This WAHM has been whammed.
I have had several folks ask me about the whole WAHM thing. I have mixed emotions, which is why I have not written about it, but anyone who talks to me off-blog has heard much about this subject. *waves furiously at her sister Jill* On the one hand, I am glad that I can contribute to this - I am perfectly suited for what I am currently working on and have created some efficient processes that have been key to our initital success.
But.
I only want to stay home with my kids right now and in the first place, I did not need this extra validation that so-called "working" provides. Truthfully, I felt perfectly validated being "just a stay at home mom." I don't particularly enjoy being torn between finishing work things up and having to tell a certain little 2.5 year old pixie that she will have to wait until later to tell me ALL about the "species of dinosaur bones that lives in the DIRT. IN THE DIRT, MAMA!" Or when a certain 4 year old desperately needs to know RIGHT NOW what in the hell a compognathus eats for his dinner and I have to wave him off for a bit. Or during any of the other instances where they are being utterly adorable and patient with the fact that I am hanging out in my office
Does it hurt them that they are not getting my full attention? No. Not really. Believe it or not, they have a father. Shocking, yet true. I am not the Virgin Mary. However, it hurts me, when I have to say "Not right now."
They are little, but not for long. This fall, Arun begins pre-K which is Beginning of the End of their time with me. They will be in school full-time before I know it and I will have so much time for myself, my head will spin. As much as I would prefer to be back in our normal routine, I know in my heart that this is permanent and that the old routine will never come to pass again. So, now that the December Holiday Rush is over, I am creating a new routine for us. And it will be okay, I am sure.
What this working thing has done for me is that I was forced to prioritize and recognize what was truly important to my personal well-being.
Knitting? Went by the wayside.
Television? My viewing is WAY down, which is probably not a bad thing.
Writing this blog? Sure, if I could fit it in.
Reading blogs? I did keep up on all of my real and imaginary friendships.
Oddly enough, Facebook/Twitter became a little more important - I have found Facebook an exceedingly convenient way to keep up with my family and friends and I appreciate it more than ever now. I am still not overly impressed with Twitter, realistically it is just a massive, public message board comprised of 140 character soundbytes that lack all of the nuances of conversation. However, I do use it as a convenient way to feed my Facebook status. For me, Facebook is where the real conversation threads can take place since it handles conversations much, much better than Twitter could ever dream.
But the most important of all to my mental health was exercise and reading books - I found myself getting very organized so that I could schedule those sorts of things into my day. I read more books and exercised more often in December than in November simply because I needed to stay sane and those two activities ground me.
The WAHM thing is probably here to stay. I am not necessarily happy about that, but I am grateful that Manoj and I can work our schedules and alternate childcare so that the kids don't have to be stuck in daycare. And yes, I am more than a little proud of my contributions to this new venture. I would be a lying McLiar who lies if I lied otherwise.
In other news, I have been feeling extremely apologetic about posting Snapgifts content here. However, I am going to have to get over that and soon. This is our business, our future and we are on the cusp of truly exciting ventures with this. I will try to make the content readable, something interesting to peruse other than statements like "snapgifts! snapgifts! git yer gift cardz heeeeeere!" Know what I mean?
Of course you do.
Snapgifts is currently in the following major metropolitan areas:
Kansas City gift cards
Boston gift cards
Chicago gift cards
San Francisco gift cards
LA gift cards
New York gift cards
More gift card locations?
All gift card locations can be found here!
11 comments:
I work about 20-25 hours a week, and almost all of the hours are when my kids are sleeping. This means that I am sometimes up working at 5:30 am, and other days I'm up working at 11 pm, but for now, it works out. My husband is away from the house 50-80 hours a week, so if I want at least one of us to be around for the kids, this is the only way we can do it.
Then on Saturday or Sunday, my husband gives me a 4 hour block in the middle of the day to work. I also have a babysitter 7 hours a week while my older two are in school. (We'll have the sitter until she starts preschool in Sept.)
It works out, and I rarely feel guilty.
I absolutely hate that you say "stuck in daycare." I have been reading here for a long time and grimace whenever you go off on your tirades about how awful it would be to have to work outside the home but I remind myself that everyone is entitled to their own point of view. But now I'm through. And I realize it doesn't make a bit of difference to you that I've stopped reading your blog. I just feel like if I knew you in the real world we would not be friends since our ideologies seem so different, so what's the point in continuing to read?
I won a snapgift card and gave it as a gift for the holidays and it was a hit!
So thanks.
And you have cards for DC too
Dear Anonymous,
It's so true. Not a bit of difference.
hunh.
Sometimes I dream of working from home, but I doubt I'd have the self-discipline to get anything done. I don't know how my husband gets any school work done while he's at home with our kidlet. Oh, wait, he doesn't get much done. That's why he's up until 1 a.m. most nights studying. :P
I've been WHAMming for almost a year now, and it seems a perfect fit for me, for my family, for the kind of woman I want to be. For now. Later, I might rejoin the rat race. For today? Snowmen and hot chocolate.
I'm not sure Anonymous realizes that BEING ANONYMOUS is what leads to a "doesn't make a bit of difference" response. I can't speak for Kelli, but when it's ME, I care VERY MUCH if I've upset a reader I recognize, but if it's just "anonymous," how COULD I care, even if I TRIED?
Also, my husband says those are called "Goodbye Cruel World" comments, or GCW for short. They're known all over the internet.
Also-also, have any of the anonymii noticed that such comments GREATLY INCREASE the supportive feelings of other commenters?
Your gift card was a huge hit with all 3 people I gifted it to-I am genuinely impressed with your venture and I hope you keep talking about it here. This is something you and X have poured yourself into and built up by yourselves. I should know, considering your company took my calls on Christmas Eve of all times!
I think you've handled this WAHM thing very well. And yes, I can see you waving at me from over there. I think it's great that you are able to support Manoj with the business. Even though you're overwhelmed right now, things are bound to get a little easier with your "new normal/routine". Even though it's hard, Arun and Anjali are lucky to have both their parents at home for now. Keep up the good work, sister!
I don't know if I told you but when I saw your site I was telling a friend of mine, "Damn it! What a great idea! I wish I'd thought of it first!" lol
wow, you really riled that one up! "stuck in daycare" is how I feel about my own kids who HAVE been "stuck in daycare" from infancy since I work outside the home. If wishes were horses, I'd have a stable AND be a SAHM or WAHM but alas, that was not in the cards. I envy you for being able to do what you love (stay home). You rock my friend, never forget that.
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