July 18, 2006

If heat rises, why isn’t hell cold?

It is mother fucking hot here in Kansas City - hitting near 100. Ironically, I was just in Vegas last week where it was easily 105. Pshaw, you say? Vegas is a dry heat? I am still not sure what is worse, but I would lean towards arguing that humidity is worse. When it is this hot, it feels as if you are Smothering In Your Skin, as opposed to just being Baked Alive.

Folks, my Blogging Engine has no gas and there ain't no BeelzeBush coming to “liberate” me. Everyone throughout the Blogosphere is posting about their own writing woes and ever the lemming, I am jumping right in. These days are filled by playing with Arun, catching up on my ragazine cache of celebrity gossip, watching movies and trying to beat the mother flippin’ heat. Unfortunately, none of these activities provide for very compelling blog fodder and as such, I shall have to rely on my mediocre attempts at photography.

Simian Snappage
Arun loves to crawl to the front door and squash his face into the glass. How could a mother resist snapping THAT? More to follow, because I am now on the quest to get the Perfect Squashed Nose Snap. I am determined to teach my boy the fine art of Self-Deprecating Humor.

Slapdashed Snappage

There I was, innocently minding my own business while Doing My Business and THIS about caused me a heart attack.* Don’t get me wrong, I think spiders are really cool BUT only when they are OUTSIDE or in an EXHIBIT of some sort.

Doesn’t every marriage have some sort of Foul Odor every now and then? Why doesn’t the stupid Billion Dollar Wedding Industry prepare the newlywed couple for THAT, instead of foisting ridiculous china patterns on them? This stupid 20 year old, Crumb Pooping Toaster caused one of the biggest blowouts EVER in the Rancid le Manse. No attorneys were consulted, no papers were drafted, no pre-nups perused**, but Holy! Shit! it was a very tense day.

*Which actually would have been embarrassing, if you really think about it. Maybe cool on the Sopranos, but not so much in Real Life.

**We could only BE so lucky to have a need for pre-nups.


dee said...

It is a tad bit hot today, isn't it? My poor hubby has to work out in it all day. Makes me appreciate my cold office a little bit more!

Jane said...

For what it's worth, I think you deserve a nicer toaster than that.

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

every time I think Arun reaches heights of adorableness heretofore unreached by children (I'm not a huge kids person)...you take more pictures.

*sigh* We should all look so good in lizard overalls.

Jenn said...

OMFG I would have ran straight out of the bathroom in MID-STREAM if I saw that thing on my toilet paper! Holy Shit!!!

Rozanne said...

Humidity is worse than a dry heat. I've lived in places with both, so I feel qualified to judge.

You didn't give Arun any help with that nose squashing incident, did you?

Wordnerd said...

I'm swimming in the humidity today, so I have to cast a vote for the big H. As for the spider, I'm thinking of hiring someone to be by my side in the event that I die on the toilet or in some other undignified manner. That person will be in charge of making sure my parts are adequately covered and that I, well, look cute.