A New Machine (Part 1)

Pink Floyd, A Momentary Lapse of Reason 1987

Officially, every person in our household now has a computer.  Manoj happened across a small computer for free and he is rebuilding it over the weekend for Anjali.  Yes, we are Those People whose kids learn how to type their names before they can write them.  Judge amongst yourselves.

In other news, my Kindle hath taketh over.  Since Valentine's Day, I have read nearly 8 books, one of which was a heavy book made from heavy paper and oh my god, it was HEAVY.  And it took me forever to read that book because I actually had to carry it.  Did I mention the "heavy" part"?  Cramped hands.....paper cuts..... tragic

Furthermore, I am officially afflicted with KISS - Kindle Impulse Spending Syndrome.  There is no known cure other than a firm predilection for self-denial.  Ah, KISS!  Hop on over to the Kindle Store.  Find a book.  Click once and that book is Whisper-netted right to your device within seconds. Que magnifique!  Oh sure, this is Awesome when you are looking for something specific.  However, this is Not So Awesome when you are bored on a Friday night while enjoying a glass of wine (or two) (Stop with the judging.)  (I can HEAR  you.)

Additionally, KISS has a grave complication whereby the Kindle inexplicably allows you to read faster. I am reading even more books than before.   I have yet to solve this conundrum - does the Kindle transport me into some alternate reading universe where time wrinkles faster than my grandma??  Anyway, this time warp has gotten Tony Soprano Serious because effectively, it means I NEED MORE BOOKS. Now!  Before my Kindle gets all Marine Corp over my reading ass. Hurry! Hurry! Those books won't Whisper-net themselves, you idiot.

None of this was helped by the fact that I found a new author obsession on Saturday.  I read Dennis Lehane's Shutter Island over the weekend and am now on Mystic Island.  He also has a PI series that looks intriguing.  When I fire up the Kindle Store now, my modem yawns and says "You?  Again?"

In conclusion: I have officially Whisper-netted myself into what will surely be an interesting conversation with my husband when the next credit card statement arrives.

Do you care?

UPDATED: Commenter D. Jain point out that Max Factor is pulling out the US market. Which leaves me to wonder - What the HELL was the huge campaign all about then?? That's crazy. And now? I must find a new mascara. Obviously, I am open to suggestions. Excuse me, I need to go have a good cry.

My friend J grew up in the South - the region of the United States where the women folk take their hair and makeup quite seriously. She also has eyelashes like a giraffe. Way back in the 90s, knowing that J would have the Correct Answer, I asked her for advice on mascara. Her immediate answer was Max Factor's 2000 Calorie. And that is what I have been buying ever since. End of story, no? No. Target, my usual purveyor of makeup does not carry Max Factor, which means I have to scurry over to the Scary Wal-Mart when I run out. I hate Scary Wal-Mart and often cannot justify navigating its Scary Aisles just for a single tube of mascara. I am then reduced to taking a gamble and trying a new mascara, which invariably turns out to be a clumpy clunker.

I am very, very picky about mascara because my eyelashes are a tangled mess without an eyelash curler and a good mascara.

Anyway. After reading all the rave reviews about the new 2000 Calorie Lash Plumper Upper Thingie (and entering every! single! giveaway even though I rarely enter giveaways but hey, what the hell is this?? Two kids napping? A free Friday afternoon?), I picked up a tube at the Scary Wal-Mart this past weekend. Truthfully? I did not notice any new lash plumping capabilities. Perhaps, while waiting on the production line, my own tube reconsidered and said "No thanks. I'm good, yo." and then skipped its turn for a squirt of the Extra Magical Lash Plumping Potion??

Still. 2000 Calorie is the same damned good product I have been using for years and I was actually relieved that Max Factor had, after all, decided not to mess around with one of my favorite makeup products. I do despise the new packaging, though. The tube is HUGE and FAT and CURVED all wonky-like which means that it does not store well now in my cup of brushes, etc. Sure, it stands on its end. Quietly waiting for me to knock it over.
--------------------------

Whoa.

Do you see what I just did there? I wrote a review (sorta.) For a product for which I paid (cash!)

You may have noticed, but I do talk a bit about products and other consumables around here. Why? I like to read reviews myself - if someone has purchased something and has had a good or bad experience with it, I do not mind hearing about it. Also, for some products, it is hard to get an opinion, which is why I wrote a smallish bit about the Kids Fly Safe seatbelt system for flying. Dude - those things were expensive at $75 a pop. But they were worth it and I felt that should be noted.

Maybe my 3 loyal readers do not want me writing about the stuff I buy. Eh. Whatever. If it fits into my personal content or the story overall, I will mention it - which is why I mentioned the mascara, as an example. Otherwise, I probably would not have written about the mascara because makeup and girly things are not my usual topics around here and it would not have fit. But truthfully? I do not mind reading others' consumer experiences as well. After all, chances are that if I read your blog, I trust your opinion.

But, I do want to be upfront and as such, have recently added a bit about this on my Multiple Personalities section:
I like to talk about books and other sundry items around here. Let me be clear: Any and all products discussed here on Rancid Raves are things that I purchased myself with my very own grubby paws. I paid money for these items. I have a review site, Queen of the Free Bees for any products that I have received expressly for the purpose of reviewing.

There has been some talk surrounding this while I was out of town (which is why I am addressing all of this so late in the game. I am a sleepy sheep.) In this vein, Lindsey Ferrar of Suburban Turmoil has some great points regarding this (Part 1 and Part 2.)
In Part 1, she writes:
As a reader, I feel like that blogger has crossed a line, particularly if she's a mom blogger. If she is telling personal stories about her family, as a reader I don't want product reviews and sponsored posts woven throughout that written history. It feels exploitative. It feels wrong.

And my feelings as a reader of blogs are what made me decide as a blogger to start a separate review blog (and for that matter, what kept me from putting ads in between posts, as opposed to keeping them in my sidebar). I tried doing a few book reviews on this blog and they just didn't feel right, sandwiched between posts about my struggles with breastfeeding and pictures of my children.

In Part 2, she writes:
What you decide to do with your blog does not affect how I feel about you as a person. We can meet for lunch when we're in the same town, or drink martinis at Disney, or eat cheeseburgers together at BlogHer, or tell each other all our secrets, or chat online every single day.

What you decide to do with your blog does affect whether or not I want to read it.

And that's what my post was about. No hidden meanings. No innuendo. Just. That.

Lindsey has some great points. I can think of 3 bloggers off the top of my head that I simply had to quit reading because I could not sift through all the reviews and sponsored posts any longer. But I bear no ill will. I could really care less. Oh sure, I really do miss one of the bloggers in question. I still periodically check her site to see if she has pared down on all the giveaways, reviews and sponsored posts. When/if she ever does, I may add her back to my feed reader because I really enjoyed reading her perspectives on family life, entertainment and current news. I just did not have the time to sift through the rest of it. That was all. No hard feelings.

But really? Overall? I could care less if folks do ads, reviews, sponsored posts, exorcisms on their blogs. I can always stop reading. Me personally? I like having a separate review site - it is a clear line of distinction for myself. If I do decide to discontinue ads, I would still keep a review site, for whenever the God of Freebies determines I am worthy (Sidenote: I never get offers. The chances of this are slim to none.)

So.

To recap, when I mention products on Rancid Raves, I have forked over my own piece of plastic for it. If I have received something free for review, I will write about it on my review site, Queen of the Free Bees. Considering there are a total of 3 reviews over there, it is obvious how how far down on the Totem Pole of Freebies I hang.

Oh, and don't forget to pick up a tube of Max Factor's 2000 Calorie mascara. You will not regret it.

How did the Twinkie get pregnant?

If you do not know the answer, boy oh boy, have you been missing out. Although, truth be known, I was really more of a Ho Ho kinda gal -- Ding Dings just never quite hit my sweet spot. But a Twinkie? A little piece of hydrogenated sponged heaven.

Where am I going with this?

*DeepBreath*

At the risk of alienating an entire geographic region from this wee site, I must confess that I am not a big fan of TastyKakes. I have tried. Oh my, how I have tried. Furthermore, Mojavi may ban me from her social circle now. But really - TastyKakes? The cakes are a bit dry and the creams are too sweet and not very flavorful. Little Debbie? For reals, that little harpie knows how to do cream fillings. And nothing matches Hostess in terms of moist cakes.

So, in conclusion, I do not like TastyKakes. I give up. I hope Hostess and Little Debbie will allow my wandering eye back into their good graces.

There. I said it.

Do Chinese folks get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?

Regarding the Sleep is for the Weak giveaway, commenter Mary has won! The drawing was highly scientific - I cut little sheets of papers with names and Arun drew one. Mary, please email me your info (cagey333ATgmailDOTCOM). (Also, do NOT ask Haley if she has received HER giveaway yet. Gulp.)

Regarding the book, Rita and I are doing a Sleep is for the Weak book signing at the Barnes and Noble on the Plaza here in Kansas City. It starts at 6:00pm. Please, oh please come to see us so that we do not look like two assholes wielding a box of Sharpies just hanging out at an empty table. Or something like that. Otherwise, we will have to put all those Sharpies to good use giving each other tramp tats (Although, I should warn Rita, I totally have dibs on The Hungry Little Caterpillar tat. Oh, sister.)

Okay. So...... This is one of those days when I actually wish I was a Power Blogger. But not for what you would think. You see, I am on the hunt for Legos for Arun's birthday. He has already requested a rocket ship and that will soon be ordered. However, I was also thinking he would enjoy some Legos. Lately, I have noticed that the Mega Blocks are maybe not enough and that he really needs something a little more versatile. He is having fun with the Mega Blocks making "chickens", "rockets", "telescopes", "trains" and "cameras". His little imagination is taking off and I would like to encourage that.

So, I began by looking at the Legos website and good gravy. My head exploded. The variety, the choices, the decisions. What the hell are the Duplos? They are supposed to be for Arun's age groups, but what is the difference with them? However, Arun has really good fine motor skills, so I think he could handle the regular ones. I am confused.

Now, if I was a Power Blogger, I could post this question and within a few minutes have over a hundred comments telling me what to buy, where to buy, how to buy and when to buy these damned plastic pieces. So, here I go. Blatant begging. I am a Lego Virgin, I did not really have a set growing up and have little to no experience with Legos. The Lego website sucks and is not very helpful. What, oh what do I buy?

And yes, I am absolutely looking forward to crunching my feet on those little plastic bastards in the middle of the night. Totally.

Who's counting?

Four years ago, I published my very first post on this wee blog. The most accurate way to re-cap the past four years?

It has been fun.

That's all. Although, to indulge my Inner Maudlin, I will say this: I had no idea that writing would become such a creative, cathartic outlet for me - I was merely jumping on a bandwagon that looked entertaining (hence, the subtitle "The Outdated Drivel of a Pop Culture Sheep".) I also love, love play on words and the oft-scorned writing technique of alliteration, which led to the blog title "Rancid Raves" (aka Rants and Raves.) A special thanks goes to Average Jane and Surrender, Dorothy. Your forays into the Blogosphere inspired me to begin my own and I am forever grateful that I began blogging.

To this day, my favorite posts are the ones celebrating my children's milestone birthdays (Arun's six month and one year posts. Then, just last month, Anjali's first year post.) I hope they appreciate my humor someday and end up with that important ability to laugh at themselves. For truly, if they cannot laugh at themselves, they cannot laugh at others. That is the Golden Rule, is it not?

To celebrate, I am taking a page from Caro's book and requesting that you leave me a gift. What is a favorite post of yours from your own site? I have been the recipient of some thoughtful Linky Love this past week, now it is your turn.

What's the Big Idea?

Since some of you have already received my thoughtfully worded spam, you are aware that X has launched Phase 1 of the Big Idea. It is official.

It is a site called FoodieBytes and it is really, really cool and holy crap, this is only Phase 1. There is still more to come. My only complaint is that Kansas City is not one of the featured cities - currently, this is for those lucky folks in DC, San Francisco, Chicago, NYC, and Boston. Grrrrrr...

Okay, what the hell is FoodieBytes, you ask? The site is a unique place where you can find new restaurants serving your usual favorites. Let me give an example: When I am in Chicago, I like to eat at Sabri Nihari on Devon street. But what if I wanted to find a new place the next time I am in town or what if I did not have time to get over to Devon street for my nihari fix? I can use the FoodieBytes site to do a search on nihari and find a new place. Otherwise, I am stuck calling random Indian restaurants until I find one that serves nihari and I would have to figure out myself whether it was conveniently located to me or not. FoodieBytes provides the maps and everything.

Please check out the site and feel free to either comment here or email me at cagey333ATgmailDOTcom. I would really appreciate any of your comments, questions or criticisms on anything from the site design to the site functionality.

I feel the need to apologize in advance as I totally whore out my blog the next few days for the cause that is the Big Idea. Also, because I am a crazy woman, I agree to do the FoodieBytes blog.

Hold me.

Dude, where are my TV shows?

Whoa. Last night, I actually got to watch a television show LIVE. You see, most shows get watched on the DVR and sometimes even a few weeks late. For example, I caught up on Chuck over the weekend and watched THREE weeks' worth of episodes. Anyway, I watched The Amazing Race last night and have to say that I am pretty psyched about this season. For starters, the teams are so diverse and different from each other that you could actually keep track of them. My favorites are the Ministers, the Goths and Brother/Sister Engineering duo (Azaria/Hennkedea?) I was even disappointed in the team that lost, I had looked forward to getting to see them.

While I am on the topic of TV, my little schedule quickly fell apart. On top of my usual routine, I could not keep up with all the new shows. Most were abandoned after two episodes or not even caught at all - literally it was Samantha Who? in our house and Aliens in America were not granted visas. The only new shows to survive the fallout were Reaper, Chuck, Dirty Sexy Money and Pushing Daisies. Oh, and Back to You, which is on the edge of being deleted.

Of course, none of this may matter since the WGA strike is on. Alan Sepinwall has a great primer on what the writer's strike will mean to those of that have a slight addiction to TV. Sob. Alan also provides a great link to the LA Times grid that shows exactly how your favorite shows will be affected by the WGA strike. Again, with the sobbing.

However, I will say that I do not blame the writers for striking.

What the hell is a Conchord?

Do I get extra credit for two posts in one day? A Get out of Jail Free card, perhaps? No? Anyway.....

Oh My God.

The Flight of the Conchords is coming out on DVD. Tuesday. Where the hell have I been that I missed this momentous occasion???

You see, the Flight of the Conchords played a special part in my labor with Anjali's birth. After the stressful morning of misunderstanding that my inducement was to be the evening and not in the morning, X and I were out of sorts. We went for some Persian buffet for lunch, put Arun down for a nap and settled into catching up on our HBO lineup from the night before. While watching the Flight of the Conchords, my labor pains began. It is SO painful to giggle while having a contraction. I will never, ever forget that weird sensation because holy crap, the Conchords are THAT funny that you cannot stop giggling even when a contraction begins. Furthermore, when I came home after Anjali's birth and was still recovering from the Baby Birthin' , I still had a hard time watching them because all the giggling made my girly business hurt.

So, yes. I must own this DVD set. The memories, people.

The memories.

Has the world gone mad?

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World: I just adore March Madness. As a SAHM, I consider it a special perk that comes with the job in which I get to sit at home and watch the games all day (Arun will have to wait until next week to find out the thrilling conclusion to the game of "1...2....3....???"). Too bad I can't have beer, though. My tourney brackets are all submitted to the pool I am in - this year, I merely selected teams I liked. In the past, I would carefully peruse what all the sportscasters had to say, but this year, I didn't have the time or inclination. It's just fun to play, I most certainly will not win and in the end, it doesn't matter. Doing a bracket just makes it more enjoyable to watch - particular the first few rounds. I did select KU to go all the way - I couldn't help myself.

Online Book Club: I have NOT forgotten about this! I am putting together a list of 3-4 books to vote on and will give a 6 week lead time for reading. Then, we can discuss Round Robin style in the comments. I am definitely open to suggestions - I am currently thinking of The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf, but need other suggestions for voting on.

One, Two, Buckle My Shoe: Thanks for all the comments about the floor. I should have mentioned that I had already spoken to my insurance agent. We are going to see what the extent of the damage is before starting any sort of claim. For our company, once a claim is started, it counts.

The Name Game: Regarding the whole "my kid has an odd, uneek name" thing - I do not get frustrated, angry or insulted when people don't get Arun's name right away or don't know it right off-hand. I don't expect people to automatically know how to pronounce his name. What I get upset about are the squinty-eyed looks and the inability for folks to listen. It's a very simple name with only 2 syllables - both of which exist in the English language. And I always take the time to carefully pronounce both syllables - "ahhh-roooon" because I realize it is a different name for most folks.

Paying It Forward: Today, I am going to pass around some Linky Love. I've been the beneficiary of some awesome Linky Love myself these past few months - it's time to pass the Love around. My blogroll is a very, very small subset of the blogs I enjoy. I tend not to update the Blogroll for various reasons. For one, if I find that I no longer have a connection with a blogger or need to pare my list down, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. The blogroll thing can get so political and I do hate to hurt people's feelings. This is the primary reason why I keep the blogroll so small. If you're not on it, it doesn't really mean anything and is most likely just a factor of how lazy I am about updating my sidebar. However, I am reading some really awesome blogs and feel like I should be spreading the word. Blogs are viral and I have found some awesome blogs (and even new BFFs) via the blogroll thingie.

Anyway, enjoy - and feel free to leave some of your own favorites in the comments or on your own blog!
Cakerwakers - I got hooked on this blog from the start. I really relate to so many of her experiences as a new mother and especially, her relationship with her own mother.

Md. Macaca - This is such a fun blog - she is constantly bringing up fun topics to ponder and discuss. Currently, she is talking about her favorite children's books. Earlier this week, she discussed Eastern marriages vs. Western marriages. Why are you still here? Go check her out!

Indexed - OMIGOD, this is one of my very favorite new sites and I may have to totally do the archives. This blogger does a variety of graphs, ven diagrams, charts - all to hilarious effect. Brings back all the haunting memories from my statistics classes.

Lakelines - I think we're still friends even after my professed love for foie gras and veal. Right?

Meno's Blog - I really enjoy this blog for all the little "slice of life" observations. Damn, she must be older than the hills, though since she's retired and all. (Hint: She's NOT.)

Metalia - Had the courage to admit she's afraid of Oprah. Gotta love that.

Ms. Congeniality - Another great "slice of life" blogger. Her food list today cracked me up! Mangos? Really??

Mommy Tracks - A lawyer on the partner track goes off-roading on the mommy track after giving birth to 3 children in 4 years. Hilarity ensues.

Multiply Life by the Power of Three: She has done some great introspective posts. Plus, I think I may have discovered Arun's doppelganger.

Am only partway through my Bloglines list - will continue next week.

What's wrong with veal? Isn't a filet mignon just giving the cow false hope anyway?

I totally neglected to include "nasty headcold" in my Litany of Woes from last week. Seriously, it was the scrumptious buttercream frosting on the shitcake that was baked in my honor. I am mostly over the cold now, but yet again, much like the last cold I just recovered from, I am now left with absolutely no accurate sense of smell. This could be considered a distinct advantage in some social circles considering the rodent carcass that is mummifying in my chimney as we speak. I have to say, this whole "decreased immunity thing" during pregnancy is kicking my ass - it makes it so much harder to get over a common cold, I can't imagine how it would be for some gals who face serious illnesses. Sure, I know my decreased immunity serves a purpose to protect NewKid, but DUDE, this is my THIRD cold this season. Normally, I get one, maybe two colds in a really bad season, but THREE? Bah.

Despite the crappy week, it actually ended quite well. On Friday, my mom came to babysit Arun so that X and I could go out for a fabulously Ridiculous meal at Cassis. We celebrated a belated Valentine's day and tacked on X's birthday to boot. I don't know what your version of "comfort food" is, but mine includes chilled foie gras with a pear confit, a veal chop with leeks and potatoes capped with a champagne mousse and a creme brulee sampler. YUM.

In a lame attempt to show my patriotism, I made an honest effort to watch the Oscars. I lasted until about 7:55pm, then gave up and got to work cleaning the house, then I tuned in again right around 10:00pm... snore..... X was on the Innernet while I was puttering around, so he kept me abreast on the happenings. I am recording it and will read the reviews tomorrow. If anything stellar happens (streaking, backflips), I'll bother watching it then so I can fast forward to the good parts. Life is too short to endure poor stand-up routines, mediocre musical numbers and overblown, overdressed egos. The best part was An Inconvenient Truth being voted in by a crowd that mostly arrived in Environment Killing Machines. As much as I don't care for watching the Oscars live, I'll definitely be gunning for the magazine racks when they release their Oscar Special Issues. I'm not the Tinman, after all.

Isn't it lovely?

One of my favorite sites, Throwing Things, gave me some lovely linkity love yesterday. At first, I was positively thrilled - I mean, when a site that you've admired from afar for so very long (nearly 4 years now) acknowledges that you share space in the blogosphere, you get a little excited. Then, you realize that your big day in the sun links all those nice folks directly to a post you've just recently written about a squirrel in your chimney. A post replete with foul language. Go me! I'm too sexy for this blog now.

Anyway, my favorite Throwing Things story is this:
I went to a book signing that featured the lovely Jennifer Weiner, who also happens to be the wife of Adam Bonin, one of the co-founders of Throwing Things (his solo blog is what I actually started reading first). So, I wait in line for my book to be signed and when my big turn comes, what do I do? I get all breathlessly fangirl on her about Throwing Things. Yep, her husband's blog. I then get more freaky on her by trying to convince her that YES, her and Adam should totally try out for the Amazing Race. Totally! Anyway, I think my friend that came to the book signing with me was more than a little embarrassed. But I'll bet Jennifer didn't sign her book with a heart. Ha!

Anyway, I have a doctor's appointment today - my 20 week appointment. Be sure to check back later for such thrilling updates on things like heartrates, urine tests, measurements, and weight gain because OMIGOD, the excitement never ends. I can't believe I am already halfway there with NewKid. With Arun, at the 20 week mark I was thinking more along the lines of "I'm only halfway there." This gestation is just flying right by. Whee.