My Dearest Mojavi,
I realize my actions yesterday at the zoo could have been easily misinterpreted. You see, when the emu escaped from his pen and began to follow us, I was really running for help. To save you. I mean, I was not really running away from you in a frenzied state of fear - although I can see where it may have appeared so.
And while I may have said "Get the fuck out of the way", I was really only concerned for your safety.
P.S. In my defense, it appears an emu can reach speeds of 30 MPH. It might be relevant to add that I, however, cannot reach speeds of 30 MPH. Although, admittedly you probably cannot, either.
P.P.S. The next Wine and Chocolate Playdate is totally on me. Ahem.