April 18, 2007

What shade is your own neck?

I've been known to say that not only do X and I fulfill the Ethnic Quotient in our neighborhood, we're taking care of the Whiskey Tango element as well. And what transpired the other night only served to prove my point. When I came home from Stitch n' Bitch on Sunday afternoon and pulled into the driveway, Arun climbed into my lap while I was sitting in the driver's seat and we let him play with the steering wheel etc. Unbeknownst to us, he turned on the headlights. As you can imagine, our battery mounted a rising protest and died - which X discovered later that evening as he was headed out to the gym. He took my car to the gym and picked up some jumper cables on his way back. So, there we are in our driveway, figuring out how to jump the car. Sure, I grew up in Kansas and I've seen lots of guys jump cars, but usually it was in a pasture, near a pond and much beer was involved. I am pretty clueless when it comes to automatic transmissions (I've jumped many a stick shift car by popping the clutch, though). I sat and watched my husband, a metallurgical engineering major (IIT - Madras no less) attempt to ground the cable to a PLASTIC doohickey despite my assurances that was indeed a PLASTIC doohickey. Fortunately, my frantic histrionics convinced him that plastic is not really useful for grounding an electrical current. And where was Arun during all this? In the front yard "sweeping" the lawn with a broom that is easily twice his height. In his pajamas. In the dark. Cuz we're classy like that. As much as I claim to enjoy a fine champagne, foie gras and fancy handbags, the reality is grim. I really just prefer to get drunk while eating mashed goose liver as I am slinging a pretty, overpriced sack of leather.

Dandelion Whine
He was a little pissed that the delicate "flower" he was smelling had no scent. Ahem.

9 comments:

Dee said...

Love that pic! So cute!

Rozanne said...

Every time I need to jump the car (fortunately that's not often), I have to read the instructions on the jumper cables I can't remember what it is you're supposed to do.

B is even worse. He's one of those guys that hates to read instructions, so guess what happened when he tried to jump my car once? A freakin' fire started. I was so terrified, I was ready to just flee and let the car burn/explode and declare the car a dead loss. Through some weird stroke of fate this guy (an urban version of the guys you described) happened to be passing. He screeched to a halt and ran over and somehow put the fire out--then he proceeded to successfully jump our car. So lucky.

Mojavi said...

one night a couple weeks ago I woke up to the news, where we had left the tv on by accident....i awoke to a metal rod being shoved down a ducks neck force feeding them and then throwing the limp animal to the side only to grab another one and do the same thing.... it was so gross I couldn't fall back asleep. It was some documentary on how they are making the duck liver illegal because the treatment is so horrible.. sorry that is what came to my mind when I read your post lol....

Mike said...

OK, the easy guide to jumping: Match the colors, plug them in at the same time on each side. Don't let any of the ends touch each other. You might have to move the plastic doohickeys out of the way.

Disconnect prior to driving away.

Modern Day Hermit said...

Haha, what a good post!

Love the photo!

Diana said...

That picture even makes dandelions look fabulous!

As far as using jumper cables, if something happens to my husband, I'll pitch them and rely on the friendly AAA guys. I figure that's why I send them money each year.

You and X are hilarious!

Lisa said...

Oh that is so funny. I wish we could be neighbors. :-)

Christine said...

Sheesh. You get me all sniffly with the kind words over on Amalah's club mom blog thingy, and then I can't track down an email address for you.

For what it's worth...we're fine here. Me, Paul, Grunion, and Squirrel (due in October).

Jenn said...

What a mental picture I now have LOL