varying shades of Suckitude. I think what frustrates me the most about my parents' divorce is that the awkwardness NEVER ENDS and now Arun is going to have to face it. For example, BOTH of my parents say "I don't have a problem with him/her", but it is still painful to have them at functions together. If they didn't have a "problem" with each other, then why the hell did they get divorced? Yowser. Tangent, much? ANYWAY, this was an excellent book that it lends itself to good discussion - I wish I would have read it for a bookclub.

Second, I Hate Other People's Kids:
I picked up this cheeky text while in Boston and immediately got a kick out of it, reading excerpts to X and our friends (who are childless). So, the book starts out funny, but the premise wears thin about halfway through. Probably, because I HAVE A KID. Um, so as a Previous Devotee to Hating Other People's Kids (well, maybe not ALL Other People's Kids, like my friends' and family's, but definitely the General Public's. That shops at Target. When I am also there.), I am acutely aware of my Newfound Prejudice. However, if you don't have kids and love Over The Top Sarcasm, this book is for you. My favorite quote is "a newborn is just an eraser with a hat". Which, um, I'll give her that one. However, this author irked me when she proclaimed mommy bloggers to be "self-indulgent". Whatever. ALL Identity Bloggers (of which mommybloggers are a subset) are self-indulgent. Anyone patiently and meticulously documenting the inane details of their lives is self-indulgent. Again, whatever.


Self Indulgent? So Be It.