If Wile Coyote already had money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy his dinner?

First: We do not celebrate National Turn Off Week around here. Who the hell came up with such an idea as turning off one's television for an entire week??? Such tomfoolery would require that I actually pay attention to my kids. Hell's bells, I gestated them each for well over 9 months, gave birth to them, then allowed non-stop suckling at my breast. What more do these kids want from me? Besides, I am a mommyblogger. I am far too preoccupied with pimping my children's eternal souls than to have time for them.

Second: Last week, Dee from Voices in My Mind came over with her kiddos, Zach and Evie. Boy, nothing says "Hey, I cleaned Just!For!You!" like fresh vacuum tracks on your carpet. No? Sadly, the rest of the house was simply trashed. I blamed it on the prep work for the garage sale, but truthfully, the house always looks like a garage sale is in progress. *shrug* Anyway, I was very sad that I did not get to snuggle Dee's squeaky newborn daughter and instead had to look wistfully from afar - with all the running noses in our house, I was afraid to get too close to her. Hopefully, we will get together again and I can squeeze little Evie to my heart's content. Or did that just sound creepy??

Third: My garage sale this past weekend was an astounding success. The Grand Total obtained from all the kind folks suckers willing to relieve me of my precious family heirlooms crap while paying me for the honor? $361...... Several folks were quite suspicious as to why I would be offloading a crib, high chair, rocker, baby bathtub, swing and a variety of other Baby Accoutrements when I was clearly still in possession of a baby. After I explained that Said Baby refuses to sit anywhere in which Said Baby's brother does not, the understanding was clear and they were more than willing to pony up their dimes and nickels.

I thought I would offer up some garage sale tips. I am definitely interested in any that you might have!

1. Designate an area of a closet or basement where items go immediately after you realize you will not want it. I have a corner in our basement with empty boxes set up. I even keep garage sale tags and a pen down there. Throughout the year, as I come across things we do not use, I take them downstairs and price them as they go in the boxes. (Bonus: This is also a great way to trap all the brown recluse spiders lurking in your house. Then, you can sell those, too!)
2. Be careful about going down on your prices first thing after opening your sale. There are "professionals" out there who canvass garage sales for cheap items that they can resell themselves. These folks prey on people who are shy about negotiating. I witnessed firsthand one of my neighbors getting tag-teamed by a pair of what I refer to as Garage Sale Vultures. They were complete assholes to her, swooping in at 8am on Friday and bombarding her with ridiculous offers on her nearly perfect furniture (going from $30 down to $20, for example). The gal got flustered and accepted their offers. Since she had just moved to the neighborhood, I had only just met her and was hesitant to butt in. I now regret not saying something to those assholes because after talking to her for awhile, I was able to see how sweet she was and that she was just shy.
3. When someone tries to negotiate, always counter-offer. For example - someone asks you to go down from $10 to $5 on something. Counter-offer with $7 or $8. Seriously! Do not be shy about dickering! This was the first year that I was finally able to comfortably haggle and I made out like a bandit for a change. I had only ONE person actually walk away from a counter-offer. The item ended up selling later for the price I wanted anyway. I win!
   

Fourth: I cannot resist offering up Very Favorite Kind of Blog Fodder - Simian Snappage

Look what I found amongst the dust bunnies.

See? I have not forgotten my oldest.

Zach and Arun

Exhausted from all the mayhem.

My Son Likes Barrettes and I Have the Photographic Evidence.

My favorite part was when he built a "train" out of megablocks. As he pushed the "train" around, he proclaimed, "I look PRETTY!" Indeed, my son. INDEED.

Anjali and the Black Elephant

She LOVES the Black Elephant. This means that her father might be willing to finally support the Fixing Up of the Black Elephant which will translate to Big Bucks. Anjali, as the resident Daddy's Little Girl, has a much better shot of convincing him than I do.

She wants to crawl. Badly.

Some details still need to be worked out, obviously.