Well, Kind Stranger in Target, she WOULD be beautiful if she was a she. But you see, she is a HE. What part of the little boy bowl haircut and the BLUE outfit did you miss?
It’s amazing how often people think Arun is a girl and it STILL makes me chuckle. As it is, I am still not used to the “cute baby” comments, but I’ve been told by other mommy friends that those go down in frequency once said baby becomes a toddler. Which is fine by me, because sometimes I get a little weirded out by going through Target and getting comment after comment. If I don’t make eye contact, often, I will just keep going as if I didn’t hear. A question for all the mothers - what do you say when people comment on YOUR baby? Saying “Thanks” seems weird - as if I am taking credit for something with which I had little to do. Other than gestate and birth, of course.
Anyway, I am starting to feel GREAT. Apparently, all I needed was some time with my GIRLFRIENDS. Saturday was a day packed full of sangria, rioja, tapas, book discussions, and gabbing. I suspected I wasn’t doing enough with my friends and Saturday confirmed it. I can see now how I have wasted my precious babysitting time by running errands. Here on out, I am going to try harder to do things for ME - like knitting, meeting with friends, hanging out in coffee shops. It’s the right time anyway - I don’t need to run errands as much without Arun anymore because he is at the age where it is fun to take him places. I’ve even put off my flower purchases until I can take him because I know he would really enjoy going to a nursery.
The downside of Staying Home is that you have to make efforts to ensure your kid gets around OTHER kids his age so that he doesn’t become some weird boozing recluse when he grows up. So, a few months ago, I had joined a Mommy Club in the hopes of meeting more Mommies that have babies near Arun’s age. I haven’t actually met up with any of the gals with babies near Arun’s age, so I finally worked it in my schedule to meet up with them at the Deanna Rose farm. I have been going to this place A LOT lately - no complaints, either. It’s only about 10 minutes from my house, it’s free ( although I always throw a few bucks in the till), and it’s a lovely place to just get out and about. So, I was glad to meet some people there. The two gals I met were very nice, but I just didn’t feel a “connection” with them. Not like I have felt with Wednesday group I meet with (the group that I sorta started with gals I met at the breastfeeding support group through our hospital). Anyway, this lack of a connection became even more clear when we started talking about Lawrence and one gal started bagging on her sister-in-law who lives there because “....she is weird. She is not just vegetarian, she’s MORE than vegetarian....”, this is where I said “Oh, she is vegan”. Then, the gal started bagging on the Mercantile (a local health food store) there because they “sell weird stuff in there....”. Then, the OTHER gal started going on and on about a store downtown where it was obvious that the owners were living an “alternative lifestyle” and her husband was just not comfortable with that. ......sigh..... For whatever reason, I really take offense when people refer to gays and lesbians as living an "alternative lifestyle". It implies some sort of CHOICE on the part of this someone living this “alternative lifestyle" and that’s probably what raises my hackles the most. Furthermore, her husband couldn’t buy some fucking SOAP just because the owners were gay?? Oh, and MY reaction to all this? Actually, pretty mild - I had just met these gals and I tend to be muted in my opinions when I first meet people since I know that I can be quite obnoxious. I wait until I get to know people better before going in for the kill. Is that a strength or a weakness? Your pick.
So, I have to make decisions - the gals were very nice and their parenting styles are not super paranoid. And I am consciously trying to surround myself with relaxed mothers. So, in that vein, they fulfill my criteria for Mommy Friends. But the close-minded comments really bothered me. I left that place seriously wondering whether I want to hang out with them. However, after consideration, I realized that this is probably good for me AND good for Arun. After all, I can’t protect him from interacting with people that have so little experience in this game called Life. After all, Anti-Vegan comments will be the least that Arun will hear from his OWN Redneck Grandpa. ...... double sigh.....