Yesterday was one of those days that knocks the wind out of you. I ran into a very old and dear friend from my college crowd (the Indian/Pakistani/Sri Lankan one). The same one that I was a part of while dating Asshole #1. In fact, this friend, R.W., was high school buddies with Asshole #1 back in Pakistan. Anyway, I was walking with a group of friends at the mall and as I passed by a store, I noticed someone waving at me. I instantly realized it was R.W. , told my friends I would meet up with them later and walked into the store (which I found out later he owns). After a good, long hug, we started catching up on our lives while still in amazement at having seen each other - R.W. had the goods on everyone I used to know - even their various relatives. We were all such an extended family in those days that we did know each other’s relatives as well. In fact, when I went to Pakistan in 1993, I visited and stayed with all those families.
The rest of the day was a weird mix of wistfulness and gratefulness. I don’t miss Asshole #1 - not by a long shot. My official definition of love is any situation where the 2 parts thrive together more so than they ever would have alone. That is certainly X and I - that was never, ever Asshole #1 and I. However, I DO miss my friends and it was lovely to hear how they were doing. After I broke up with Asshole #1, I kept in touch with them, but after we all graduated and moved all over the country, it became easier to lose touch and move on with my life. So while I certainly didn’t spend the day pondering “what ifs?”, I can’t deny that dating Asshole #1 led to my current happiness. For one, back in 1989, I met my friend J while she was dating Asshole #1’s roommate. J later introduced me to X in 2000. Also, because of my experiences with my college crowd, I came to know, understand, and love the cultures, foods, languages, and customs of the sub-continent of India. It became a part of who was and I was never able to shake it - much to Asshole #2’s chagrin and frustration because he never understood who I was and what I was about. However, when I met X, we clicked from the beginning and knew early on that it was going to work. X is just Western enough and I am just Indian enough.........
So, yesterday was nice. It was nice to see an old friend and leave the meeting knowing that I am in a fucking good place in my life. It was nice to see an old friend and have no regrets and know that all the pain and frustration of my 20s was worth it because I am with X now. Someone who could not be more perfect for me. And it was also nice to see an old friend and learn that the Indian bitch of a former roommate of mine got finally got what she deserved.
Come on, you didn’t REALLY think I would end this post on a maudlin note, eh?
Sock it to me
He keeps going and going and going.......