September 12, 2005

Grease. It does a body good??

My Own Damned Shrieking Shack: The weekend was pretty peaceful. X came in early Saturday and doesn’t leave until Tuesday. It’s long enough of a stay where he heads back out again just as I have grown weary of the Trail of Crep he leaves in his wake as he meanders through the house. I maintain that there is no shriller shriek than that of a pregnant chick stubbing her toe on a suitcase that mysteriously landed in the middle of her living room.

The Legend of the Grange Pup: I went to our county’s Old Settler parade this weekend with my dad. It was so cool to just hang out with him by myself - we rarely get time with just the two of us. My dad is such a history buff that any outing with him turns into a history lesson - regardless if you want it or not. This parade, I learned that my grandma’s family didn’t come to this town in the 1910s, like I had always thought, but actually came in the 1860s. Unfortunately, longevity doesn’t always equal posterity - our family name could hardly be thought illustrious since my great-grandpa and his 4 brothers were what could only be considered as the “town drunks”.* I also learned that Old Settler’s LITERALLY used to be an “old settler’s” gathering. All the original settler’s of the town would gather annually in the town center square, people who had moved away would come back to visit, and they would all bring a covered dish. Finally, I always get the Legend of the Grange Pup (a long diatribe from my dad at how he has eaten one every year of his life from when he could eat solid foods, except for the few years he lived in Boston and Vietnam, he recounts bitterly - more so for the fact that he missed out on Grange Pups!). Anyway, a Grange Pup is basically a corn dog, but the batter is a long-held secret by the folks, Kansas State Grange , that make them. They are heaven on a stick. I declared this to be the best parade EVER because since I am pregnant, I let myself have TWO. Poor little Freeloader - he didn’t move around that much the rest of the day - I guess he couldn’t get his legs and arms moving against the tidal wave of grease that surely came his way. It was a great day - much like a balm for the soul, a little. We did the exact same routine as last year (parade, Grange Pups, car show) and there IS something soothing about that. Even BeelzeBush can’t ruin THIS, surely.

At Least My Baby Daddy Has a Job and Can Keep His Pants Hiked Up: I am so sick of the glorification of Britney Spears and her FederFetus. It’s bad enough that she is stealing my glory but I would be horrified if the Freeloader and FederFetus end up sharing the same birthday. There is something wholy disconcerting about the entire concept of being in labor at the same time as her.

New Rule: I must limit the time I spend listening to Bill Maher’s newest book New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer - I start giggling so hard that Braxton Hicks keeps rearing his ugly head even more so than usual - I think I am only allowed like 5 contractions per hour at this point. If you like Bill Maher and you like his New Rule segment on his excellent show HBO show, you would definitely LOVE this book. I purchased mine via the iTunes store which was scary easy.

I Wanna iPod Until iPop: I want the new iPod nano so bad it hurts. I even dreamed about it last night. I have the Shuffle and earlier this year even traded in my 1st Gen iPod for the newest Gen iPod. What is wrong with me? If I didn’t know better, I would think I was just a Greedy Gut instead of a mere Gadget Junkie. Good grief.

*This is the same great-grandpa that was a bootlegger during the Prohibition. Something that while I think is very cool, my grandma is STILL ashamed of it and will rarely speak of it to this day. History is truly in the eye of the beholder, eh?

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