Can't we all just get along?

First, New Orleans: I haven’t posted lately because I had nothing of value to add with this whole New Orleans disaster. It is incredibly sad and frustrating that much of the media is focusing on the Blame Game at this point. Yeah, let’s just point fingers instead of coming up with realistic plans to get the people out of there. THAT’S helpful. Who is to blame? Of course, FEMA, BeelzeBush - the usual suspects. I think we also need to look at the mayor, the governor, the city itself that chose to ignore the looming problem and ultimately the people themselves that are SHOOTING AT RESCUE WORKERS. HUH? THAT, I don’t get. Someone is coming in to help you and you SHOOT AT THEM? The whole thing is incredibly depressing - the disaster itself AND the reactions of everyone involved. That, and of course, the very thought that we can live in a country like America and still be utterly abandoned like those people were. Truly distressing.

Oops, He Did it Again: GOOD GOD, BeelzeBush gets to nominate ANOTHER Supreme Court Justice? This and the New Orleans/FEMA fiasco so close together brought me to tears yesterday (Confession: Big Lie - I was tearful all last week) It’s days like these that India looks better and better.

Okay, enough ranting and now back to our originally scheduled programming titled "The Trite Details of My Meaningless, Over-Priviliged Life...........

I dedicate this Labor Day post to the little Freeloader - the apple of my eye, the sworn enemy of my bladder. I love you, little guy!

Where We Go Through The Laborious Process of Childbirth Prep 101: X and I went to a Childbirth prep class on Saturday ALL DAY LONG. 2,486 “hee hees” and 3,564 “haw haws” later, I think we have come to the conclusion we ARE HAVING A BABY. It’s one thing to stack diapers, wash adorable miniature outfits and stock up on baby wipes. It’s another thing to MIMIC LABOR. I think it hit home for X, as well. We are usually reticent in the Public Displays of Affection department, but even he was Mr. Snuggly all day and now he is Mr. Be Careful whenever I do anything. Furthermore, I had a weird flashbolt of understanding at the beginning of class. As the teacher was explaining different methods for pain management and relaxation, I realized I have used those very methods for over 20 years. Who knew that years of orthodontia would have prepared me for this? I honed the fine art of “focal points” and relaxation breathing in high school while trapped for hours in Dr. Brown’s Chair of Evil. I STILL remember exactly the zig zag details of the wallpaper. Will labor be worse than orthodontia? OF COURSE, but it’s comforting to know that I am already familiar with some tools to help me through the process.

Where We Decide What to Do-ula: We are considering hiring a doula. At this point, it will only be X and I in the labor room. We are ON OUR OWN, folks! X has finally accepted the fact that my mother will not be a help during this process. During my own sister’s labor, my sister reported that my mother “sat in a corner and looked upset the whole time.” I do NOT need THAT and therefore, my mother will be in the lobby. I am leaning towards not doing the doula. Truth be known, I have my eye on getting a new wardrobe in the future. Women have been giving birth for millenia without doulas and I am confident that I can, too. However, I love X all the more for suggesting it and trying to talk me into it.

Where I Redeem MYSELF: The Junk Room/Baby Room is now officially a Baby Junk Room! Meaning: All the stuff in the room is the BABY’S junk! Yippee! I did break down and decorate a little bit- we have coordinated wall hangings, window valance and a matching lamp. Once we set up the crib (it arrives in 2-3 weeks), we are DONE.

Where She Just Can’t Get it Through Her Head: Even now, as I mix my pomegrante-mango juice with Perrier, I can’t help but think “Damn, a shot of vodka would top this off quite nicely.”

Where I’m My Own Paparazzi: As a reward for buying the Ridiculous TV, the store gave us a rebate in the form of store coupons. Since electronic stores don’t sell anything baby-useful such as diapers, strollers, etc, it necessitated my buying another Adult Toy for myself. DAMN, eh? POOR ME. So, I carefully researched digital camcorders, found an acceptable one that the coupons could buy, and of course, went OVER. It irked me that a freakin’ BAG and firewire cable weren’t included - they always GET YOU. Anyway, I have had several people ask if we will be recording the little Freeloader’s arrival. Um, let it be known that Jesus didn’t record HIS miracles and I certainly won’t be recording MINE.

Amen.