I try to keep things fairly light here. I also try to keep things fairly confined to me, myself and I. Oh sure, I unabashedly hawk my children's privacy in the grand tradition of Blog Fodder, but overall, I do try to keep a down low on the Drama.
As such, I have not talked much about my friend J's cancer. Something that is on my mind every single day and often, in my dreams now. Here on this wee site, I leave out most of my fears for her. The horror of what she is facing and how I look at my own children and wonder if she will even live long enough to experience the same milestones as I am with them.
As such, I do not talk much about how terribly I miss my Aunt Peggy and how the little things will rise up and smack me upside the head. Like, this historical election of which I desperately want know what she thinks (I had a dream about that, as well.) Like, how her birthday was this past Saturday. So, no. I do not talk about how I still get weepy over my Aunt Peggy's absence. She was 87 and I know that we were so very lucky to have had her as long as I did.
As such, there are a myriad of other things going on around here that I just do not talk about here.
I also do not talk much about autism here. How it has affected my brother's life and now my younger nephew's life. I do not talk about the frustrations I have felt as I have seen my father, stepmother, sister and brother-in-law all navigate the mystery that is autism. The frustrations they have faced in finding resources - good grief, even in getting a diagnosis. The frustration my sister feels when folks stare at the supposedly "bad mother with the bratty, out-of-control son" because my nephew is totally freaking out because he absolutely, positively terrified to his very core during a thunderstorm. The frustration my brother is feeling as he tries to find his place in this world post-high school graduation. The list of frustrations goes on and on and on.....
I do not talk much about those frustrations because I do not feel that they are my stories to tell. It has absolutely nothing to do with shame or hiding. I love Nolan and Will for who they are and autism is a part of that. To reject the autistic part, would be to reject them.
I am okay with talking about this today because this Saturday, I am taking Anjali and Arun on a walk. Specifically, on a Walk Now For Autism - we are on the Teaminators team. If you would like to donate actual dimes and nickels towards this cause that would be cool - although, in this economy, it would be perfectly understable if you would rather just send thoughts and prayers. Those would be just as much appreciated.
Um. Also. If you would also like to donate some advice as to how I explain to a 3 year old that his much-adored cousin and uncle are different, but are not sick, that would also be cool. I would be grateful. I realized just last night, I need some way to explain to Arun why we are going out to the Kansas Speedway and walking.