You have nothing of interest to write about - that’s what happens. Unfortunately, while Enron and Co. singlehandly rose our cache as dirty rotten scoundrels, it did nothing to dispel the unfortunate stereotype that we are a boring bunch. Because we ARE a boring bunch. Lunch with these people is pretty miserable - all they do is trade stories of Careers Past. Am I the only CPA in the Kansas City area with HOBBIES?
It’s a Universal Truth: Having a sick husband at home is exponentially worse than being sick YOURSELF. If I could pry the goddamned germs from his runny little nose myself and live that cold all over again for him, I WOULD DO IT IN A FLASH.
Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing: The little Freeloader is managing to punch/kick me in the pelvic area while simultaneously tinkling the ivories known as my RIBS. Um, X and I are not inordinately tall people which leaves me to ask, EXACTLY HOW LONG IS THIS KID??????
Do I miss work?: NO. It floors me that I was so worried about missing work or being bored. Um, sure, I have boring days which are easily rectified by cleaning the kitchen, going to the grocery store, surfing the Internet, pounding out an email or two, doing laundry, picking up a book or a cat, calling my sister. In short, the most boring of household chores are STILL infinitely more interesting than my old job at Big Al's Lair. Will I miss KID FREE days of No Work? HELL YES. Anyway, it has been interesting this week doing somewhat Professional-Related activities, even if it is just attending classes. I almost choked on my lunch when someone asked if I was going to go back to work when the Freeloader is 3 years old. Why would I give up a good gig like this as Trophy Wife and Purveyor of Food? X is the easiest husband in the world* to have - all he needs is clean clothes and 3 spicy squares a day. I'm riding this pony til the wheels fall off!
Cat Situation 2005: We have decided to take our sweet, SWEET time finding a new home for Harry. X put his foot down on giving him up just to be a barn cat and well - little docile ole me could never argue with my domineering husband, right? MEN RULE THE WORLD FOR A REASON. THEY ARE SMARTER. Who am I to argue?** Anyway, we are just going to wait until the North Side Neighbor says something again and just let her know that we are looking. I am thinking we should give her a squirt gun - I don’t care if she hits him with water if that will keep him away from her. Besides, when winter comes, he won't be outside that much. YES, he CAN be an inside cat when it's convenient for HIM - typical cat, eh?
Dip a toe in my Baby Pool! Like to take a gander at the little Freeloader's weight? Email your guess to me at cagey333(at)gmail(dot)com. Include a length as a tie-breaker. Yeah, the winner's bounty will be lame (think Big Al) and probably won't be sent until either the kid heads to kindergarten or I recover from post-partum depression, but hey - LOOT IS LOOT.
* For exceptions, please refer to “It’s a Universal Truth” as previously provided earlier in this post.
** Great balls of fire, if you really believe that, then you have NOT been reading my blog enough, o ye of little faith. Refer to the Archives, please and give yourself 40 lashes.