August 1, 2005

What's wrong with being a Mommy Blogger after all?

I dedicate this post to Average Jane. This weekend, she not only put up with a sweaty, whiny pregnant chick who can't drive worth shit and was on a constant holy pilgrammage for a bathroom, she even schlepped my baggage for me! Jane, you totally rock and I salute you.

Well, I just got back from BlogHer and it was fabulous! What an inspiring group of extraordinary women. My only regret is that at this point in the pregnancy, I am operating at about 75% capacity. At the end of the day, I just did not have the energy to take advantage of the Mix n’ Mingle cocktail hour. I thought of trying to parlay my 2 useless drink tickets into new friendships, but really couldn’t muster up the social skills for that, either. I am sad about this because I wasted opportunities to really get to know more people. Ah well, there is always next year, right?

One of the topics that spoke most to me was the session about Mommy Bloggers. In the past month, I have started to wonder how the Freeloader is going to figure into my blog. The session really made me think of the issues and concerns regarding Mommy Blogging - I realized I needed to make some decisions as I determine how I am going to incorporate him into my blog. The following questions came to mind as I was flying home last night:

1. Will I reveal his real name? (Answer: Probably yes, because I think his name is KICK ASS and I love it. )

2. Do I worry that some stranger from the Internet will stalk the little Freeloader? (Answer: Probably not - I will resist the strong desire to post my address and phone number on this blog (enter Sarcasm, Stage left --- GOD, it's hard), but much to Fox News' chagrin, I have not fallen for the stranger abduction hysteria. Yes, stranger abductions DO happen and NO, I am not downplaying them, but realistically, most children are more at risk from people they already know. Furthermore, I am more nervous about being carjacked in my local Target parking lot or attacked on my local jogging trail - both of which have a greater likelihood of happening.

3. Will I post pictures? (Answer: Probably yes, because even if my kid is ugly, I will still think he is a Cool Dude. )

4. Will I share amusing and witty tales regarding my little half-Indian progeny?(Answer: Probably yes, because this kid will most likely be the apple of my eye, which of course will BLIND me to any boring qualities that he may possess.)

5. Do I worry that the little Freeloader will be upset by amusing stories involving his misadventures in poo? (Answer: Probably not - while my mom failed in the lessons of Self-Deprecating Humor, my father got his PhD and then went on to teach the damned course. I would hope that I can raise a son with a healthy ability to laugh at himself - if not, well, then he has a long road to hoe in this family and all I can do is offer to help out with his therapy bills. )

So, while previously I was sure that I would never become a Mommy Blogger, I realize now that by sheer virtue of the little Freeloader occupying such a large part of my life, that it would probably be impossible NOT to write a little bit about him. Never say never, but I would not be surprised if I turn out to be a bit of a Mommy Blogger myself. You have been duly warned. At least I have spared ya’ll the gruesome details of the pregnancy - save for a few incontinence situations, but really, I just LOVE the word “incontinence”. It makes me giggle.

Quick Story: On my flight out to San Jose, I noticed the air hostess served pretzels instead of peanuts, but I didn’t think much of it. At our stop (I didn’t have to change planes), I dug around in my suitcase for my cashews - I was getting pretty desperate because I could feel my blood sugar dropping, so I knew I needed a quick fruit and nut snack. I ate my cashews and dried fruit, then put them away. About 5 minutes later, I noticed a gal feeding her child MEDICINE and mumbling something to another passenger about “peanut allergies”. I HAD NO IDEA. I thought if you were allergic to peanuts that was it. Why do they call it a “peanut allergy?” Why don’t they call it a NUT allergy? Anyway, I was moritifed that I had broke out the Kid Killing Cashews, but on the other hand, I would have been majorly screwed had I not eaten the cashews. I was starting to get pretty sick and I was only halfway through the 5 hour journey. In my snack planning for the day, it never occured to me that this would an issue. Jeepers.

In Other News: The Freeloader has discovered my bladder. What’s worse is that my own little Billy Elliott seems to have moved on from his breakdancing routine and into the realm of clogging. Weirdest sensation EVER. God as my witness, if I have to resort to Depends, the little guy is paying for his Ivy League education ALL BY HIMSELF.

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