March 27, 2007

When does a Bad Day begin?

How about 1:00am?

Say, perhaps, you wake up at 1:00am. You give up on the Sandman's lazy ass and start puttering around your house - reading a book, surfing the Internet, raiding the fridge for soymilk, petting the cats. You finally get back to sleep at 4:00am. His Royal Highness (HRH) wakes up TWO hours early at 6:30am to much crabbiness. The rest of the morning is fretful with you holding on for dear life (aka The Nap). The Nap turns into an illicit affair to the sweet melody of No Way, No How, You Crazy Woman. Finally, you give up on The Nap and pack HRH up to head into Kansas City to eat at Manny's. Sometimes, Life simply requires a Monterrey burrito (and when you're not gestating, a margarita). Your heart threatens to thaw as HRH carefully dips his chips into his salsa to ensure his Sweet, Precious Fingers don't get dirty. However, when HRH begins to wantonly throw salsa-laden chips onto the floor, your heart realizes it was a False Alarm. During dinner, Your Husband, who is out of town, calls and as you recount your Tale of Woe, he replies "Well, somedays he's just not going to take a nap". You frantically try to recall where you saw that ad for a $50 Quickie Divorce and ponder how rapidly you can get the locks changed.

On your way home, you do a Driveby through Gymboree because Hello! It's For the Baby, Not For YOU which is the very best kind of Guilt Free Retail Therapy.

Of course, you know deep in your soul that your daughter will be just as much of a pill as her brother. Sugar and spice, my ASS. Gender Stereotypes are SO last century.

13 comments:

dorothy said...

I feel for you. I've got some ick in my lungs that left me feeling as though I couldn't possibly drag myself from bed this morning, though drag I did, which is precisely the verb I'll use for getting myself through the day. If the little angel shows up by my bedside tonight, I might have to kill her. Kidding, I KID THE INTERNET!

flybunny said...

Thanks Cagey, the power of suggestion is so strong with me that now I must have a monterry burrito and will probably drag the girls down there in the next couple of days for a fix.

Hope you are still avoiding the crud!h

md.macaca said...

Awww.. that really does sound terrible. I understand about the lack of sympathy issue though. It's so infuriating when you're upset about something and the people you expect comfort from, don't do that. Wow, talk about awkward construction.

FFF said...

So spill it--what did you buy at Gymboree? :) No nap days are horrible! And what is it with the throwing the food on the floor? We were at La Madeline this weekend and there were little bits of jam covered bread all over the floor, courtesy of my kid.

Diana said...

Well, you've managed to turn a day of pain and woe into written humor. Thank you for that.

Mamma Sarah said...

Hang in there.

Jane said...

Mmmm, Monterey Burrito...

Sorry about your crappy day. I hope today is better!

Dee said...

Why must you mention the Monterey Burrito when I just decided (after stepping on the scales this morning) that I must not eat for the next week? And margaritas too? I see a trip to Manny's in my near future. *sigh*

We did the no nap thing all weekend and then Sunday night he decided he was not going to bed. I definitely feel your pain.

Kirsten said...

Girl, I feel for you. I am 39 weeks pregnant with a teething 19 month old and I was crying about not being able to get enough sleep and my husband said to me "Well honey, you know that is what you signed up for when we had a family." Now he is dead.

Christy said...

I am sorry Arun didn't take a nap. That really sucks.

I totally understand the divorce thing. Men just don't understand the importance of naps.

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

Uh, is it wrong to laugh at the X comment???

I do hope you start getting some sleep. Likewise Arun.

Susan said...

I'm really sorry about the lack of nap! There must have been something in the air yesterday, A. didn't take one either. I noticed that X made his comment from a safe distance - surely he knows better than to say that in person.

And my dear daughter (as you know) is definitely NOT sugar and spice - I have to laugh every time we read that rhyme. She is WAY more frogs and snails and puppy dog tails!

CPA Mom said...

"Sugar and spice, my ASS." Good Lord woman, that was freakin' hysterical! You see, my son's favorite toy is his pretty pink princess phone (originally purchased for his sister) - he must have it everywhere and sleep with it. My daughter's favorite toys are the Home Depot power tools we originally purchased for our son.