April 7, 2006

Do I work?

This post will end up being the Weekly Wrap Up variety......

Tuesday: X and I declared it to be Babysitter Appreciation Day and we took Cousin J to dinner with us. It was very cute. First, she was a little shocked. Then, she was like “Um, OKAY!”. We took to her to an non-Olive Garden Italian chain where it just happened that her boyfriend works. Therefore, J was able to give us all the gossipy goodness on everyone around us. Once we were all on board as to our server’s sexual appetites, she moved on to the cooks. Ah, gossip as only a high schooler can pass along. I think this is why I like talking to J - it reminds me that while I thought I was such a grown-up as a high schooler, in reality, I was most probably lacking in the “social graces” area, after all. It’s interesting, I had wondered what would happen to my relationship with J once she started babysitting for us. Since we are of different “generations” (J’s mother and I were of the “great-grandchildren” (our grandmothers are sisters) and J is of “great-great grandchildren”), I didn’t really know J - she was just the cute little girl of my cousin B and I would say “hi” and she would shyly say “hi” right back, but that was the extent of our relationship. Now? I find myself really liking her and being frustrated with her situation at home. It’s not a bad one, per se, but she doesn’t get along with her stepdad and that is really bothering me, because I totally understand her frustration, having dealt with a few stepdads in my time. As teenagers are wont to do, she is pushing away from her mother. I also find myself worrying about her future. She admits that she is only doing the minimum amount of work to just get by. Finally, I am REALLY worried about her boyfriend - he’s older than her. So, while I thought for sure that I would get to know J better and that would be nice, I had no freakin’ clue that I would start WORRYING about her. Interestingly enough, X is worried about all these things, too and it was his idea to take her to dinner.

Wednesday Day: I have been going to a breastfeeding support group at the medical center since Arun was 5 weeks old. I have grown to really like the group - it’s like La Leche League Lite. We are all committed to breastfeeding our kids, but it’s not like we will be feeding our kids through the fence during recess when they skip off to kindergarten notthatthereisanythingwrongwiththat . There has gotten to be a core group of us that come nearly every session - it’s a mix of SAHMs and Part-Timers. The one sad thing is that many mothers come and go, because they eventually have to go to work Full-Time. I was bad about getting phone numbers and such, so I have lost touch with those mothers forever. Anyway, this group is really cool - there is no weird competitive bullshit, everyone is pretty easy-going, and it’s fun to hang out with other mothers that have babies around the same age. Also, all of us have professional backgrounds. I realized that I wanted to make a connection with these gals before we stop breastfeeding and thus, quit attending the sessions. Therefore, I started a little side group of my own. On the alternative Wednesdays that the sessions aren’t held, I have organized a walking group (and I always announce it at the breastfeeding support sessions, so that no one is left out). At first, we had to do the mall (BLEH), but now the weather is nicer, we decided to meet at the Deanna Rose Children's Farmstead. I hadn’t been there for nearly 3 years, so I was pretty damned impressed with all the improvements! I will definitely be taking Arun there for walking again and can I just say I can’t WAIT for the flowers to bloom in the butterfly garden? However, the only downside of Deanna Rose is that it gets freakin’ crowded, which defeats the purpose of walking. Particularly when you are organizing your own Buggy Brigade. Therefore, for the next walking session, we decided to start exploring the various trail systems that our county has established. I am pretty excited about this group and I do hope that it becomes something eventually. It is fun to meet the new mothers coming into the breastfeeding pipeline and it's a great way to share experiences. Getting through the first few weeks of breastfeeding was simply one of the hardest things I have ever done. If my going to these meetings to share my experience and lend a kind word helps even just one other new mother, than I am glad.

Wednesday Night: For dinner, I met my ex-coworkers from the Fed, Really Tepid Gal and The Mouth (Quick Backstory:Really Tepid Gal used to be Really Cool Gal until she told my Not So Supervisor that I wasn’t going to be coming back after the baby was born. Like, when I was only 4 months pregnant. The Mouth is the gal who talks. A LOT.) Anyway, it was GREAT to see them. That is, after we dispensed with all the Fed gossip. The problem with the Fed gossip is that it NEVER CHANGES. The cast of characters remains the same because those people never leave. Let me repeat that - THEY NEVER LEAVE. All that ever changes at the Federal Reserve is the script (aka reorganizations) and maybe the stage and sets (the Fed is constructing a new building). Boy, if I ever doubted becoming a SAHM (NOT), dinner with those gals confirmed I made the right decision. I left that dinner shaking my head. When I got home, I gladly wiped my kid’s poo-streaked ass with a SMILE.

Thursday: I spent the day with my friend J. I blogged a bit about J back in January - in short, for those just joining the party, J’s husband died in a pretty gruesome car wreck. They have 2 children ages 2 and 4. I have tried my best to see J and spend time with her. It never feels like enough, but you do what you can do, eh? Overall, J is doing great. She has shown such a strength of character as she puts one foot in front of the other to rebuild her life. However, sometimes it can be a bit stressful because frankly, J’s and my parenting styles are very, very different. I am not going to go into details because it’s not about “wrong vs. right”, it’s just about different expectations. However, those expectations are different enough that sometimes my stomach hurts. Also, after we spend time together, I find myself very angry - not at anything in particular but just the whole unfairness of it all. I am angry that her children won’t know their father. I am angry that my friend is left by herself. I am angry that I can’t really do anything for her but listen. But at least I can do that.

Friday: Oh, glorious Friday. Oddly enough, even though I don’t “work” (hahaha - see my joke? See it? SEE IT?), my days still follow a pattern of Weekday and Weekends. In part, this is because of X’s schedule and also, because I try to do all the “work” I do on the Weekdays and leave the Weekends for fun stuff (Read: I stick the kid in the crib on the Weekends and just leave him to fester in shitty diapers.) Anyway, we have no plans today and it is nice to have a day stretching out before me that is free of obligation.

Next Week's Preview: Careful with that Axe, Cagey

Have a great weekend!

Bonus Simian Snap:

This pic is actually pretty old - when pillows could still contain him. May I point out all the safety hazards?

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