Are they twins?

Note: This post is dedicated to the talented Eric Carle. Because of him, my sweet baby girl chirps "CAKE!" when you ask her what a caterpillar eats. It is definitely worth the critical error in his book since butterflies actually emerge from a chrysalis, not a cocoon, Mr. Carle.

Every now and then, as Anjali has gotten bigger, I get the Twins Question regarding Team Chaos. They are always in their stroller when I am asked this seemingly odd question and I suspect the size difference must not be as obvious while they are sitting down. Or something like that, since truthfully, I do not think they look like they could be twins. Not in the least. However, at Silver Dollar City, I got this question several times. Huh.

Anyway, I have finally uploaded vacation snaps to Flickr. Overall, the trip to Branson and Silver Dollar City (SDC) was a good one. I cannot recommend Branson enough - it is so family friendly and reasonably priced. Anju and Arun got in free to most things because they hit the "3 and under" requirement quite nicely this year. Furthermore, all the attractions within Silver Dollar City are free - even Marvel Cave! Food and souvenirs are reasonably priced as well.

In fact, some of their toys were cheaper than what I have paid for in the past - case in point, we have a collection of frogs at home. Sadly, I had only brought one, solitary, single frog with us when I scooped up some animals to bring along and yes, we must have animals to play with everywhere we go. I have teeny, tiny animals in my purse, my car and frockin' bed, folks. My kids? Are obsessed with animals. I should just buy the entire Animal Toob company and be done with it. Anyway. That sole frog caused so much anguish in the tiny, compact space that would be my car, if it had not morphed into some demonic level of hell. Because the wrath of a child denied his or her heart's desire? Is a force not, I repeat, not to be reckoned with. Fortunately, at SDC, I came across a nature store that sold little toy animals. I frantically bought a variety of frogs and for good measure, some snakes and salamanders. Of course, I still lost the war because I had only bought ONE red salamander. Team Chaos spent the duration of the trip in tussles over that damned Red Salamander.

Anyway. Anjali Sr. has an excellent post on Skirt explaining how vacations become very unvacation-like when you become a parent. She also points out that in the end, it is all worth it. And she is right - seeing my children's faces full of awe and wonder at the things we saw was worth it. It is the reason why I will be dragging my weary body (and Red Salamander) to Omaha and St. Louis this summer as well.


The Butterfly Palace
We went to the lovely Butterfly Palace. I had told the kids we would be going to it and then, it turned out, our hotel was near it. We drove by the damned place multiple times every day. Every single morning, they asked about it - even Anjali. Finally, on the last day of the trip, we headed over to the place. They were beyond excited. I forked over the exorbitant entrance fee, grateful they were getting in free. We marched upstairs to view a movie, which they loved (although Anjali insisted on narrating the entire time in her outside voice. Which I supposed might have been a boost to the poor saps who did not know what the hell a butterfly or praying mantis was. She was helping, no?)

Then, we went into the hot, damp, muggy atrium thingie where the actual butterflies resided. Did I mention the hot, damp, muggy part?

Just by the entrance inside of the double doors with all sorts of signs warning you of the Fragility of Butterfly Life, some of the Palace personnel were releasing butterflies that had just emerged from their chrysalises. And it just happened to be at face level to my children.

Within 10 seconds of arrival, Arun managed to freak out, flap his arms wildly about and smush a butterfly. Awesome. Anjali, taking many of her social cues from Arun these days, proceeded to become unhinged as well. We spent all of 10 minutes in the atrium with a total Butterfly Body Count of about 2 (maybe 3, Mr. Postman was definitely limping by the time we scooted out of there.)

We went downstairs to look at frogs, turtles, lizards, cockroaches and centipedes, where the children were just thrilled. Frogs! Turtles! Lizards! Cockroaches! Centipedes!

Awesome.

Mugshot #1

The Butterfly Killer

Mugshot #2

His Accomplice.

BBQ and Bluegrass
I love going to Silver Dollar City this time of year, and we made it just before the BBQ and Bluegrass festival ends. After that, the Kids Festival begins and runs all damned summer long. The thought of that many children in one spot absolutely horrifies me, so I was extremely grateful we missed that. Because if nothing else, I am an excellent hypocrite. I do not mind foisting my lovelies on the rest of the world, but heaven forbid, should other folks want to bring their own precious progenies. Go me!

So, where was I? Oh. Yes. I love, love the BBQ and Bluegrass festival and this year, the kids did, too. They gobbled up some good food and danced away. As such, I have some great video of the kids dancing. However, the Embarrassment Quotient on it is pretty high for my sweet pair of severly uncoordinated goofballs and that EQ will only increase as junior high looms closer, no? Therefore, I am hesitant to post it. I have loads of thoughts like that rambling around in my skull these days - what should I post here? What should I not?

Howdy Podner. Pull Up a Chair.

Waiting for some damned music, already. Fools.


Spelunkin'
My parents took me through so many caves as a kid - one year, we did a total Cave Extravaganza - just driving through southern Missouri and northern Arkansas, veering off the roadway any time we saw a sign for "cave". I was really excited to do that this with the kids - we only did the Fantastic Caverns and the Marvel Cave, but I am hoping to kick it up a notch next year. They both loved the caves, although again, Miss Katie Couric had to narrate the trip. In the Fantastic Caverns, Anjali kept yelling "I don't wanna see DARK! I wanna see BATS! I wanna see BATS!" Lucky for her, we saw cute little bat just as we were leaving. In Marvel Cave, she kept yelling about the damned bats again, but added a new litany to her complains, "I wanna WALK! I wanna WALK!"

Folks, That's Some Serious Flare

Marvel Cave Tour Guide

Little Miss Can't Be Wrong

Safety Shmafety

Guard rails are meant to be ignored.

Is this where I run out of questions?

A few weeks back, I received an email from a site called Grandparents.com or something like that, which is why I am not bothering with linkage. It seemed like a nice enough place, from what I saw. They sent me an email asking me about my parents and something about how our relationship has gone since I have had children, etc. I did not end up replying because I really had nothing to report. My mom, dad, and step-mom are all stellar grandparents. They are great with the kids, the kids adore all of them and the grandparents are respectful towards X and I with our parenting decisions. And yes, my Olathe Grandma makes all the typical Worrywort Comments for which she is famous - it seems, invariably my kids are under dressed for whatever the weather, be it July or August (pneumonia knows no season, did you not know?) Nonetheless, she is the first to compliment my sister and me on our parenting skills.

But my aunt? Is not. And she is vocal about it. Granted, our relationship has always been strained, even when I was a little girl, she did not like me (or my sister, for that matter) and she had very, very little to do with us when we visited our grandma. However, since she lives with my grandma, with whom my sister and I are extremely close, our aunt is an unavoidable fixture in our lives.

Overall, this aunt is good with my kids. Sorta. If she was not constantly trying to ply them with cheap toys and junk food, it probably would be okay. But, no. She is relentless in her corn syrupy, trans fat laden culinary assault on my kids (assaults delicately colored in a lovely hue of Red #40, of course.) And the best part, is this: After these nasty, sugary treats, the kids get crazy and............. wait for it.....wait for it...... Yep - you guessed it - my aunt then complains about how wild the kids are.

Okay, all of this bad enough - the fact that my aunt is purposefully giving my kids food that she knows I do not want them to eat. But folks, it gets better - she will ask/show the kids the food first and then pulls the Your Mother Routine by telling the kids, "ask your mother" or "no, your mother won't let you have this". Listen, I do not mind being the bad guy. Ask Arun! Go ahead! He will tell you that I cackle with reckless abandon as I go about denying him his heart's desire.

No, no....the worst part of all about this twisted relationship is when my aunt talks about me when I am in another room. The transgressions are far and wide - they involve under dressing, a lack of socks or footwear or a hat or just general standards of behavior/safety that she and I do not agree upon.

Yesterday, at my great-grandmother's cousin's wife's house, I dropped in at the estate sale to check in on my grandma( she is the executor of this relative's estate and it has been a strain on her, I thought she would love to see the kids.) My aunt was there, foisting crap on my kids again. At one point, when I was in another room, I heard "blah blah their mother blah blah". It did not anger me - frankly, none of this infuriates me. It does annoy me, but I know the score - I am happily married and have two lovely children. My aunt has never been married, never had children. Folks. I let a lot slide by the way side in the name of compassion.

However, in a fit of insomnia last night I realized something. Something that struck me hard and rattled around in my chest. Sure, I may be irked but I am able to brush this off. Whatever, right? On the other hand, she is spewing this verbal trash in front of my children. And therefore, it must stop.

The next time this happens, I am going to very clear and calm about it. I am going to tell her in no uncertain terms that I am teaching my kids to respect her. And I expect the same. From now on, I do not want her talking about me negatively in front of my children.

The end.

Is that my present?

Truly, there was nothing particularly special or spectacular about this Christmas.

Christmas Eve, my dad, step-mom, siblings, nieces, nephews all came to our house. We gorged ourselves on cheese, sweets, quiche, meats, cheap wine and Boulevard Nutcracker Ale. Then, we threw wrapping paper haphazardly around like it grows on trees or something.

Christmas Day, Santa came and dropped off some things. More relatives came and brought more things. Overall, considering the volume of folks who came to our house, the gifts were not too overwhelming since most folks brought ONE toy per child - my mom even brought a combined gift for the kids, thus winning her the honor for Favorite Relative of 2008. Not bad. We stuffed ourselves on the traditional foods of the season. Then, everyone went home.

Truly, I hope that is how all the holidays go for my kids. Family, laughter, gifts, food, lights, and general obnoxiousness mixed with the occasional off-color joke.

It was a nice holiday and I could not ask for anything more. Except, a nap, perhaps.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

Mixed Media: WALL-E Meets Thomas

Fine Dining

Madam, would you like some fresh-tapped maple syrup for your waffle this evening? Some newly-churned butter, perhaps?

Snakes and Cheese

He will deign to flash these goofy grins now. Which look so NATURAL. Awesome.

Snakes

Maybe He's Born With It, Maybe It's Maybelline

Such eyelashage on a BOY? Not FAIR.

Top Chef

Project Runway

The Satisfied Grin of Someone Who Made Out Like a Bandit

Swirls of Hair

Where's my present, Mama?

Having a cousin celebrate her 3rd birthday so v. v. close to Christmas would probably confuse you, too. I almost felt sorry for the little guy.

Anyway, on to some randomy goodness.

First, Christine was the first one who recognized Pink Floyd's song title "Is there anybody out there?" Actually, not only did she recognize the title, she went on the quote some of the lyrics. Officially, I believe I have found a new BFF. We can totally hang and braid each others' hair. I do owe props to Rozanne who did recognize it was a Pink Floyd song. But still, no hair braiding for you, Rozanne. Sorry. Maybe a unicorn candle instead?

Second, on Friday, I spent 3 hours putting together the play kitchen and the table/chair set. Holy cow. The kitchen came with a complicated pack of screws containing no less than TEN different sets, plus a variety of nuts. I am almost done with it, I just need to hang the doors and for that, I need help. It was a nice time, actually. I took the portable DVD player and hid in the basement while watching Christmas Vacation and The Christmas Story. Today, I am going to hide in the basement to wrap gifts and spring toys from their blister-pack prisons while watching Love Actually (again, for the millionth time) and perhaps, Elf.

Third, I am feeling significantly less bad about the amount of gifts our kids are getting. The kitchen and table set will be used for years and I am very happy with the quality of both. Also, nearly all the toys the kids are getting actually complement toys they already own. For example, the stocking stuffers for Anjali are little Diego and Dora dolls to use with the Rescue Center that Arun got last Christmas. They love playing with the center together, but there was only one Diego included and they tend to fight over him.

Fourth, I am nearly done Christmas shopping. I need to buy X's stocking stuffers (a hunk of parrano cheese and some sugar-free vanilla syrup for lattes), but other than that? Done.

Fifth, I am nearly done buying food for the two gatherings I am hosting. Christmas Eve will find my dad, step-mom, siblings, etc noshing on a variety of snackage purchased from Costco - cheese, meats, quiche, artichoke/jalapeno dip. Christmas Day will find both of my grandmothers, my mother, great-uncle, cousin, and aunt scarfing down turkey, fresh cranberry sauce and all the other traditional culinary delights of the season.

Sixth, it appears I will meeting some former high school BFFs this following weekend. Thanks to the glory that be Facebook, the four of us have reconnected after nearly 15 years. I see some Spanx and cabbage soup in my future. *gulp*

Seventh, when will I learn to NOT let my children play with my phone? When? Never? I have actually gotten a rainbow screen of death on the damned thing.

Eighth, Merry Christmas!

Text: When the 2008 Peace Accords were ratified by a 2/3 majority, the lone dissenter staged a protest.

Day 16: Is it Christmas yet?

I like gossip and snark as much as the next person. But when some anonymous chickenshit blogger uses their space to go all Judge Judy and poop hatred merely for the sheer purpose of pooping hatred. Well? That crosses the line for me. People suck, sometimes. Especially when such lilly-livered individuals target a good friend of mine.

So, to escape the hatred, I hung out on my spider messageboard all weekend. And then? Found myself embroiled in a minor controversy as to the number of crickets and method of how I feed my tarantula. Awesome! This coming on the heels of someone on Flickr leaving nasty comments about the size of Sofia's enclosure. So, for the first ever in my history of Flickrage, I had to block someone, then they began emailing asking if they could buy Sofia from me. I guess to save her? For reals?? It is not as if Sofia tries to make a break for it every time I open her cage. Sometimes, I swear she is wagging her spinnerets in glee. Okay, maybe not. But still - I wonder if PETA has glommed onto the 8-legged cause or what.

Okay. *breathes deeply* My happy place? My den of Zen? Is here, so I best be moving on.

On Friday, Chocolate Covered Susan and I went to the Union Station on Friday. The kids rode the historic Holiday Spirit train that used to be the Jones Store in downtown Kansas City. Then, we got to the see the huge model train extravaganza they have going on. It was so awesome that on our way back from Crown Center, we did all the train stuff again. I am even considering one more trip over there before the holidays end and it all goes away. The train ride was $3/person, the model train display was free. The train ride was cute because I thought Anjali was too little for it, but the minute she saw Arun get on board, she began straining against her stroller harness while exclaiming "Please! Please!".
Resistance? It be futile:

Riding the Holiday Spirit at Kansas City's Union Station from Kelli Oliver George on Vimeo.


After the train ride, we headed over to Crown Center. It just so happened that Santa was there and he was looking quite lonely (read: No lines!) so we squeezed in a quick chat with weirdie beardie while there. On cue, Arun asked for a toy snake for himself and a toy kitchen for his sister. Then all the kids played in the Crayola toyland thingie for awhile. It was such a great day - nothing fancy and not even very expensive.

The Most Perfect Picture Ever For a Christmas Card, No?

Too damned bad that I already used a far inferior picture for our card and said cards are already addressed. Officially, I SUCK.

Entralled

A Kansas City Icon, Made Entirely Out of Legos

The View? Stunning.
My snapshot of it? Not so much.

Oh, Santa Baby

Is it Christmas yet?

I realize now why Advent calendars were invented. It is merely a convenient way to visually assist a 3 year old through the month of December without having a panic attack that he may have missed the Big Day. I mean, not that my own personal Ankle Biter would pester me endlessly with such silly questions. Not six times on the very first day of December itself. Never. Ever.

*sigh*

Last night, we decorated the tree. I am sure Arun and Anjali will treasure all those precious, sweet, gooeylicious memories of me screeching at them constantly to just not break shit, great balls of fire, don't touch, DON'T TOUCH, what the fuck did I tell you already, put it down! PUT IT DOWN!

But really? I am enjoying the holidays thus far. Thanksgiving was a snap. And my Christmas shopping? Is nearly completed although I have only just began. Awesome. I will do one single foray into the mall and the madness, but I really do not have much shopping planned. Furthermore, I am hoping to do most of my shopping in brick and mortar stores as I am trying to buy as much possible from local vendors this year.

I am definitely in the holiday mood this year and frankly, my family has so much to do with it. Our keeping it simple this year was the best idea ever. I feel now I can focus on the fun stuff - listening to music, driving around to see Christmas lights, going to some Christmas tree festivals and seeing some gingerbread house exhibits. And? I am even contemplating baking some Romanian kiflis. Yes, I have lost my mind, folks.

One of my favorite memories from Christmas are the stockings. Long after we had stopped believing in Santa Claus, my sister and I still looked forward to our stockings. At both our Mom's house and our Dad and Step-Mom's, we always got stockings full of fun little things - candy, lip gloss, sunflower seeds, nail polish, sardines (I LOVE sardines) and all sorts of doo dads. I am SO excited about the stockings for my own little family. Earlier this year, I had commissioned some from Brit through her Etsy store, Thrown and Sewn. I could not be more thrilled with what she just sent. I hope my children treasure their stocking memories as much I treasure mine.