Pet Owner of the Year
I am pretty picky - maybe even anal retentive - when it comes to certain things. An example would be opening bags and boxes, etc. I hate it when X just rips into things. I have a handy-dandy pair of Pampered Chef kitchen shears hanging by our stove just for the purpose of cutting bags and such. Neatly. Nicely. It makes it much simpler to close them up later. X? Totally doesn't get this and thwarts my efforts at every turn. So, as usual, he rips open his bag of cashews. Then leaves them in his suitcase. Which Arun discovers. I turn around and cashews are strewn all over the floor. However, our cat Pearson does this "cashew strewing trick" as well. I realize I can scoop the kid up and leave the house, thus pretending I didn't see the mess, hoping that X will see the mess and furtively clean it up so I don't discover he left an open bag of nuts for Pearson to dig into. It worked! The beauty is that neither X nor the cat is the wiser of my nefarious plot of deception.
Daughter of the Year
My mom watched Arun last night. When we went to pick him up, she told me she couldn't find the wipes and used moist towelettes instead. The kind you use after consuming a meal of barbecue or seafood. The kind with alcohol in them and a fresh lemon scent. The kind that probably shouldn't touch a baby's ass. After mercilessly giving her crap about it, I told her "You know this is going on my blog, right?"
Wife of the Year
So, Handbag Negotiations are completed. I will be getting a new purse after throwing in my Birthday and Valentine's Day in the ring. I purposely withheld Mother's Day knowing that I will see the Hangbag of my Dreams that throws me overbudget. However, I can now triumphantly whip out Mother's Day from my sleeves.
Mother of the Year
As Arun and I were tooling around in the car today, I was going through various animal sounds. After I asked Arun what sound a dog makes, I came upon a yellow light just as I needed to make that split second decision of Slam It or Gun It. Now, my son thinks a dog goes "Oh, fuck.