May 26, 2010

Apparently, you have questons. Sadly, I have no answers.

As I mentioned in my last post, I spent part of last week digging around in my Statcounter to see where folks are coming from.  Lately, I am have been peeking at the "keyword analysis" function.  It is obvious some people are coming to my page for information.


You see, there was a time on this blog when every post title was in the form of a question.  I did it for several years simply because it was fun.  However,  last summer, I royally decreed that it was no longer fun and allowed myself to use other methods of punctuation in my post titles.  In the meantime, it seems folks are thinking I will actually answer their question.

I almost feel bad.  

What is your favorite search request that has led to your site?

Where the Hell Are Max and Ruby's Parents?
Inquiring minds want to know!  Witness protection?  Hanging out with Jack and Kate on the island? Phish tour?  Two years later and I still have not been able to track down that elusive pair of ancestral bunnies.  Trixie Belden, I am not worthy to wear your crown..

I really feel sad for the saps surfing to my site via a giant wave of Google Juice prompted by this question.  Why?  Because this was a post with a silly, nonsensical title which never even made it into to the body of the post itself.   Deep down (way deep), I am a kindly sort of soul and I thought I should finally come clean with an answer.  After a bit of research, I found the answer via Virtual Bubble Wrap:
"Bubble Wrap manufacturing starts as polyethylene resin, in the form of beads about the size of pea gravel. The beads go into an extruder - a long cylinder with a screw inside that runs its entire length. As the screw is turned, heat builds up and the resin melts into a liquid that is squeezed out of the cylinder into two stacked sheets of clear plastic film. One layer of the film is wrapped around a drum with holes punched in it, and suction is applied drawing one web of film into the holes that form the bubbles. The second layer of film is then laminated over the first so that when the two films are joined, they stick together and trap the air in the bubbles."

Why is it called “taking a dump” when in reality, you are LEAVING one?
Yes, folks actually ask Google this question.  I mean, I am all for semantics, but this is pushing it. 

If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?
It pleases me to no end that others love a good rhetorical question as much as I do.  These are my people.

Why is the Baby crying? Why is the Baby NOT crying?
You can almost feel the air of desperation that surely must accompany these searches.  Because seriously, if you have to turn to random strangers on the Internet for that one, you must be desperate.

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him - Is he still wrong?


Christine said...

You got some good ones...why IS it called taking a dump. I'm jealous. I don't check my keyword searches that often, but I've only ever seen one...'boy out of context.' I finally tracked the IP down and realized that the same person is searching for my blog all the time. My sister. And I'm all, "Just BOOKMARK it already."

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

Nothing to say except LOL!

Mamma Sarah said...

Have to agree with Monkey on this one... total LOL!!

Miriam said...

This post thoroughly makes me laugh. :) Progress/congress! Hah!