May 10, 2006

Ma’am, could you step aside over here?

Not to mock the whole terror thing, but seriously - if you are headed to the airport for a 5+ hour journey and your kid hasn't taken his Daily Dump? I challenge YOU not to be just a little frightened. I had visions of being  pulled aside in the security line for the apparent pipe bomb emanating from my kid’s diaper. But the real $64,000 question was WHEN? and HOW BAD? During take-off, when there is no hope of changing it anytime soon? And would it be the sort of load that must be dealt with ASAP or all hell breaks loose - literally? Fortunately, he ended up doing his deed before we boarded, but there were some tense moments not to be mocked.

Okay - the results of my Packing Challenge? While I wouldn’t have ran out of outfits, the point would have been moot as I ended up getting drunk on Gymboree at the Fair Oaks mall. Frankly, I am surprised Arun hasn't joined forces with his Daddy to mount an uprising against the wearing of Gymboree   No.More.Monkey.Outfits! However, I made myself a brand spankin’ NEW Challenge by forgetting lots of stuff FOR ME. Like foundation. Eyeliner. Razor. And the worst? SHAMPOO. When I had pilfered my Hotel Stash, I had grabbed two things of CONDITIONER. Even worse, I forgot Arun’s shampoo. Good God - we had an audience with the Queen....... of Everything and most definitely, Shampoo. All X had in his apartment was dandruff shampoo and we’re not even not talkin’ Head and Shoulders - we’re talkin’ STORE BRAND. Eek. So, GoAheadTwistMyArm had to go to Target and do a little guilt-free shopping.

I did learn one crucial thing in my Packing Challenge. Toys. I brought only a few toys. Big Mistake. It worked for awhile to just give Arun crap around the apartment to play with, but the Entertainment Mileage (EM) was limited. Here are the pictures of desperate measures:

Daddy’s shoe provided about 10 minutes of EM.

Empty water bottle, pack of playing cards, spoon, AOL junk mail CD box, empty paper towel roll, and a glass. We eventually had to pull out the Big Guns in the form of junk catalogues, Rubber Maid containers and measuring cups and little stick of EM gold called a flashlight.

Reflection in the bathroom mirror? A good 30 minutes of EM. Ding!Ding!Ding! Folks, we have a winner!

Oh, what else did I forget? A map. Then, in my infinite wisdom I created a new Challenge for myself called Navigation and refused to buy a map even though I was going to be driving to DC twice from Virginia. While I did have directions, um, sometimes I could have used a MAP. Stay tuned, will post more tomorrow. I am afraid to even be NEAR the Internet right now for fear I will find out accidently who caused the bus crash on Veronica Mars.

Flyin' High

One thing is becoming increasingly apparent. We have a little Mama's Boy on our hands. Which is 2 parts Thrilling and 1 part Irritating. OF COURSE, I want my little bundle of boy to love ME more than anything else in the whole wide world.

Just not when I am trying to find out Denise's excuses for steppin' out with Heather's man.

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