The Lost Weekend

Last Friday, I promised more posting.  Then, I headed out for lunch and a movie with Team Chaos.  While at that movie, my grandma (89), great-uncle (93) and aunt (69) were in a high-speed car wreck (For those of you in the area, the crash was near Paola on 169, a divided highway notorious for wrecks.) Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt -- the hospital checked out their bruises, banged up ribs, missing toe nails and then sent them on their way.

Then, my grandma went home, fell in her garage and broke her femur.

(Totally Tangential: I recommend that you never, ever break your femur.  Particularly, if you are 89 years old.  Trust me on this, Gentle Reader.)

(Definitely Digressive: Broken bones freak me out.  FREAK! ME! OUT!)

So, I spent Friday and Saturday night in the hospital with my grandma.  Two of the most emotionally wrenching nights of my life.  Her surgery wasn't until Saturday, so Friday was a rough go of things (also, did I mention that broken bones FREAK ME OUT?  Every time she squirmed and writhed in bed, it FREAKED ME OUT that she was going to hurt herself even worse.)  Saturday night was hardly better because as it turns out, 89 year olds do not metabolize anesthesia very well (who knew?!) and every time she woke up, she wanted to get out of bed because she did not necessarily realize that she was in the hospital (Oh!  And just in case I have not already mentioned it, broken bones FREAK. ME. OUT.)

Fortunately for us, we have a lot of family in our family (Positively Parenthetical: Also, the Huggins  cult clan Family is sort of like the Hotel California.  You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.  Just ask my mom! She divorced my dad 30 years ago yet still comes to Thanksgiving dinner, along with several other former in-laws.)    On Saturday, many of  us descended upon the waiting room at the hospital.  I should note that our family deals with stress and crisis through inappropriate humor and as such, you are free to feel offended by the rest of the post.

Facebook Is Not Just For Friends

Old Man in Straight Jacket Repose

Much of my extended family is on Facebook.  To pass the time, my cousin Candi and I took pictures of anyone who fell asleep, then posted the snaps to Facebook for the viewing benefit of the rest of the family who were not able to show up to the party hosted in my Grandma's broken femur honor.  My Uncle Ted is not actually in a straight-jacket, but if you met many of the Huggins cult clan  Family, you would wonder why more of us are not in straight jackets.  Ahem.  (Note: No great-uncles were harmed in the taking of photographs.)

Team Chaos Steps Up To the Plate

Excuse me for a moment while I brag on my kids because they blew me away last week.  They were incredibly patient with all of the back and forth to the hospital mixed in with some staying with my aunt.  Anjali has struggled with my staying over night, but she did agreed that we should take care of our family when they are sick.  It was a lot for them to take in during such an emotional week and frankly, I am ridiculously proud of how well-behaved they have been.  I wish I could say that *I* have handled all this stress as well, so perhaps I can learn something from them?  

My favorite quote during the week was from Arun when he plaintively asked "So, did they put Grandma's body back together yet?"  Aptly put, little guy.

Inappropriate Emoticons 
While it was convenient that so many family members are on the texting bandwagon, it was unfortunate that my smiley face emoticon was right next to the period I so desperately needed to end many of the statements I was trying to text.  Hello there!  My grandma broke her femur and here is a SMILEY FACE to express how I feel about that!

Tablet Tableau
If you ever find yourself in a situation to where you might be sitting for extended periods in a waiting room, hospital or rehab center, I highly recommend that you swing by a Big Box Store on your way to said facility and grab yourself a tablet of some sorts.  I have a Kindle Fire and this thing was worthy of Olympic Gold this past week.  It carried the two books I am reading while allowing me convenient access to Words with Friends, Draw Something, Facebook, my news sites, email, etc.  I was grateful that I was able to just throw it in my purse and not have to hassle with a laptop.   The other benefit of having the trusty Fire by my side is that I was able to battle bigotry and homophobic hatred single-handedly on Facebook.  It was comforting to know that when someone was wrong on the Internet, I could be there in a jiffy to save it from itself!

However, the downside is that when I had the Kindle Fire with me, my daughter was unable to perform her daily toilet-related "ministrations".  Some people need the National Enquirer for their daily constitution, my wee girl needs the Kindle Fire.  *shrugs*

Grandmas!  They're Just Like the Stars!
The first night of rehab, I went to stay with my Grandma to help her settle in.

Me (Snickering): I can't WAIT to tell people my grandma is in rehab.  REHAB! The shame! Should I tell folks that you're in Betty Ford or Promises?  Promises sounds a bit classier, don't you think?

Grandma (Laughing): Oh, Kelli

Me: And I am totally going to blame it on the booze.  We don't want folks to know about your little problem with nose candy.

To her credit, she kept on laughing.  And may it be a long time before she stops laughing.  I know that I am fortunate to have such a close relationship with my grandma.  I also know that I am lucky to have had my grandma for this long in my life.

The problem is that when you love someone, there will never be enough time.

Love Scene (Version 6)

Pink Floyd, Zabriskie Point (Extended 1997 Release)

It's Wedding Week here at Rancid Raves! (Part 1 is here)

By the end of the day, Arun had collected a snail, more than one caterpillar and a myriad of leaves, pods and seeds.  Thank the little baby Zeus for Oxyclean.

I just loved this shot of my dad dancing with Anjali and Alaina.  I know some folks get snarky and nasty with the entire "wearing a kilt" thing, but my dad did the research into our family to get the appropriate tartan.  He loves wearing the kilt and feels completely comfortable doing so.


Furthermore, he looks quite handsome.

All the naysayers can bite me.

Double-fisting the drink.  We were so proud.


We did get the long-awaited cousin shot that my dad has spent years asking for..  This was the best snap of the bunch.

Better luck next wedding?  Sigh.

Nobody got tagged the entire day by the tire swing.  Folks, that is what you call a goddamned miracle.

Love Scene (Version 4)

Pink Floyd, Zabriskie Point (Extended 1997 Release)


Welcome to Wedding Week at Rancid Raves....

My sister Maureen got married this past weekend.

It was such a lovely, fun wedding full of laughter, tears, wine, music and rain.

Let me rephrase that - it was such a lovely, fun OUTDOOR wedding full of laughter, tears, wine, music and rain.

RAIN.

Team Chaos was stylin' and profilin'.  When Arun tried on his tux for the first time, he exclaimed, "I look like a DAD!!!!!!"


The wedding was held at the Williams House in Lawrence KS.    A gorgeous location.


It started to pour rain just as Maureen and my dad started to walk down the path.  The entire ceremony was conducted in the rain.  However, we Oliver Sisters just don't sweat weddings and Maureen had such a sweet, positive attitude.  She didn't let it ruin her day, that's for sure.  And the reception was mostly under a tent.  Which helped.


As did the Oliver wine.

Arun got to spend an entire day with his favorite cousin Brendan.  An ENTIRE DAY.  He was on Cloud 9, folks.

A lobbyist wearing a pin-striped seersucker apparently did a Marty McFly from 1850 Louisiana in order to join us present-day  Seriously, LOVE THE SUIT.

The mad scientist from Jurassic Park took a break from wrangling dinosaurs to join us.  The guy in the kilt double-fisting drinks?  None other than MY DAD.  Clan Frasier, represent!  And yes, there is a bone-handled knife tucked into his sock.  In case we are attacked by a roving band of wild-turkeys.  Or Democrats..

Lookin' good, Mr. Kotter!

Anjali has obsessed about this wedding the entire year.  The cake had purple flowers, per her "instructions" but there was no ice sculpture as she had so hoped there would be.

Alaina and Anjali gained a new cousin-in-law this weekend.  We gained a new brother-in-law (a brother-in-law who dated Maureen long enough to know what it means to be marrying an Oliver.  No excuses, Brian.)

And we couldn't be happier.

Congratulations, Maureen and Brian.  May your basement always be filled with potatoes.

New Cousins for Everybody.

In one fell swoop yesterday on her Facebook wall, my sister announced her pregnancy and an intention to get a new puppy.  I am really excited about this new puppy because now Lucy will have another puppy with whom to play.  Quite simply, the cats are not appreciative of Lucy's futile attempts at friendship.  My brother has a dog,  but seriously, Shakey is such a molester I really would feel bad subjecting our little Queen Elizabeth I to Shakey's humping proclivities.  Wrong, it just feels wrong.

I am going to tell Arun today about his forthcoming new little cousin.  Of course, this is going to hop us right onto the subject train of Human Reproduction.  We have been at the depot for awhile, so I am a little prepared for this.  He knows the difference between mammals, reptiles, birds, dinosaurs, etc - we have been discussing this for a long time now.  He just has not actually asked how all these eggs, babies, etc "get in there" in the first place.

One of the more difficult things I have found in parenting is the "teacher part".  I am not, by nature, a teacher.  And I find myself having to be careful about how I explain things to a 4 year old - sure, I know the adult explanations for how things work, but I do struggle sometimes on how to simplify explanations so that Arun can understand.  Evolution, for example.  We have dipped our toe into that conversation, but I pulled back because I need to do more research to figure out the simplest way for him to understand.

Probably, my biggest worry with the sex talk is other parents.  I am not concerned with telling my son the truth.  However, I am very, very concerned with him getting the story wrong and attempting to tell a classmate.  Or worse, getting the story so very wrong that weird stuff happens and we get child services called on us (one of my greatest fears and paranoias is child services. *shudder*)

And I am very excited about this new niece or nephew.  I know it will be hard, a little, because I had always wanted 3 babies and I am feeling it deeply as Anjali marches on a sure path right past toddlerhood (and right into tweendom, it seem,s on some days.)  I would be lying if I said I am not feeling wistful - there will be no third baby for us. 

So, our crazy, chaotic family is about to ramp it up a notch.  I hope you are ready Rogers Baby #4, because we are not a people who holds back.  Also, I hope you like to be held because there will be no shortage of arms.


Nothing to Add, per se.

I have nothing to add with all of the dialogue going on about Haiti - I have no personal stories, nothing to say that would not come across as pithy.  I did want to include links to a variety of organizations.  If nothing else, it is simply amazing that in this day and age, it is easier than ever before to help folks in need.  Yesterday, at Costco, they told me they are taking donations there and I was able to simply add my donation to my purchase. I am also hoping to make a donation to Doctors without Borders.  I tend to lean towards them first  - my eye doctor is a member and his stories over the years have been very inspirational for me..
Doctors Without Borders,  
American Red Cross,  
Hope For Haiti,  
Compassion International

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him - Is he still wrong?

Lest folks think that X stood with a whip under the ladder as I embarked upon Adventures in Larvae Eviction, let me be clear. X was all for calling an exterminator. But he married me, Kelli Courtney Oliver. I grew up in a house where my parents did as much as they could on their own before calling a knowledgeable friend to help. If that failed? Then, you called a professional.

And I married a man who is all about hiring folks to do things. We work it out, we find our common ground. Sometimes, that common ground finds me on a ladder, cursing him. But hey, it works for us.

My post last week was really about the Grind of it all, the special blend that comprises many SAHMs days.

I suspect every single person out there has their own house blend of Grind.

**************

I read several blogs where every Monday there is much grumbling about a busy weekend and how tired they are. I am generally very selfish with my weekends. Fridays and Saturdays are open, but I try to keep Sundays free for doing "our" stuff - the gym, laundry, housework. It is a holdback from my days of college, trying to catch up on homework and then later, my days of working, trying to catch up on housework before another crazy week began.

This weekend was an exception to our rule because we had a family event on Sunday. And Saturday? Was crazy - we went to the Scottish Highland Games, then trucked over to Tonganoxie to hang out at my sister's house, then went to a friend's house to watch the Tonganoxie City Fireworks. It was a great day, but I was really scrambling on Sunday to catch up. Not because I was over-loaded with work, but rather, because I am used to being extremely lazy on Sundays.

Anyway - Highland Games were totally worth it! The smells (pipes, and Scottish meat pies), the sounds (pipes, Scottish meat pies) and the sights.

Also, I have a special Scottish edition of Handbag Thursday coming this week - stay tuned.

If one grandpa can wear a lungi, why can't the other wear a kilt?

Clan Fraser, Represent!

It is rumored in tight circles that my step-mom had an inkling as to what she was getting into when she married my dad. However, in her defense, he was NOT wearing skirts back then.

Future Clansman

Kilted.

The Games themselves were awesome to watch - brute tests of strength with lots of grunting and cheering. FUN. However, I loved how some of the contestants' kilts were daintily tucked behind the chairs as if to not wrinkle them.

*Drool*
Insert your own damned NomNom noises [HERE]*

Scottish meat pies are the bomb, but fortunately, not the Belly kinda of bomb. Ahem.

*I am very weary of the LOLcatese that has proliferated blogs these days. Dude, you are NOT a frocking cat. Speak HUMAN!

Are they twins?

Note: This post is dedicated to the talented Eric Carle. Because of him, my sweet baby girl chirps "CAKE!" when you ask her what a caterpillar eats. It is definitely worth the critical error in his book since butterflies actually emerge from a chrysalis, not a cocoon, Mr. Carle.

Every now and then, as Anjali has gotten bigger, I get the Twins Question regarding Team Chaos. They are always in their stroller when I am asked this seemingly odd question and I suspect the size difference must not be as obvious while they are sitting down. Or something like that, since truthfully, I do not think they look like they could be twins. Not in the least. However, at Silver Dollar City, I got this question several times. Huh.

Anyway, I have finally uploaded vacation snaps to Flickr. Overall, the trip to Branson and Silver Dollar City (SDC) was a good one. I cannot recommend Branson enough - it is so family friendly and reasonably priced. Anju and Arun got in free to most things because they hit the "3 and under" requirement quite nicely this year. Furthermore, all the attractions within Silver Dollar City are free - even Marvel Cave! Food and souvenirs are reasonably priced as well.

In fact, some of their toys were cheaper than what I have paid for in the past - case in point, we have a collection of frogs at home. Sadly, I had only brought one, solitary, single frog with us when I scooped up some animals to bring along and yes, we must have animals to play with everywhere we go. I have teeny, tiny animals in my purse, my car and frockin' bed, folks. My kids? Are obsessed with animals. I should just buy the entire Animal Toob company and be done with it. Anyway. That sole frog caused so much anguish in the tiny, compact space that would be my car, if it had not morphed into some demonic level of hell. Because the wrath of a child denied his or her heart's desire? Is a force not, I repeat, not to be reckoned with. Fortunately, at SDC, I came across a nature store that sold little toy animals. I frantically bought a variety of frogs and for good measure, some snakes and salamanders. Of course, I still lost the war because I had only bought ONE red salamander. Team Chaos spent the duration of the trip in tussles over that damned Red Salamander.

Anyway. Anjali Sr. has an excellent post on Skirt explaining how vacations become very unvacation-like when you become a parent. She also points out that in the end, it is all worth it. And she is right - seeing my children's faces full of awe and wonder at the things we saw was worth it. It is the reason why I will be dragging my weary body (and Red Salamander) to Omaha and St. Louis this summer as well.


The Butterfly Palace
We went to the lovely Butterfly Palace. I had told the kids we would be going to it and then, it turned out, our hotel was near it. We drove by the damned place multiple times every day. Every single morning, they asked about it - even Anjali. Finally, on the last day of the trip, we headed over to the place. They were beyond excited. I forked over the exorbitant entrance fee, grateful they were getting in free. We marched upstairs to view a movie, which they loved (although Anjali insisted on narrating the entire time in her outside voice. Which I supposed might have been a boost to the poor saps who did not know what the hell a butterfly or praying mantis was. She was helping, no?)

Then, we went into the hot, damp, muggy atrium thingie where the actual butterflies resided. Did I mention the hot, damp, muggy part?

Just by the entrance inside of the double doors with all sorts of signs warning you of the Fragility of Butterfly Life, some of the Palace personnel were releasing butterflies that had just emerged from their chrysalises. And it just happened to be at face level to my children.

Within 10 seconds of arrival, Arun managed to freak out, flap his arms wildly about and smush a butterfly. Awesome. Anjali, taking many of her social cues from Arun these days, proceeded to become unhinged as well. We spent all of 10 minutes in the atrium with a total Butterfly Body Count of about 2 (maybe 3, Mr. Postman was definitely limping by the time we scooted out of there.)

We went downstairs to look at frogs, turtles, lizards, cockroaches and centipedes, where the children were just thrilled. Frogs! Turtles! Lizards! Cockroaches! Centipedes!

Awesome.

Mugshot #1

The Butterfly Killer

Mugshot #2

His Accomplice.

BBQ and Bluegrass
I love going to Silver Dollar City this time of year, and we made it just before the BBQ and Bluegrass festival ends. After that, the Kids Festival begins and runs all damned summer long. The thought of that many children in one spot absolutely horrifies me, so I was extremely grateful we missed that. Because if nothing else, I am an excellent hypocrite. I do not mind foisting my lovelies on the rest of the world, but heaven forbid, should other folks want to bring their own precious progenies. Go me!

So, where was I? Oh. Yes. I love, love the BBQ and Bluegrass festival and this year, the kids did, too. They gobbled up some good food and danced away. As such, I have some great video of the kids dancing. However, the Embarrassment Quotient on it is pretty high for my sweet pair of severly uncoordinated goofballs and that EQ will only increase as junior high looms closer, no? Therefore, I am hesitant to post it. I have loads of thoughts like that rambling around in my skull these days - what should I post here? What should I not?

Howdy Podner. Pull Up a Chair.

Waiting for some damned music, already. Fools.


Spelunkin'
My parents took me through so many caves as a kid - one year, we did a total Cave Extravaganza - just driving through southern Missouri and northern Arkansas, veering off the roadway any time we saw a sign for "cave". I was really excited to do that this with the kids - we only did the Fantastic Caverns and the Marvel Cave, but I am hoping to kick it up a notch next year. They both loved the caves, although again, Miss Katie Couric had to narrate the trip. In the Fantastic Caverns, Anjali kept yelling "I don't wanna see DARK! I wanna see BATS! I wanna see BATS!" Lucky for her, we saw cute little bat just as we were leaving. In Marvel Cave, she kept yelling about the damned bats again, but added a new litany to her complains, "I wanna WALK! I wanna WALK!"

Folks, That's Some Serious Flare

Marvel Cave Tour Guide

Little Miss Can't Be Wrong

Safety Shmafety

Guard rails are meant to be ignored.

Is this where I run out of questions?

A few weeks back, I received an email from a site called Grandparents.com or something like that, which is why I am not bothering with linkage. It seemed like a nice enough place, from what I saw. They sent me an email asking me about my parents and something about how our relationship has gone since I have had children, etc. I did not end up replying because I really had nothing to report. My mom, dad, and step-mom are all stellar grandparents. They are great with the kids, the kids adore all of them and the grandparents are respectful towards X and I with our parenting decisions. And yes, my Olathe Grandma makes all the typical Worrywort Comments for which she is famous - it seems, invariably my kids are under dressed for whatever the weather, be it July or August (pneumonia knows no season, did you not know?) Nonetheless, she is the first to compliment my sister and me on our parenting skills.

But my aunt? Is not. And she is vocal about it. Granted, our relationship has always been strained, even when I was a little girl, she did not like me (or my sister, for that matter) and she had very, very little to do with us when we visited our grandma. However, since she lives with my grandma, with whom my sister and I are extremely close, our aunt is an unavoidable fixture in our lives.

Overall, this aunt is good with my kids. Sorta. If she was not constantly trying to ply them with cheap toys and junk food, it probably would be okay. But, no. She is relentless in her corn syrupy, trans fat laden culinary assault on my kids (assaults delicately colored in a lovely hue of Red #40, of course.) And the best part, is this: After these nasty, sugary treats, the kids get crazy and............. wait for it.....wait for it...... Yep - you guessed it - my aunt then complains about how wild the kids are.

Okay, all of this bad enough - the fact that my aunt is purposefully giving my kids food that she knows I do not want them to eat. But folks, it gets better - she will ask/show the kids the food first and then pulls the Your Mother Routine by telling the kids, "ask your mother" or "no, your mother won't let you have this". Listen, I do not mind being the bad guy. Ask Arun! Go ahead! He will tell you that I cackle with reckless abandon as I go about denying him his heart's desire.

No, no....the worst part of all about this twisted relationship is when my aunt talks about me when I am in another room. The transgressions are far and wide - they involve under dressing, a lack of socks or footwear or a hat or just general standards of behavior/safety that she and I do not agree upon.

Yesterday, at my great-grandmother's cousin's wife's house, I dropped in at the estate sale to check in on my grandma( she is the executor of this relative's estate and it has been a strain on her, I thought she would love to see the kids.) My aunt was there, foisting crap on my kids again. At one point, when I was in another room, I heard "blah blah their mother blah blah". It did not anger me - frankly, none of this infuriates me. It does annoy me, but I know the score - I am happily married and have two lovely children. My aunt has never been married, never had children. Folks. I let a lot slide by the way side in the name of compassion.

However, in a fit of insomnia last night I realized something. Something that struck me hard and rattled around in my chest. Sure, I may be irked but I am able to brush this off. Whatever, right? On the other hand, she is spewing this verbal trash in front of my children. And therefore, it must stop.

The next time this happens, I am going to very clear and calm about it. I am going to tell her in no uncertain terms that I am teaching my kids to respect her. And I expect the same. From now on, I do not want her talking about me negatively in front of my children.

The end.

Since KFC stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken, why the heck do they play Sweet Home Alabama in the commercials?

Last year, I set up a blog for my sister - she is a runner and goes by the online moniker of Marathon Mom (she has run a half-marathon and has a goal of running an entire one someday.) I thought she might enjoy having a space of her own to share her thoughts, maybe some of her poetry. I think she has enjoyed her little site and I am glad I set it up for her.

Today, it is her birthday. She is coming over for lunch, our grandma is coming, too and I will be serving some ziti (Average Jane's baked ziti recipe ROCKS.) I think it will be a nice day.

I remember the day she was born. I was at my grandma's house when we got the call that I had a new little sister (remember those days when you had to wait until the actual birth to find out if it was a boy or a girl??) I was so excited and enamored of her in the beginning. Sadly, over the years, I did not appreciate her and treated her like a little pest. Fortunately, my sister is the bigger person and has forgiven me for not being such a great sibling while we were growing up.

Now? She is one of my greatest inspirations. She is such a loving, caring mother, friend and wife, it is hard not to be inspired by her. She never stops growing, learning and striving to become a better person.

So today, I am just asking that you folks hop over to her place and wish her a happy birthday. At this point, it seems that this year is going to present her and her little family with some new challenges. It is nothing bad, just a new situation for them that will need to be navigated. It would be nice for her to start off her 33rd year with some good wishes.

Is that my present?

Truly, there was nothing particularly special or spectacular about this Christmas.

Christmas Eve, my dad, step-mom, siblings, nieces, nephews all came to our house. We gorged ourselves on cheese, sweets, quiche, meats, cheap wine and Boulevard Nutcracker Ale. Then, we threw wrapping paper haphazardly around like it grows on trees or something.

Christmas Day, Santa came and dropped off some things. More relatives came and brought more things. Overall, considering the volume of folks who came to our house, the gifts were not too overwhelming since most folks brought ONE toy per child - my mom even brought a combined gift for the kids, thus winning her the honor for Favorite Relative of 2008. Not bad. We stuffed ourselves on the traditional foods of the season. Then, everyone went home.

Truly, I hope that is how all the holidays go for my kids. Family, laughter, gifts, food, lights, and general obnoxiousness mixed with the occasional off-color joke.

It was a nice holiday and I could not ask for anything more. Except, a nap, perhaps.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

Mixed Media: WALL-E Meets Thomas

Fine Dining

Madam, would you like some fresh-tapped maple syrup for your waffle this evening? Some newly-churned butter, perhaps?

Snakes and Cheese

He will deign to flash these goofy grins now. Which look so NATURAL. Awesome.

Snakes

Maybe He's Born With It, Maybe It's Maybelline

Such eyelashage on a BOY? Not FAIR.

Top Chef

Project Runway

The Satisfied Grin of Someone Who Made Out Like a Bandit

Swirls of Hair

Which arm rest is yours when you sit in a movie theater?

I rarely go to the movies - maybe once a year. We have such a nice TV and sound system at home that it is hard for me to use precious time sans the Double As to go sit in a darkened theater. I would rather be doing something, not just sitting there. I can do that at home, while the kids run circles around me. Therefore, it was odd that I managed to squeeze in not one, but two movies over the holiday weekend. I saw Four Christmases (surprisingly, it was utterly delightful! I highly recommend it!) and I saw Twilight (an excellent, A+ movie for a slightly cheesy, B+ book.) Truthfully? I am going to go all cougar-like and try to see Twilight again. Besides, I promised Goofy Girl I would see it with her and this cougar keeps her promises.

Overall, Thanksgiving was really nice, even though X had to run to Philadelphia over the weekend for some family business. He was here for the Big Day of White People Food, so that was what counted. The holidays really make me appreciate my family - there was no stress, everyone brought food to the hall that we rented, and everyone pitched in to clean up. On Friday, X headed to PA and I headed to my dad's for Round 2 of White People Food.

I am going to wrap up with pictures and a special video of my dad. Keep in mind that my dad is the very same guy who proudly wears his "You say redneck like it's a bad thing" t-shirt. This bit of information is crucial for maximum enjoyment of the video to come.

Putting on Her Best Godzilla Moves

My Grandpa is Crazier Than Yours!

My Step-Mom, Entombed for Eternity in the Family Freezer

This is the top of a cake with a picture of my step-mom on it. Over the past year, it has melted and morphed. It is like art, no? My dad thought it would be hilarious to stick it in the freezer. And he would be correct.

My dad, the ultimate tightwad, keeps all this ice in the freezer for his camping trips because you know, "water is free". Therefore, why should he PAY for ice? Watch the video for his explanation. I swear, there should be a special spot of honor for my ever-patient step-mom. God, are you listening?



My Dad, the Redneck. Not that there is anything wrong with that. from Kelli Oliver George on Vimeo.