March 14, 2005

Where have you been Bad Attitude?

The Bad Attitude hath returneth. Yes, I missed that big lug Big Al, when I was under the weather, but really the relationship is akin to the ubiquitous Evil Boyfriend. Come on, ladies – most of us have done it. Either been dumped by an EB or discarded him ourselves, only to find ourselves missing the git awhile later. Then we hook back up with him and quickly get a refresher course in why he was such an a$$hole in the first place. So, yeah, I am back to honing my Exit Strategy and preparing my fantasy manifesto to hand over to HR as I head for the hills. Cutesy little travel mugs exclaiming it’s undying love for me and handed out on Employee Appreciation day just don't cut it, folks. Islander-Pacific Awareness Month in the name of diversity is only 30 days out of a LONG 365 day year. Holding a decorating contest for plastic Mardi Gras masks only makes me want to hop on the next flight to New Orleans. Getting a President’s Award in faux marble doesn’t go a long way when the said president doesn’t recognize me in the elevator. In short, none of these things make working here any more palatable.*

Now while I am blogging about my hatred for this place, I am keenly aware that I could be FIRED FOR BLOGGING about it. Gasp! Why do people think this is such a big freakin’ deal?? Your company can fire you for just about anything, people. Your employment is “at will” – that’s standard for most non-governmental positions. Big Al can fire me because I checked my Yahoo account over lunch. He could ax me for that email with cute kitty pics I sent to my Mommy last week. If I quit tomorrow and posted on a message board about what a hellion that Big Al was, well, those messages could be subpoenaed for court testimony when Big Al sues my a$$ for defaming it’s character (yes, people, I know someone who really had this happened to him). In short, Big Al could probably find all sorts of reasons to boot me and then really stick it to me for good measure.

So, while I will never unmask the Big Fraud until that manifesto is complete and I am off into the sunset to go off-roadin’ on the Mommy Track, I WILL continue to gripe about my job periodically because BLOGGING IS VIRTUALLY FREE, THERAPY IS NOT.

*What inspired this complete disgorgement of wrath? My AVP left on Friday – in the re-org fiasco earlier this year, she had been offered a demotion or a severance package. She took the severance package and Friday was her last day (she did leave on good terms and Big Al WAS disappointed that she leaving). What did Big Al do for her after 21 years of service? She got to SHARE a cake with a few others that were leaving. A cake that was just left out for everyone to help themselves to. No small gathering or appointed time for the cake cutting. Nothing.

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