September 19, 2005

Do you really want to hear me wax poetic on the joys of being unemployed??

These are the days when I fear for the future of this blog. I haven’t got much to write about and am not feeling very witty today. Unfortunately, being extremely gratified and contented with your Life Situation does NOT make for exciting posts. My new position as Trophy Wife and Purveyor of Food is actually very emotionally satisfying. Seriously!! sigh

Freeloader Update: I had a doctor’s appointment this morning. Total weight gain? 19 lbs. Not bad! Particularly in light of the fact that I have 4-5 weeks to go AND I just got weighed after TWO pastry-laden weekends. Cinnamon rolls from Napolean’s have been my breakfast du jour as of late, so 19 lbs. ROCKS in my book and nearly qualifies as a tiny miracle. I have been craving sweets for the past few weeks and that is ODD. My usual culinary desires range in the venues of Mexican and Indian (Read: SPICY). Anyway, not much else happened in doctor’s appointment - besides focusing on ME, we actually discussed the little Freeloader. We will be circumcising the little guy (yes, it’s primarily cosmetic, but so are braces. We might even cut his hair, too! GASP.) and we will be doing vaccinations (Rancid Tangent: Frankly, I think NOT doing vaccinations is unconscionable from a public health and safety factor. I had a classmate in 2nd grade DIE from chickenpox, so don’t bother trying to convince me vaccines are bad.) Finally, my doctor started the “fun process” of checking me for dilation. I’ll leave it at that - those of you NOT in the know, don’t WANT to know (believe me) and those of you IN the know, ALREADY know and don’t need an explanation. Nothing much is going on down there and the Freeloader is securely encamped in his Kiddie Condo and appears to be working on building an additional wing. That’s fine - I have so much to DO (books to read, TV shows to watch, a play to see) that I am fine if he keeps hanging out. I am drawing the line at high speed Internet, though. He can wait til October.

This Ain't No MTV Crib, either: Our crib has not arrived, my due date is less than 4 weeks away and oddly, I am not stressed. I AM irritated, though because we paid for the damned thing! I can rest assured my kid already has a place to sleep, but it pisses me off that I shelled out money for something back in JULY that I haven't yet received.

Kid Free Zone Violation: Friday ended up getting totally wiped out - a friend of mine who lives in another town had car trouble while in Kansas City, so she needed to hang out at my house while her car got some emergency repairs. Therefore, I spent the entire day with this friend and her 2 kids (ages 4 and 1.5). OMIGOD. By the end of the day, I was left wondering “What the FUCK was I thinking?” - and HER KIDS WERE GOOD. They weren’t bratty in the least and were just very, very busy. I think the worst is that my friend doesn’t as much baby talk as much as holds ENTIRE CONVERSATIONS in baby talk. It was very distressing. Fortunately, the perfect antidote was a lovely breakfast the next day with Goofy Girl and Goofy Junior. It was like a soothing balm to the soul to see that yes, toddlers can handle situations without being given a “Baby Code word” for everything. So, in the end, I guess I can handle a Freeloader after all.

Knit Wit: I haven’t taken a knitting class since early February during my first trimester. It seemed only fitting to take one in my LAST trimester. I decided to take a sock class. YES, I realize Target sells socks quite cheaply and NO, I don’t plan on knitting a bunch of socks. I did want to learn the techniques and skills used in knitting socks, though. Some people in the Knitting Community are just CRAZY about knitting socks and I wanted to see what the big deal was. So far, I only have about 1.5 inches knitted - I will post a picture when I get more progress done. Finally, this week, I am seaming the damned sweater together. I knitted all the pieces of a sweater together in FEBRUARY before morning sickness took over - I just need to sew it together. While knitting the actual sweater was not painful, this gross procrastination of FINISHING it has made me realize I am just not a Sweater Knitter.

Rancid Review: This week is Fall 2005 TV Premiere week and since there is so very little else going on in my life right now, I am taking it upon myself to review some of the shows coming out. I did some careful reviewing of magazines and websites to see what was worth checking out first (I don’t have THAT much free time!) Let’s see if you agree. I did catch The Showbiz Show with David Spade (Thursdays, 9:30pm CDT). In short, if you liked Spade’s “Hollywood Minute” skit on Saturday Night Live OR you enjoy some witty celebrity snarking, you can just stop reading here. WATCH THIS SHOW. I had reasonable expectations for this show and they were met. The program starts off very much like the “Hollywood Minute” spots with just the news briefs. The rest of the show is filled with fake trailers for real movies, fake public service announcements titled “What You Should Know” delivered by the likes of Rob Lowe (HILARIOUS), and other “news-like” segments. Definitely worth checking out. This has made my Regular Recordings on the DVR and I give it 4 out of 5 Rancid Sheep.

Doesn’t He Learn?: So far, the Drunken North Side Neighbor (DNSN) has not complained about our cat Harry straying into our yard. She has even gone as far as to WAVE all friendly-like when I see her now. Not sure if 1) Harry is avoiding her yard or 2) DNSN doesn’t remember our little episode a few months back. or 3) DNSN is afraid yet again to confront us. According to the Previous Owner of our house, the DNSN’s Drinking Night is on Tuesdays and therefore, I try to keep Harry inside for as long as possible on those nights. I am relieved so far that it seems to be working. However, one thing I wish Harry WOULD learn is that he does NOT get to come into the house to enjoy his little “treats” he happens to catch. While I am perfectly fine with his hunting skills, it is still a bit disconcerting when I go to the front door and it looks he has sprouted little rodent legs from his mouth.

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