November 7, 2005

Isn't Crazy Just Relative?

Except for the obligatory 3 Week Milestone Pic, I declare this Monday to be relatively Baby Free. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named will not be the 100% focus of this blog for a change. After all, we don’t want him to get an ego and think that my life revolves around HIM now. Heaven forbid. Anyway - let’s see what I can muster up that doesn’t involve nipples, crying, diapers or unforgivable cuteness at the hands of my hairy little monkey.

Crazy Contaminations: As promised - my Pet Peeve. I will try to keep my bitchiness to a minimum, but this has been a pet peeve of mine for a good 10 years. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until about a year ago that I had a blog in which I could release my frustration. This is regarding all the myths and misconceptions regarding influenza - the flu. Sadly, much of the general public is very confused about what the flu really is. Over the years, I have heard more than one person say “Oh, I had the flu over the weekend” or “Wow - I got the flu yesterday - I was puking all day.” It’s okay to say the “stomach flu” (although it is actually food poisoning or the rotovirus), it is not okay to merely say the flu”. Influenza can actually be a a very serious respiratory infection - it infuriates me how the media and the uninformed public trivialize this virus. Furthermore, the avian flu or “the bird flu” has much more potential than just being a great punchline for late night talk show hosts. If that strain of the virus is able to make the jump from human to human (as opposed to the current bird to human scenario) we could all be in a big pile of caca. In short, if you have a really bad cold, just say “cold” and if you have a day or two of bad puking/diarrhea, please say “stomach flu”. End of Rancid Rant.

Crazy Family Pushes the Insanity Envelope: Growing up, my grandma always hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas for her 6 siblings complete with spouses and progeny. Back then, there were only about 30 of us total, so we could all fit into her house. That number has grown to such an extent that we can’t all fit into one person’s house anymore. A few years back, one of my great-aunts thought it would be a great idea to just rent a hall for Thanksgiving - and a great idea it was. Very stress-free and we are able to spend at least one of the holidays all together (we still scatter a bit for Christmas). However, this year, my little Thanksgiving flyer not only includes a confirmation for a turkey (I volunteered to bake one this year), it also requests a piano solo for the TALENT SHOW. I shit you not! Someone came up with the oh-so clever idea that we should have various members of the family show their talents. While I will not be tickling the ivories for this event, I will certainly be bringing the digital camcorder! HOLY CRAP - this is gonna be GOOOOD.

Crazy Comedy: Laughter is not always the best medicine. While recovering from the Great Arrival of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, I happened upon a new method for gauging the “funniness” of the shows I watch on TV. By using my handy-dandy Stitch-ometer and determining the amount of pain felt while viewing such programs, I can verify that Everybody Hates Chris and My Name is Earl are the two most hilarious shows going on TV right now. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Extras (with Ricky Gervais on HBO) rank a very tight 2nd place.

Cagey Goes Crazy: Yesterday, I had my first Monkey Free outing. I let my hair down and went to the grocery store! and Borders! and Best Buy! Oh My! I’ll admit the best part was getting to drive the car without Precious Cargo. I could drive like a bat out of hell without fear that old Noodle Neck in the backseat would ruin all my fun.

Crazy Cats: Our cats, the Original Babies of the Rancid le Manse, are doing stellar. Thanks to that venerable veterinarian, Christine, over at The Rabbit Lived , I was able to verify my Feline Strategy was indeed reasonable - my sister and mom thought I was a lunatic. In short, as we brought all the baby crap into the house, we allowed the cats to explore freely - and yes, this meant we found cats sleeping in the crib, the bassinet, the bouncy seat, the activity gym thingie, the boppy and yes - baby blankets. I think being lax really paid off - NO, the cats are not in love with this newfound competition, but they are accepting. They have also quickly figured out that if I am nursing, this means that not only will I be stationary for a good 45 minutes but that I will usually have free hand for PETTING THEM. Everyone thinks their pets are little geniuses - but seriously, mine really are!

No comments: