I'm surprised BeelzeBush's cronies haven't tried THAT one, yet. Because seriously, dude - if my kid can’t figure out how not to pull the curling iron down on top of his head and just leave the cord the fuck alone ALREADY blah blah blah. Insert a big fucking sigh right HERE, please. I left him for 2.2 seconds in the master bathroom where all 5 doors and 4 drawers are child-proofed YET I managed to leave a dangling, oh so irresistable cord hanging in full grasp. NO, the iron wasn’t even turned on and YES, he immediately stopped crying when I picked him up and NO, it’s not clear whether he actually knocked his noggin or not and YES, accidents happen. Still, I sorta feel like I should return my Bluetooth headset that X so thoughtfully gave me as a thankyouverymuch for birthin’ him a son. Sorta.
So - question for the Internet - what exactly constitutes “crawling”? He’s past the “rocking” stage and is using his knees and hands for transportation for about 3-4 “crawls” before going down on his stomach and just propelling himself forward by pushing with the feet. This is definitely a progression from ole log roll and back scootching that was his prior mode of transportation. In short, this kid is mobile in all directions and is not content with just toys anymore - baby gates must go up, which means my lazy ass must go DOWN to the basement where said gates are covered with dust and spiders. Leavenworth Grandma was over here on Monday and she swears he is crawling, but she also likes to tell people that we descended from the Bourbons of Spain, so there you go. It’s crazy - he just started this “trying to crawl” thing just before we left for DC and now, it’s ALL he wants to do. Why is that? Why doesn't he want to hunker down on toys anymore and just STAY PUT? I guess that's asking for too much when there are cats to be grabbed, cashews and sunflower seeds to be carefully plucked from the floor, plastic bags for sticking his head into, knitting needles to stick in his eye, and daddy’s shoes to gnaw upon. How the HELL is this kid going to survive walking?
Anyway, is THIS crawling? I don’t think it is and of course, it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things WHEN he does actually begin - he’ll probably still get into kindergarten. However it still begs the question - what is the definition of crawling? I think there should be standards for crawling so there are NO MISTAKES. Say, a 3 foot minimum?
More NonCrawling Pics Simply Because I Bought the Flickr Upgrade and Dammit, I Want My Money’s Worth
P.S. One thing that cracked me up about the baby panda at the National Zoo is that when said panda was born, they had to "baby-proof" the area to keep him from hurting himself.
Updated to Add:Oh, Holy Crap - just read Amalah's site and I am thankful that my kid hasn't learned how to STAND yet. I just finished baby-proofing the FLOORS - I am not ready for the TABLES yet. Cripes.