November 14, 2005

What have I learned?

Arun hit his 4 week milestone yesterday - I took some spare time ( Note: Spare Time = 3.3 Seconds these days) and thought about it. 4 weeks - Damn. It has flown by, but on the other hand, I can’t imagine Arun NOT being here. Not grunting to be held. Not seemingly permanently attached to one of my nipples. Not snuggling tightly into my chest, fast asleep and snoring. Not staring bug-eyed, utterly fascinated at the the world passing him by. Not filling yet another diaper.

So, anyway - What have I learned? Lots and lots. For brevity’s sake, I have pared it down to a Top Ten list.........................

10. It’s not a cliche - a heart can indeed, MELT. The most surprising part is not how often I “ooh and ahh” over the little Monkey, but how often I “ooh and ahh” over his little Daddy. To see the softer side of X ..... well - what can I say? sigh

9. Motherhood is not about having all THE answers - it’s all about having POTENTIAL answers. I call this concept the “Try, Try Again” Approach to Mothering. I feel very blessed that I have so many friends willing to share their experiences. Furthermore, I feel very fortunate to live in a country where so many valuable resources are available to new mothers - books, hotlines, great doctors, lactation consultants and easy connectivity to the Internet. When something comes up with Arun and I am fumbling around attempting Plan A, it is reassuring to know that there is a Plan B and even a Plan C available as options.

8. There is a crucial difference between the words “tired” and “exhausted”. Sleeping in a minimum of 3 hours shift leaves one merely tired. Anything less equals pure exhaustion.

7. Mommies can have meltdowns, also.

6. My body will never be the same. My breasts will never be perky again, my hips have permanently shifted, and my feet are a half size larger. The most shocking part is that I don’t even care.

5. I have a far stronger stomach than I thought. Poopy diapers, spit-up, and eye goop are not that gross, after all.

4. A newfound appreciation for Spare Time. Now, when I have Spare Time, I fly around the house like grease lightening. The Old Me squandered time like Paris Hilton does boyfriends. The New Me can get so much done in 10 minutes these days.

3. Who knew? I CAN be patient - even when faced with a screaming bogeyman at a mind-blowing 3:00am. X and I alike have been amazed by this new development in my personality.

2. Contrary to popular belief, iced coffee was not invented by Starbucks. Rather, it was probably the mastermind of a New Mommy who gave up hope of ever enjoying a hot cup of joe again and decided to take that cold cup to a new level.

1. Finally, it’s no contest. The #1 thing I have learned about motherhood so far, is that Arun is MY child and I know him better than anyone else at this point. Therefore, it is I who has to make the decision what is best for him. It is hard to do that while confronting Assvice left and right from well meaning friends, family, neighbors and strangers on the street. During Week #1, I first learned this lesson the hard way when I slightly disagreed with my doctor on something. Nevertheless, I tried to follow her insructions and ultimately was frustrated when it wasn’t working out. My doctor is totally awesome and I do love her approach to most things, BUT she doesn’t know my child like I do. In the end, I went with my gut and the problem was quickly solved.


This is Older Nephew with Arun. Older Nephew is SO PROUD of his boy cousin since he only had girl cousins until recently. As you can see, Older Nephew is used to hamming it up for the cameras!

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