If you are a blogger with over a million followers on Twitter? I will hold you to a higher standard when you make blanket accusations towards people - corporations or individuals. If you are Dooce? That standard will even be a little bit higher. You are a professional with an incredible amount of influence. Use your powers for good. (Sidenote: Sundry puts it all in perspective. As a former customer service representative myself, stories like these chap my hide. Look forward to a lengthier writing in the next week or so. Over the years, I have had some incredibly positive experiences in customer service and I believe it is because of the way I approach the PERSON on the other line.)
If you use the word "science" in your blog header? I will be disappointed when you write loose, thinly-veiled posts purporting to be a "discussion" when really, you are only writing it to support something in which you already believe and therefore, do not welcome comments to the contrary. And yes, when I write a tongue-in-cheek, devil's advocate comment, I will be a little pissed when others act like I am a moron because I dared to disagree. And yes, I will be tempted to unsubscribe, but I really do love me a delicious, hypocritical trainwreck.
If you consistently make poor financial choices , then are shocked when you have no money? If you choose to leave a job and put your health insurance at risk? I will begin to lose sympathy for you. Years and years and years of reading and hearing about all of your purchases of expensive goods, vacations home improvements and personal services will not help your case. Listen, X and I live an incredibly risky life because he is an entrepreneur - our health care costs are the definition of insanity. But we make financial choices in line with that lifestyle choice. This is why I do not complain. My insurance does not include maternity, so guess what, folks? We use BIRTH CONTROL. Shocking, yet true. I guess this could circle back up to my paragraph on Financial Choices. And no, this is not about a particular blogger or person - this is about at least ten folks that I can list off immediately who are blaming the economy for their woes, yet have complained about money for as long as I have known or read them. Listen up, your blog documents your lifestyle, why are you shocked when folks judge you harshly?
If you think that X and I are living high on the hog? Think again. Everyone makes certain decisions on how to slice their financial pie. Our decisions and priorities may differ than yours, but that does not mean we are not struggling, too.
That'll do, pig. This ranty, critical imposter is out of topics. What would you love to talk about?
15 comments:
Hear hear! There is one particular blogger I read that complains ad nauseam about her money woes when she clearly made choices (and continues to make choices) that contribute to those woes (family size, SAHM, etc.) all the while blaming the economy instead of her choices. What makes me so sick about it is that people who worship at her altar feel sorry for her and send her money! or pay for things for her! when other folks making better choices with the same money woes are left out cold. URGH!!!!!
/rant sorry for taking over your comments but no one dares disagree with her without being beat up royally by her minions
I hear you loud and clear, as someone who has always been super careful with money (to the point of being a tightwad) it hard for me to read about and deal with people who I felt like made risky decisions assuming nothing would ever go wrong. Then they look at someone like me and think boy are you lucky you are not suffering......yet I do not nor will probably ever own a new car, my hubs and I purchased a home for way less than the banks were willing to loan us (they were insane by the way, thank GOODNESS i listened to my inner voice).... and I actually save REAL MONEY before I go out and purchase something!!! no credit card debt here....these are not always easy choices to make, I see all the beautiful things that my friends have, but I know that I would trade my peace of mind and my security for them, and its just not worth it..... but it does make me mad. We are so quick to blame government, and ask government to fix it (even scarier in my opinion) but truly we would be a whole lot better off if we the individual had not let greed and one-upmanship drive us to not just be as good as the "joneses" but to have even more! Man dont ya wish i had my own blog instead of ranting on yours! Sorry
Melanie,
I am the typical ex-smoker who sniffs her nose at smokers.
I used to be absolutely terrible with money in my 20s. I had to claw my way out of debt and it was miserable living that way. I sort of lucked out in that I had a job that paid a good bonus, I had no life the entire time I worked there, but I did get most of the debt paid off because of that job. So, I do admit I am judgmental simply because I used to be there myself. I certainly do not claim to be nice person. :-(
Also, the car thing drives me crazy. The #1 thing I learned from my financial guru, my grandma, is that car payments are WORTHLESS. Manoj and I have a policy of no more than one car payment at a time and we try to time it so that both cars are paid off for at least a few years before buying the next car. That way we can save towards the next car purchase. I am so grateful I married someone who does not care what other people think about the car he drives!
Here's my thing, Kelli (and I'm fairly sure you'll take this in the loving "my side of the story" non-mean way it is intended :)) - there are a few topics that I don't think deserve unbiased treatment, and that is one of them. Given that 100 years of desperately-trying research has turned up no significant benefits (and yes, the UTI and AIDS things are spurious at best if you check out the studies), I think people in Europe, Canada, Australia, and a growing number of people here are just completely baffled that this culture keeps grasping for reasons to keep doing it. Certainly it's not something that makes someone a bad parent - it's just that even studies that purportedly argue FOR it can be refuted incredibly easily, so it's just so tough to see it still so culturally entrenched.
I agree about the dooce thing. Ex-customer service people everywhere can see that for what it is.
Found you via your comment on Sundry.....and I agree with the part about customer service. Mu husband works in a Service Dept. of a car dealership. I am always shocked at how many people demand free parts, labor EVRYTHING, simply because "the customer is always right" nonsence. It is completly out of hand and I think Dooce just made it worse.
JMH (who doesn't have a blog so I have use Anon)
Did i miss another kerfuffle? Oh. Darn.
Please, NO ONE BUY GOLD INGOTS. I repeat, PLEASE, NO ONE BUY GOLD INGOTS. I paid $1300 FOR A GOLD IINGOT AND IT HASN'T WORKED IN A WEEK.
I am available for all PR inquiries regarding gold ingots. I am giving you a chance to make this right, Gold Inc..
I told you I love it when you get all ranty. Thanks for making my day, considering I'm spending nursing a sick little boy with Strep. :)
Oh, but I have to say that stephanie of Completely Irrelevant left a very thoughtful comment outlining the other side of the argument on Sundry's blog.
Monkey, you must not have had Colombo for tax otherwise you would have said your Krugerrands were not working. Please deliver working Krugerrands to me!
And cars. We have a 1997 F150 (paid for), a 1999 Honda Accord (paid off before law school with 260,000 miles on it), and just recently sold our 1997 Buick LaSabre and bought a 2003 Town & Country WAY WAY WAY under KBB value. So we have a $120 car payment for the next few years. Many of our friends purchase new vehicles every 2-3 years and always have a mortage payment worth of car payments. I couldn't stand to live that way. But I definitely get the raised eyebrow of you're an attorney driving THAT?!? Yes, and my mechanic thinks it will easily get to 500,000 miles, so friends prepare to see that car for many more years.
Leah,
I think comparing male circumcision to honor killings, foot bindings, stoning and war is far too harsh and ridiculous. My son was circumcised (his father's choice based on his OWN experience in the matter) and was a little sore and tender by was fine by day 5. Those other "traditions" have a far greater reach of ramifications.
I disagree with two things in this post. 1)"If you choose to leave yoru job and put your health insurance at risk?" We all know the consequences of leaving a job, but I do not think a person should be judged for not wanting to be tied to a job for health insurance. It stifles inventiveness and freedom for people to start small business. It is not the fault of the individual that our nation's health insurance industry is so seriously fucked.
2) "Our insurance doesn't have maternity...we use birth control" veers very close to nasty classism. We hear similar arguments against households who don't have a SAH parent. "Why have a kid so someone else can raise it?" Should people meet a certain income minimum to have children? And what would that minimum be? Should people with disablilities who receive government aid not be allowed to have children? What about the woman who loses her insurance just as she learns she's pregnant?
I bring up these questions because from the outside there are many people who would criticize my choice to get pregnant when I did. No insurance, husband in school, thousands of miles from family, car payments, credit cards, etc...But that's not our whole story. Regardless of our financial situation, reproductive choice is a right that should not be dictated by a corporation's willingness to cover it.
Olivia,
I always appreciate your comments! You are always thoughtful and articulate. Even when you disagree. :-)
My husband DID leave his job regardless of the health insurance. And we are taking full responsibility for that risk. And it is not fun, let me tell you. Where I get upset is when folks make choices, but want others to pay for them. I see too many folks have more children than they can afford, then get upset that they cannot pay for all the things they need. And no, I am absolutely not talking about folks on welfare, disability or other assistance. That is an entirely different topic chock full of issues that I am not prepared to even touch. :-)
Our insurance doesn't have maternity because they would not give it to us. Am I thrilled with that? No, therefore we are very, very careful. Yes, I am judgmental when someone doesn't use birth control, then cries because they cannot afford their baby. We are so fortunate to live in a country with affordable options for reproductive choice. I wish folks were more responsible with it. And no, I don't think any of us have the right to insist that someone else needs to pay for it.
I dunno, I don't have a problem with the dooce thing. Maybe it's because I can't ever yell at strangers (I save it for my nearest and dearest).
Now yes, some people expect ridiculous service or buy a product expecting a performance it's not built to provide. However, there is no reason for a new machine not to be fixed quickly -- seven to ten days for parts? Twice? Insanity!
I went and read the Sundry post (and I don't read Dooce's twitter). I dunno, I guess that I don't think of someone's tweets as their well-considered, long term plans for...anything! It's a perfect set-up for the internet though, making you want to know the back story, wanting to make up your own mind.
I dunno, it just seems like, say, the time he fixed it, it didn't work and parts had to be re-ordered? They should have been expedited and an effort made to get the repair guy back in there the day they arrived.
I mean, that's not unreasonable after an initial visit and a much later follow-up visit didn't solve anything right?
On the other hand, on the money stuff, Amen Sister!
you can however compare circumcision to a male form of castration, imagine if we went around chopping off the hoods to little girls clitorises.... circumcision is cosmetic pure and simple. However when arguing this in the US you run the same risk as the other taboo topics such as Breast is Best, No-CIO, and Co-Sleeping... hooohummm...
I do agree on the customer service..
I also have made great financial sacrifice in my life to be a SAHM, but I never would make dumb decisions.... and I HATE (GRIT TEETH) people who say... boy you sure are LUCKY your a SAHM we could never afford it... right because the 12 year old white jetta 1999 escort and home 100K under our budget were the LUCKY CHOICES we made before kids... grrrrrr
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