February 14, 2007

If "Fantasy Island" really granted wishes, then
why wasn't Tattoo 6'2" ?

All day long, I've read posts that either mourn Valentine's Day or celebrate it. I'm Switzerland, frankly. I just don't care about it. It's a day that smacks of obligation and I would rather X not waste his time and energy on it. Our first Valentine's together, I told him to buy me a card and that would be the only one he would ever have to buy. And for gifts, I usually just buy something around that same time period, then give him a Get Out of Jail Free card - it eases both of our guilt that way (i.e. my purse purchase from last weekend, for example). We do use the holiday as an excuse to go for a nice meal, but we rarely go on the actual day itself because who really wants to fight the teeming crowds? X is out of town this week anyway, so we'll just go next week for something fancity fancy. I feel old for saying it, but mushy romance is over-rated. My husband is so sweet and good to me 364 days out of the year, why would I pressure him to make grand gestures on one particular day just because Hallmark said he must ? So, my conclusion regarding Valentine's Day is that Cupid is a schmuck selling snake oil.

So......yesterday was actually quite nice just staying in. Again, it helps that we rarely stay in and it probably didn't hurt that we had been gone over the weekend anyway. What wasn't nice is that we had run out of lemonade right before we left for Boston and I hadn't stocked up again. I was in pretty bad shape by the end of the day I wanted something sour SO BAD. My predicament wasn't helped by the fact that I had to stare at a bunch of Mike's Hard Lemonade every time I opened the fridge. I did break down and drink one, but I hate to waste precious alcohol consumption on a stupid Alco-Pop. I would rather have a quality glass of wine. Anyway. Oh, and I have already caught Arun starting to walk up the stairs holding the banister. I was really enjoying our gate-free existence, but up again they must go.

Confession, Internet: I don't actually like shopping on the Internet. Oh sure, I'll "window" shop on the Internet, but then I'll usually head out to a Brick n' Mortar establishment for the actual transaction. For most things, I like to see, feel, touch, sit on or try on whatever it is I am buying. For the commodity-type of purchases (makeup, books, etc), I loathe paying shipping for what I can buy in person (Exception: the Estee Lauder and Obagi products I buy online because they are WAY cheaper). So, despite all the kind suggestions for the rocker, I will be trolling antique malls in person. My ass needs to actually test the rocker before I purchase it. For the mascara, I am going to try Monkey's suggestion of Maybelline's Full n' Soft. Will report back on that.

Speaking of Monkey, she had a great post today on arranged marriages (look in the section titled Cultural Rubbernecking). Basically, her parents are going to pick 3 guys, hide 'em behind 3 doors and then, well you know the drill from there. I think a suitcase full of gold is involved, but I wasn't clear on the details. And for those of you who know, read and love Monkey, you are already aware of what a meek, timid, tiny wisp of a thing she is, just on earth here to do her parents' bidding. (If only!)

Actually, the way many people act towards arranged marriages irritates me to no end. The same folks that have no issues trolling bars and the Internet for Mr./Mrs. Right, bristle at the thought of a parent having a hand in meeting a potential mate. Also, to be clear, most so-called arranged marriages (at least the ones I have seen over the past 17 years) are probably closer to what could be termed "arranged dating". Besides, until so-called "love" marriages can get their divorce rates under the 50% mark, I don't think ANYONE should be smirking or rolling their eyes or exclaiming "OMIGOD, I could never.....

Ah, Love is in the air. Happy Valentine's Day!

12 comments:

The Mommy (fka 3under5) said...

I could just go through here and giggle about your post titles. Funny.

Jane said...

I just bought Bourjois/Coup de Theatre False Lash Illusion Mascara from Sephora after seeing it mentioned on Wednesday Advice Smackdown. I really like it, even though visting the Sephora site made me spend an extra $50 more than I had meant to.

Olivia said...

I agree with you on Valentine's Day. I think it is very annoying how all the marketing for V-Day is targeted toward men. The message is that if they don't buy the right, expensive gift and plan an elaborate affair, their significant other have every right to be angry with them.

I haven't read Monkey's post on arranged marriges yet, but I think as long as both parties have the final decision to get married, it can have excellent outcomes. When I was dating I told all my friends and family I was open to being introduced to men they know. I figured they knew me well enough to know what type of person I would like. My husband and I were introduced by mutual friends, and I don't think I could have found a better match for myself.

Christy said...

I never really thought about arranged marriages before, but maybe that should be the new fade in America. I like that idea.

Something has to change. I feel like most people don't take marriage seriously. Two of my close friends were married and divorced within a time span of only 2 years. 2 YEARS!!!

Cagey said...

Olivia,
X and I were introduced by a friend, also.

meno said...

Hmmm, you don't sound like Switzerland to me. That was suspiciously close to a rant. One which i agree with heartily.

As for arranged marriages, who are we to criticize it? I can see it working out if both parties understand that love is a behavior rather than an emotion.

Modern Day Hermit said...

As someone who has been divorced, I can't stand it when people are smug about relationships as though only 'they' worked hard and those that are divorced just give up.

Disclaimer:Just so everyone knows, not anyone here :).

People make mistakes, do I regret being married to my ex? Absolutely not, we are great friends now, we just didn't work being married. Life events sometimes change people to such a degree that it isn't healthy for them to be in such a relationship.

For those who have been lucky enough to get it right the first time, those people are incredibly lucky. A bad marriage is akin to hell, people are different, but I'd rather be single than in a relationship that just isn't working.

Divorce isn't the end of the world, when my ex and I initially split up I was so incredibly ashamed to even tell anyone because of how people oftentimes are judged. I think it's how you handle it that is important, children or not.

We all make our choices, how to find our spouses, to finally break up or to stay together, how many children we do or don't have. While I think social accountability is important for the general well-being of society as a whole, as long as we do our best to make sure we help those get through situations (children & divorce) as best we can and aren't making decisions that truly don't have a negative effect on others, do what works for you and yours.

Anywho...sorry to be so ranty-like!

:::

I'm not a Valentine's Day celebrator either. I don't like or dislike it, it's just another day.

Cagey said...

Meno,
Nah, I really am Switzerland - I don't care if others get into it, but I really prefer not to myself. I do hate all the stupid ads for jewelry, though.

Love is a behaviour! SO TRUE.

Diana said...

We're Swissish, too. Each got the other a funny card. We were going to go out for dinner (with the kids) Saturday, but the flu is sweeping through our house, so maybe next weekend...

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

I sort of forgot about it heh heh. I did do a romantic dinner last year with the Gazelle.

What irritated me the most is that I simply don't care that other people can't "ohmigod I could never IMAGINE" the scenario. I'm pretty well aware that someone from outside a culture that practices said system would not ever consider being set up that way so why bother telling me. It took dredging up 3 years of good memories of her from law school to prevent me from bursting out with a STFU at that point.

Plus, I don't see how it's all *that* different from the "friends" network people use to meet people either. I guess in my case I have parents I can trust to find someone decent. Some people use parents, some people use friends...it's basically using the trustworthy parts of your social network.

And yes, "introduced dating" is wayyyyy more accurate, THANK YOU for bringing that point up. The only difference is really that because you meet through family, the parents, if they feel either the boy or girl is not "serious" is going to tell "Mr/Ms Okay-For-Right-Now" to shit or get off the pot after a certain period of time...to put it crassly. In fact, my cousin, who married a girl he absolutely does NOT deserve (in that she is a sweet, kind person and he's a jerk), was told by her parents that they were NOT going to let him string her along through his 7-8 year combined surgery + plastic surgery residency without marrying her by claiming the residency as an excuse.

So he married her. And they're very happy. OTOH, he was perfectly willing to string her along for X number of years because he's lazy that way.

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

Oh, and here are the Makeup Alley reviews for full and soft...apparently some people think waterproof is a better formula. I've had good success with regular.

http://www.makeupalley.com/product/showreview.asp/ItemID=559/Full_and_Soft_Mascara/Maybelline/Mascara/

K8 said...

Ack! I feel bad for pointing you to drugstore.com for the 2000 Calorie in the Advice Smackdown before seeing that you're not into shopping on the internet. Understandable -- I'm mostly a "cart" shopper online, too. Should have read your blog before commenting on your comment... shame on me.