Anyone need a cat??

Good grief - whoever said “Out with the old, in with the new” had it right on the nose............

9:00pm and I am snuggled in bed with a book.
The doorbell rings, which really freaks me out - it is 9:00pm, after all and I realized I hadn’t turned on the porch light yet. With visions of burglars running through my head, I dial X’s number and head downstairs. I quickly see it is my Northside Standoffish Neighbor* (NSN) and hang up on X. The conversation goes something like this:

NSN: Do you realize your cat is running around outside?
Sweet, Innocent Little Ole Me. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? It was just ME for Christ's sake: Which cat?
NSN: The black one.
Me: Um, yes - I am aware he is running outside.
NSN: Angrily Well, I have been putting up with this for a long time. I don’t want him in my yard, I don’t want him on my car, I don’t want him in my garage.
Me: Shocked gulp
NSN: Can’t you keep him in your yard?
Me: Um, he’s a cat.
NSN: Well, I am tired of it.
Me: Looking for excuse to GET HER OFF MY PORCH I’ll talk to my husband.
NSN: Fine.

Intermission: A quick conference with X and then my sister ensues. I needed the Double Guns for this one.............

9:30ish I am walking next door.
Me: Well, I spoke with my husband and we will have to find someone to take the cat.** It may take awhile, so please be a little patient with us. I am not really comfortable giving my pet to a shelter where they will end up just killing him.
NSN Friendly tone NOW. BITCH. She even smiled. Oh. Okay. You can’t just keep in your yard?
Me: Um, he’s a cat.
NSN Oh.
Me: Also, you should really have told us about this sooner. I don’t blame you for being upset that he was in your garage and on your car***, but we have lived here for almost a year now. You shouldn’t let stuff like that go. So please, in the future, tell us immediately when things like this happen. We can't fix the problem, if we don't even know that there is a problem.

You see, THAT is what really pissed me off the most, folks. The waiting, the festering, the stomping to my house, the delivering the news late at night instead of during the day - when I see her ALL the time. Tell me when the shit first HAPPENS. Letting it build up did nothing but create bad feelings because now I HATE HER. Not only do I have to get rid of my cat but I also got to come to the decision late at night after I had already prepared myself to SLEEP. Now, there will be no SLEEP and I am going to sit and stew over this all night.

I also can’t help but feel bad that I am trading in one baby for another, but really, there is no other alternative. NSN made it clear she will make things ugly for us.

*Not to be confused with my Southside Neighborly Neighbor.

**Quick Backstory: The cat is an outside cat - a black, male, neutered, fully-clawed cat - he would go apeshit if kept inside all the time. He came to us as a stray and we knew giving him to a shelter would ensure his death. We figured "outside cat? - can't hurt". He has worked out fine until NSN.

***I am NOT giving her “in your yard”. Get over the yard, lady. Squirrels, oppossums, birds, etc are in all of our yards. A freakin’ cat will not hurt your yard.