So..... You Think You Want a Turtle/Lizard/Rabbit/Frog/Tarantula/Snake/Parrot

Note: I mention my pet store a lot in this post, but the pet store did N OT sponsor this post -- all the fancy words presented here are simply MY opinions and should be not be treated as "expert advice". I also wanted to note that The Olathe Pet Store is locally owned and does not carry cats or dogs. I frequent The Olathe Pet Store almost weekly and the owner is very experienced and more importantly, responsible and knowledgable in the care of his animals.

In 2008, we got our first tarantula --- Sofia. We mostly got her because Arun was really into tarantulas at the time and a tarantula is a creature that needs a minimum of care. Also, it would seem that we are Those Parents who are total suckers for their child's every whim. Indeed. Oh sure, it did help that we had been visiting Sofia for months at the pet store and we already knew her to be super laidback and not skittish like Pinktoe tarantulas are normally known to be. I did some basic research on tarantula husbandry before getting Sofia and felt confident that I knew what we were in for. There were very few surprises except for the fact that apparently, you can develop real, life-like feelings for a tarantula. Feelings! Who knew?

Since Sofia, I've dived head-first into tarantulas as a hobby (I just purchased my 5th T last week. Oy.) Also, Arun has added geckos to his much-desired pet list. We've had a crested gecko (who died last year) and for his past birthday, Arun begged for a gargoyle gecko. In fact, he was given a choice between a gecko and a DSi and he still chose the gecko - as he put it "I like pets more than video games." Gentle Reader, it is difficult to resist that sort of earnest reasoning from a dewy-eyed 6 year old sporting an adorable mushroom cloud of hair.

World, meet Chloe.

Along the way of dabbling into the tarantula and gecko hobbies, I have considered other exotic pets as well. We are firmly entrenched in the arachnid/reptile camp for the time being, but I thought it would be nice to document some of the thought processes I go through when considering bringing a new animal into our home. Also, I've been asked all sorts of questions when it comes to exotic animal ownership and in the future, I am going to direct folks to this post.

Research
Read everything you can regarding the pet in which you are interested -- Internet, library, asking folks you know who are in the hobby. Also, most of the hobbies have message boards -- cruise a few of those. It will give you an idea of the sort of crowd you are joining, in addition to any hot topics regarding the hobby. (To Handle or Not To Handle Your Tarantula is a HUGE issue amongst the arachnid enthusiasts and the topic usually garners some heated commentary.)

It also helps to get a feel for what you want to look for in a healthy specimen of what you are wanting to buy - go to a pet store or hobbyist gathering to actually SEE the animal. I learned this the hard way -- I had done all the bookwork on crested geckos but realize now that I did not handle nearly enough of them to get a feel for personality (and I had handled mostly adults, not hatchlings.) I ended up buying a crested who was pretty sluggish and at the time, I thought he was laid back. Now, I realize a crested hatchling should do quite a bit more scampering and jumping around than ours did. I now suspect that our crested was probably not in good health when we bought him.

Age and Gender Does Matter
Often, baby critters are cheaper, but that comes at a cost because it is riskier - an adult has a more established history of health and behavior and therefore, is a safe buy.  However, buying a baby is fun because you get to watch your wee one grow.  If you do buy a baby, ask the owner how many feedings the animal has had (my store's owner likes his reptile hatchlings to have at the very least, 3 feedings to get a gauge as to health).  Also, in many animals, there are striking differences in appearances and color variations between the male and females.  Try to get a look at both lads and lasses before making your decision.  And! Even more importantly, there can be differences in life spans between genders -- male tarantulas can be found cheaper quite simply because they do not live as long as females.

Allergies and Other Health Concerns
Allergies aren't just for cats and dogs. Tarantulas are venomous, but are not fatal unless you are allergic to bees. Tarantulas also kick off uricating hairs which are painful and itchy -- they seem to affect Arun even more so since he already deals with some skin allergies. Reptiles, amphibians, turtles, tortoises may carry salmonella and it is extremely important to wash your hands after every interaction. Folks with compromised or lowered immune systems need to carefully consider these concerns.

I had him wear gloves, in case Chloe decided to kick a few hairs. Her biting him? Not statistically likely.

Food Source
What will your pet eat? Is the food source expensive? Is there a pet store convenient to your house for getting the food source? What is the feeding schedule? For example, I would love to have a bearded dragon, but I really don't like crickets. Unless I want to be going to the pet store every other day, I would have to essentially keep a cricket farm in my house. We settled on crested and gargoyle geckos because they are a happy medium -- they will eat the occasional cricket and otherwise live on a rehydrated fruit product called Repashy. Conversely, tarantulas only need a few crickets here and there - about every other week or so. I live very near to the pet store and it is quite easy to just cruise through, pick up some crickets and head back home.

Another example is that Arun really wants a snake, but I could not handle buying the food source -- MICE. Sweet, furry, adorable MICE. When Arun can actually drive himself to the pet store to procure mice, I am perfectly okay with him getting a smaller snake -- for example, a corn snake or a ball python (NO Burmese pythons in my home. EVER.) Until then, there will be no snakes in our house because I cannot buy a pinkie, then throw it into a cage and hear it squeal as it meets its doom. I simply cannot. Come to think of it, as much as I hate squirrels, perhaps I should rereconsider that Burmese python.

Life Span
How long will your pet live? Some pets, such as parrots and giant tortoises, can live past your own lifetime. Are you committed to caring for that pet throughout its life? Do you have a plan for your pet should your pet outlive YOU? If your pet has a shorter life span, are you emotionally okay with letting it go? Last year, I bought a male Pinktoe tarantula. I knew that Daniel's bargain price of $15 meant that his time on Earth was limited -- once a male tarantula is mature, they will die during their next attempt at molting (the process where a tarantula sheds its entire exoskeleton, in addition to mouth parts and sexual organs). Sure enough, last month Daniel attempted to molt and died. I was sad, but since I had made an informed decision when I bought him, I was not shocked when he died.

This is Gordon the Gecko, Jr. I sure as hell hope he lives longer than Gordon the Gecko, Sr.

Source of Knowledge and Supplies
I have been very lucky in that I have always had a good pet store nearby who employed knowledgable and responsible employees. Someone selling you an exotic pet might actually be a bit hesitant to sell you a pet -- my pet store even has a document that must be signed. Don't be offended if the pet store employee asks YOU some questions regarding your purchase. A responsible pet store simply wants to ensure their animals go to a permanent, safe home since buyer's remorse can hurt everyone, including the animal.

Hobby Shows and Conventions
Be very wary of buying an animal from a show or convention if this is your first purchase. I bought our crested at a convention and I do believe that was part of the problem. Looking back, I wasn't as informed on the subject as I should have been and I think I made a mistake on that purchase (for example, I had primarily handled juvenile/adult cresteds when doing my research -- I was not as familiar with hatchlings). Conversely, I have no hesitations on buying a tarantula at a show because I have been in the hobby for several years now and have a much better idea of what I am looking for and which questions to ask.

Expenses
Oh sure, that pet might be on sale or appear to be reasonably priced, but he is going to have needs. Food costs money - crickets are cheap, mice are not. Enclosures and accessories are not free. Substrate and cage liners are another consideration.

Anjali has proven empirically that it is far cheaper to build a tarantula and a cage out of Legos (including a blue web.) As you can see, she is very proud of her creation.

Space
Last year, someone was giving away a really cool red-eared slider turtle. I would have loved to have that animal but the space requirements were beyond what I was willing to commit to since a larger turtle needs both a dry and aquatic environment. Furthermore, turtles live for a long time! (See: Life Span)  Also consider that if you have bought a baby, that baby will grow, which means more space and potentially bigger enclosures. I now own a variety of enclosures for a variety of sized tarantulas.  (And yet, my husband still sleeps with me at night.  \)

Care
Tarantulas are minimalists in the care area. I give water about once a week, mist their cages occasionally and throw in a few crickets here and there. Depending on the state of their enclosures, I only clean them every month or so. Conversely, the fish and the gecko have to be fed every day. The gecko needs his cage misted at least every other day. The fish and the gecko poop considerably more than the tarantulas (Rule #1 of Pets: Everyone Poops!) Some animals need a consistently maintained environment - both temperature and humidity need to be considered. When the pilot light on our furnace went out, our house got really cold until we re-lit it. the next morning I lost sleep that night worrying about the gecko getting too cold and spent the night checking on him and trying to snuggle him (He was not as appreciative as you'd suspect.). From a care and handling perspective, I would be okay with a variety of lizards and even a snake, but I have issues with their eating habits (See: Food Source) A dream of mine is to have a veiled chameleon, but I doubt it will ever happen -- chameleons are such emotionally and physically sensitive creatures and their setups are fairly expensive, pretty high maintenance. I am not sure I could give a chameleon the detailed care and specific environment it needs.

Handling
Do you want a pet that you can actually pet? A gecko or a bearded dragon doesn't mind handling. On the other hand, as mentioned, a chameleon does not do well with excessive handling. Various types of tarantulas don't mind handling, but are YOU okay with handling? Even if your pet is mostly in his cage, at some point that pet needs to be removed from the cage while you clean it. In short, you WILL be handling your pet at some point. Whether you like it or not.  (If not, you can use this handy, dandy guide to trapping your animal.  Works for mice and tarantulas.  Dogs?  Not so much.)

We don't handle our tarantulas a lot, I actually don't think they enjoy it. We do, however, let them roam around once in awhile.  And occasionally play with the Angry Birds.

And now, I shall open the floor to you. Do you have other questions? For those of you also experienced in this area, is there anything that I might have missed?

Jesus is totally the Don Draper of Death.

Sofia, our avicularia avicularia  (Common Pink Toe tarantula) died last week.  Yes, Gentle Reader, she skittered over the rainbow bridge and off to the great Pinned, Styrofoam Sheet in the sky.

About two months ago, I looked in her cage and my heart sank when I realized that she had molted, but had not shed her abdomen - normally, tarantulas shed their entire exoskeleton, fangs, mouth parts, sexual organs, stomach lining and book lungs.  The fact that she had not shed her abdomen was a bad, bad sign.  But still, I had hope - after all, Madison, our avicularia versicolor (Anitlles Pink Toe) spiderling has skipped shedding her abdomen, although I suspect the fact that Madison was just a tiny "sling" helped her survival.  Anyway! I had kept a close eye on Sofia since her molting, filling her bowl with water, offering her crickets.  I knew it was bad when she refused crickets.  I knew it was really bad when she went into a death curl.  When spiders die, they do not flip on to their backs (actually, they tend to do that when they are molting.)  Rather, spiders will hunker down low with their legs curled under their bodies.  And there Sofia was.  Hunkered down, legs curled.

And.  That was it.

Arun and Anjali were fairly dismayed.  In particular, Anju was very concerned that "Madison will miss her mama".  And as you would expect, they have been asking the usual questions about death - Arun went as far as to purport that "humans don't die, Mama."  And this, this, is where I give religion credit where it is due -- as the title of this post suggests,  Jesus is the Advertisement King when it comes to mortality.  Surely, nobody can sell Death like the Christians.

There are no slow-motion videos of Sofia and us frolicking in our yard with Kenny Rogers warbling "Through The Years" in the background.  There are no snaps of Sofia snuggled in bed with the kids.  There are no memories of laughter, wrestling or playing fetch.  But she was still a pet, of sorts, to us and we miss her.

I have always said that Sofia was like Cheech to the A. Avic set.  She was so very laid back - ALL of the other A Avics I have seen are very jumpy, nervous sorts.  Sofia?  Not so much.  When I would fill her water dish (an old milk jug cap), she would meander over to get a drink, but otherwise, she just hung out (huffing glue or smoking a bong, I swear). 

She would even allow us to pet her rump with little hesitation.

I think what surprised me the most is how often I looked to her cage to check in on her.  I was even caught off-guard at how teary-eyed I got when I pulled her from the cage and put her in the Ziploc bag.  And I certainly did not expect to be torn about giving her to a friend for her daughter's 3rd grade science project.

But it was the right decision - to put her out there, to show others how fascinating up close an animal that nobody loves can be.  Because of Sofia, I got over my squeamish stomach and tingling spine.  I became more open, more accepting of creepy crawlies, lizards, snakes - all of the animals that my son desperately adores. 

And now, I am just as captivated.

Why?

Welcome to Pet Week here at Rancid Raves!

So, yes - we have three cats, two tarantulas and now, one dog. If it was my choice, we would have a kick ass aquarium, a 4-horned chameleon and a third tarantula (a greenbottle blue!) However, I think my husband's patience has been pushed to his max.

When I tell folks we have two tarantulas, invariably, I get a simple "Why?". I also get an "On purpose?" , which is my personal favorite. As if two tarantulas meandered through our front door and we let them stay the night.

I see all of these "pets" as a privilige and I am glad that we can do it. Having animals can get expensive, not including the fact that it helps that we live in a house with a yard and thus, have enough space for everyone.

I think most kids are crazy about animals, no? My kids are nutso about them - we have all forms of toy animals littered about the house and at this point, Anjali prefers animals to dolls and Arun prefers them to cars. I am sure my own love for nature has helped this along. I am not afraid to catch all sort of critters in our yard as Arun discovers them. Currently, we have a variety of plastic containers littering our house filled with all sorts of ghastly contents. I am glad that I have the stomach for it.

Last night, Arun was beyond thrilled to have found a garden snail in my sister's yard. Later, when we were about to leave, he was positively distraught that he had lost it - fortunately, we found it. This morning, I went to check in on him and found him snuggled up with his snail (in his bug bucket).

I hope he nevers loses that sense of wonder.

Vanessa

Vanessa is my cat from my Single Girl days and was most certainly a Child Replacement Model (Pet Peeve #234789 When folks won't admit they get pets to fulfill the desire for babies, then proceed to neglect the pet when the human children arrive.) Vanessa was named for the character Vanessa Lewis from the soap the Guiding Light. She is the sweetest, shyest and snuggliest of the cats. She is so desperate for affection at all times that even the kids are acceptable alternatives means for attention.

Harry (Black cat) and Pearson (Orange cat)

Pearson (the orange tabby) is the first pet that X and I got together. He is a pain in the ass, but we love him. Pearson came "pre-named" from the shelter. Harry (the black cat) showed up on our doorstep one icy, snowy night and quickly figured out that not only do we serve premium-quality cat food but that we are complete suckers for mild-mannered felines that wrap themselves around your legs looking hungry. He is named for Harry Potter. The grey cat? Is a neighbor cat who wanders in our yard and our HOUSE if the door is left open. This scene cracked me up how all three cats were just hanging out, so peacefully.

Madison

Madison is an avicularia versicolor, also known as a Antilles Pinktoe. She is pretty skittish and I am always a little skittish myself when opening her container. Not because I am afraid she will bite me, but because I am afraid she will escape! I chose the name Madison because it is a Top 10 Baby Girl Name and I have a twisted sense of humor.

Sofia

Sofia is supposedly an avicularia avicularia (Common Pinktoe). However, she is really way too colorful for an a. avic which makes me suspicious that she is a cross-bred avic and was misidentified by the breeder. Sofia is super laid back, I call her the stoner of the A. Avic set, because truly, she is just not as highstrung as a. avics are generally known to be. I do "pet" her but rubbing her rump sometimes, but overall, I think tarantulas don't LIKE to be handled, so I am in the Do Not Handle Your Tarantula camp of that particular debate. Sofia's name? Again, look at my tasteless sense of humor. Also, I have not yet changed Sofia's cage yet - I was waiting for a new molt and I need to get on it since she molted a few months ago. I had a troll on Flickr who went all Free Range Tarantula on my ass about the size of Sofia's cage, man she would be FURIOUS if she saw that i had not changed it.

If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?

Arachnophobics, be warned - there are spiders in this here bloggy thing I have going on. And I cannot promise there will not be more. We decided to go with the moniker of Madison for our new a. versicolor. OH MY, she is SO beautiful. I had no expectations that she would be so brightly colored this early. After all, she currently just the size of a quarter - I cannot wait to see what she looks like as she continues to grow.

And X's reaction? Um, let us just say that "not enthusastic" is a genteel way to describe the situation. For better or for worse? Right? That's my story and I am sticking to it.

As a truce, I have offered up gratuitous snaps of the kids. Arun finally, finally!, will deign to actually pose for pictures. And Anjali? Is beginning to piece together her own wardrobe, which is actually quite frightening. More so than a wee spiderling, I believe.

Enough spiderage. Now, I want to talk portable DVD players..........

January 9th, 1976, we brought my newborn sister home. My mom held her while riding in the front seat of our mustard-hued Nova (sidenote: Am I the only one who remembers Novas back when they were rust-free and not totally uncool?? Am old, I know.) I rode in the back, but constantly leaned over the front seat to get a gander at my new baby sister. The point? None of us were wearing seat belts. In fact, throughout my childhood, we never wore seatbelts. As kids, we had free will to roam all over whatever car, truck, station wagon we happened to be riding in. During one roadtrip to from Leavenworth, KS to Taos, NM, my cousin slept in a sleeping bag in the bed of the truck for a good part of the trip OH MY GOD NOT JOKING. Again, the point? In short, we were not tightly strapped in and expected to sit stockstill for hours upon hours. I am not saying this was a good thing, I am saying that it was a different time, different standard.

Back in my days of Armchair Parenting, I absolutly decried the portable DVD player, openly mocked it and randomly judged. Of course, now I am eating my crow (topped with a nice raspberry confit and served with a side of garlic mashed potatoes). And here's the thing - my kids like being in the car! We talk, we sing, we have particular games where snakes and dragons are chasing us (hence, the reason why my 18 month old declares incessantly "Oh no, snakes coming, mama! SNAKES COMING!) But. BUT. At night? All bets are off, get your hands away from the chips, ma'am. When I am on long, dark, lonely highways coming back from my parents' or my sister's homes, the wailing is hideous. Even Arun used to cry as a baby on K-10 and that was pretty much the only highway that would send him over the edge. He does fine now, but Anjali does not, DOES NOT, do fine on any highways that are long, dark and lonely.

About 2 months ago, I bought a portable DVD player and I Have Not Looked BACK. And the rules for using it are simple: It has to be nighttime and we only get to watch it coming back from Lawrence or Tonganoxie (or Surrender, Dorothy's crib). Unofficial Rule: The DVD itself has to be something non-irritating that will not make Mama drive off the road (Curious George is the ticket.)

Yeah, color me Hypocrite, folks. 'Tis a pretty shade on me anyways - it brings out the blue in my eyes.

World, Meet Madison.

Madison, our a. versicolor (common name: Antilles Pink Toe Tarantula)

Finally, He Has Become a Poser.

Lolita Meets High Fashion

If you have lost it, where do you find it?

Yeah, so Sunday I got the confirmation call that the guy from Petworld in Lawrence came across an avicularia versicolor tarantula (common name: Antilles Pinktoe Tarantula) for me. I gave him the go ahead to purchase it. However, I had really, really lusted for a Chromatopelma cyaneopubescens (common name: Greenbottle Blue Tarantula), so the upshot is this: down the line, I will be getting a third T.

I have not exactly told X. Yesterday, I showed him a picture of an a. versicolor and pointed out how so v. v. pretty it was, no? I am going to Lawrence today, will return with a 1 inch sling (spiderling) and will claim it as an impulse purchase. Let this be our little secret, shall we?

I am really excited about getting a sling. It will be small, but as it will be growing more rapidly, there will be more molts. The downside with a smaller sling is that the risk is higher that it will not survive. For the experience of watching him/her grow, it will be worth it.

The name? As the sling is too small to be sexed, we are not sure if it is a female or male. I chose Sofia's name from the top 10 baby girl names on the SSA website. Since this T is unsexed, I am tempted to go with Olivia for now. If it turns out to be a male, then I can switch to Oliver. Which would be fitting anyway. *cough*mymaidenname*cough*

What do you think? Here are the top 10 Baby Names from 2007:

1	Jacob	Emily
2	Michael	Isabella
3	Ethan	Emma
4	Joshua	Ava
5	Daniel	Madison
6	Christopher	Sophia
7	Anthony	Olivia
8	William	Abigail
9	Matthew	Hannah
10	Andrew	Elizabeth

Day 16: Is it Christmas yet?

I like gossip and snark as much as the next person. But when some anonymous chickenshit blogger uses their space to go all Judge Judy and poop hatred merely for the sheer purpose of pooping hatred. Well? That crosses the line for me. People suck, sometimes. Especially when such lilly-livered individuals target a good friend of mine.

So, to escape the hatred, I hung out on my spider messageboard all weekend. And then? Found myself embroiled in a minor controversy as to the number of crickets and method of how I feed my tarantula. Awesome! This coming on the heels of someone on Flickr leaving nasty comments about the size of Sofia's enclosure. So, for the first ever in my history of Flickrage, I had to block someone, then they began emailing asking if they could buy Sofia from me. I guess to save her? For reals?? It is not as if Sofia tries to make a break for it every time I open her cage. Sometimes, I swear she is wagging her spinnerets in glee. Okay, maybe not. But still - I wonder if PETA has glommed onto the 8-legged cause or what.

Okay. *breathes deeply* My happy place? My den of Zen? Is here, so I best be moving on.

On Friday, Chocolate Covered Susan and I went to the Union Station on Friday. The kids rode the historic Holiday Spirit train that used to be the Jones Store in downtown Kansas City. Then, we got to the see the huge model train extravaganza they have going on. It was so awesome that on our way back from Crown Center, we did all the train stuff again. I am even considering one more trip over there before the holidays end and it all goes away. The train ride was $3/person, the model train display was free. The train ride was cute because I thought Anjali was too little for it, but the minute she saw Arun get on board, she began straining against her stroller harness while exclaiming "Please! Please!".
Resistance? It be futile:

Riding the Holiday Spirit at Kansas City's Union Station from Kelli Oliver George on Vimeo.


After the train ride, we headed over to Crown Center. It just so happened that Santa was there and he was looking quite lonely (read: No lines!) so we squeezed in a quick chat with weirdie beardie while there. On cue, Arun asked for a toy snake for himself and a toy kitchen for his sister. Then all the kids played in the Crayola toyland thingie for awhile. It was such a great day - nothing fancy and not even very expensive.

The Most Perfect Picture Ever For a Christmas Card, No?

Too damned bad that I already used a far inferior picture for our card and said cards are already addressed. Officially, I SUCK.

Entralled

A Kansas City Icon, Made Entirely Out of Legos

The View? Stunning.
My snapshot of it? Not so much.

Oh, Santa Baby

Does a watched tarantula still molt?

On Tuesday, I discovered that Sofia was on her back. Squee! This meant that she was going to molt! The poor girl has been looking a little haggard these past few months and she was due for a new wardrobe.

You see, as a spider grows, they become too big for their britches. Literally. Therefore, they grow a new set under the current set. And then? They lay on their back and "push" the old set of threads off. It can take a few days or weeks, for the new skin to completely harden, as well. The entire process is actually very dangerous and is when the T is at its very weakest.

When I saw her on her back, I was concerned because she was near the bowl for the cricket food. I gently pulled the bowl out, but it spooked her and she rolled back and clambered up the side of her enclosure. *sigh* I am not still not sure if she is going to make it - if the new skin underneath hardens, it will stick to the old skin which will kill her. All I can hope for is that the molting process had not actually begun and that she was only in the position for it.

I think what has surprised me most is how stressed I have been about this. I mean, I knew that I liked Sofia and all that, but now I know how much I like her. She is an avicularia avicularia (common name: Common Pink Toe) which is a New World arboreal species that is known to be docile (rarely, rarely bites), but they do tend to be a tad skittish. Sofia? Is so laid back that I swear she is smoking weed when I am not looking. She is the Cheech of the avicularia set. Everyone always thinks their pets are the most special - I am no different, I suppose.

So, there. I admitted it. I like this creepy little monster dwelling on my fireplace and if she dies, I am going to cry.

Why bother? (v.2)

I had a celebratory post planned for this week about how I had officially run out Official Excuses for not going to the gym. I am done business traveling, done gestating, done breastfeeding full-time, and done dealing with separation anxiety from two toddlers. Yes, the plantar fasciitis has been an issue, but I stick to weights and the elliptical machine, so it has not been so bad. I was going to wax poetic on how lovely it is to drop the Double A's off at the nursery, where they are so very excited to just scamper off into the distance. I was going to talk about how sweet it has been to just soak up some tunes on the iPod and have 60 minutes of uninterrupted thinking.

Then.

Yes, you must have suspected there would be a "then". No?

I kicked our trash can a good 2 feet across our kitchen. Not on purpose, mind you. Oh no, but rather I did it because I am a klutz. The same bufoon who tripped in the kitchen just yesterday and fell on her knee. Also, I am Lazy Mom who left a rocking chair perched precariously on her couch (so the housecleaners could vacuum) and was watching her youngest progeny begin to pull it off of the couch. In my haste to grab the rocking chair, I totally ran into the trash can.

So. Now, I cannot walk without hobbling, I cannot bend my toe and said toe is turning a rather disturbing purple color. It also feels like the toe is "missing" or "disconnected" - a Phantom Toe, perhaps?? Dr. Google informs that even if the toe is broken, there is not much a Real Live In Person Insurance Accepting kinda doctor could do about it anyway.

I would take a picture for everyone to have fun diagnosing amongst yourselves, but as I have traded in pedicures in lieu of a housecleaning service, you would do well to thank me for sparing you the ugliness that is now officially known as my Left Middle Toe.

You knew this would come eventually, right?

Oh sure, she could partake of a cheeseburger if she so desired, but truly, she prefers crickets.


moar funny pictures

How much is your sanity worth?

Dude. I went to one of those Just Between the Two of Us Friends and Lovers (or whatever) consignment sales today. For those of you not familiar with this special level of hell reserved for mothers (perhaps, fathers have a better sense of self-preservation?), this is how these things work: A company gathers used baby and kid items from folks, prices them, and then takes a commission off the top (I have heard 40%.) Then, they pack all this crap into a teeny, tiny space so that a single stroller barely fits through, much less a double (which of course, half the folks are pushing). Then, they crank up the heat so that everyone develops a fine sheen of sweat the minute they enter. The best part? They hire like a total of four people to cashier for all this. FOUR.

Dude. These events are complete chaos with frantic bargain hunters pushing themselves through the mayhem. I have been to one of these consignment thingies before, with mixed results. They are such a pain in the ass, but the selections are fairly good, even though the prices are a bit steep (garage sales are The Way To Go for steals.) So, why did I bother going today? I happened to see the signs for it yesterday and it worked out that I could just run by it this morning since it was near to me. I had a doctor's appointment, but I carefully budgeted time to wait in line. After 20 minutes of waiting in line, I knew it wasn't happenin'. I had to chuck all of my selections because I knew I would not make it out in time and there was no point waiting. Argh. What a waste of my time! I was not even going to save that much money, it was just that I liked the outfits I had picked. Bah. I will never attend one of those silly blackholes of my time again. I would much rather peruse garage sales and hunt clearance racks.

Dude. Remember that one time when I wondered if I had plantar fasciitis? The doctor confirmed that yes, plantar fasciitis is probably the root of my current podiatric evil. The other day, I stepped on the lifeless form of Baby Jaguar and holy CRAP, I thought I was going to die. So, the problem has not gotten better and until some certain people in this house learn to pick their shit up, I foresee a certain beloved baby feline will make his way to the Humane Society. Hopefully, a more giving family will adopt him. Oh. My. God. The agony.

Does your partner get it?

X does not understand my little blogging hobby. Sometimes, nay - often, it is frustrating and is one reason why I considered doing ads. Even bringing in $10 a month at my traffic level would somehow add some sort of minimal monetary consideration to it . How do I explain to him what blogging does for me? That it provides a connection of sorts, not merely some weird release of my Inner Voyeaur? That it is a creative outlet for me? And that for someone with small children, it is an excellent hobby because it can be put down so easily? I blog because I can hit "save now" in a pinch and attend to business when a kid begins squawking or leaking bodily fluid. I rarely, if ever, write an entire post in one sitting. I pound these babies out in short, sporadic bursts.

Fortunately, as hobbies go, Putting down a book is equally easy, but even knitting is difficult to put down on more complicated project. I do miss making jewelry and doing raku, but blogging has helped keep me creative. Am I the only with a partner who does not understand the allure of blogging?

Speaking of hobbies.........In other news, I have officially gone to the dark side. I joined a message board called Arachnoboards - I think the title sorta says it all. This weekend I totally got sucked into this board for "invertebrate enthusiasts" (sounds far more sophisticated than "spider lover", no?) (Note: if you missed all the fun this weekend as to how we came into possession of this big ass spider, check out this post to get the Story of Sofia, our pink-toed tarantula.)

I still have not decided how much I want to handle Sofia. She is an a. avicularia and they are a docile species and are not likely to bite or kick hairs. However, they tend to be skittish and will sometimes jump. Believe it or not, the danger is more in her court, than in mine. If she falls from a height that is greater than 1.5 times her body length, there is a very likely chance that she could rupture her abdomen, which means that she would most likely die. One of the great controversies amongst the 8 Legged Zealots is that tarantulas should not be handled due to the danger to them.

The one downside to this board is that now I really, really want an Antilles Pinktoe (a. versicolor). *gulp*


Children Are So 2007.

Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't it be more fun to eat a big one?

The other day, a kid came around to our house to sell us candy - one of those Big Bars - for $8. The theory he was peddling was that if we bought the candy from him, he would not join a gang. We were not really convinced on the logistics, but bought the story candy anyway. Later, X saw the kid in our neighborhood talking on his cell phone and the kid did not even acknowledge X when he said hello to him. *sigh*
__________________________

So. Before I begin my following story let me say that X and I are not Those Parents. Sure, X is That Dad, but I am not That Mom. Lest you think that we are stupid enough to indulge a 2 year in his arachnoidal fantasies simply because we have not learned how to resist those huge gemstones eyes, let me assure you that between the two of us, X and I can say "no" in about 5 different languages. So......

Um. We bought a tarantula the other night.

A beautiful, soft, pink-toed tarantula to be specific. She is 6 years old, not quite fully grown. Truly, she is just beautiful and the way pink-toed Ts walk is just wicked cool. X casually mentioned getting a tarantula, I did the research and 2 hours later we came home with Sofia.

Innernets, Meet Sofia.
Sofia, Innernets.

Yes, we are the Crazy People. Yes, I am worried about getting bitten. Yes, I have handled her and taken her out of her cage.

But.

I have been peering at the tarantulas at the pet store for months now. Two weeks ago, I saw Sofia walk for the first time and was mesmerized because it was so cool. I know the guy at the pet store quite well and when we went to look at her, I sat talking with him and another customer about tarantulas. I realized with a shock at some point that I knew what I was talking about and that I could totally hang. I knew then, that we could get the tarantula and be okay. And then, I handled Sofia and it was so amazing to see her walk. Seriously, the way pink-toed Ts walk is awesome.

Sofia is actually low-maintenance and no, she is not poisonous (to humans, that is. I would like to offer my sincerest condolences to the crickets currently dwelling in her cage.) Her cage needs to be cleaned every 6 months, she needs about 4 crickets (8 cents a piece) about every 2 weeks and a bit of special water every 2-3 days. She will never pee on my bed, my clothes or my carpet. And yes, she could bite me someday (although, realistically, she has not bitten anyone in the 3 months the petstore has had her). I have been bitten and scratched by cats and dogs (and specifically, I have been attacked by a Chow AND a St. Bernard. A tarantula? Not nearly as terrifying as a Chow, in my book.)

And her name? I went to the Social Security website and looked at the top 10 baby girl names for kicks.

So. There you have it. I guess that will nix my hosting many playdates in the future.

And to make up for the Ick Factor, here are some snaps of my baby girl's Morning Hair. Until a wide-toothed comb makes its way through the briar patch, it is pretty scary on its own!