October 31, 2005
Holy Shit. Two Weeks ALREADY?
Two Weeks and TONS of Tricks of My Sleeves Already
Good grief. I can’t believe Arun is two weeks old. I can’t believe he will finally wear his little Halloween outfit that I purchased back in AUGUST, in a fit of prenatal excitement. I can’t believe that nursing him is not agonizing anymore. I can’t believe that he gained 13 freakin’ ounces when I had him weighed last Thursday. In short, I still can'tbelieve the little dude is HERE. Wandering around in a delusional haze of sleep deprivation will do that to a person, I suppose.
I had someone comment that I seemed pretty relaxed about the whole affair, and I would say that for the most part, I AM pretty comfortable with most of what's been going on. I am still shaking my head at how much easier this has been than I thought*. Frankly, the hardest times with Arun so far pale in comparison with some of my past jobs. Furthermore, Arun comes with some obvious perks that my prior gigs never ponied up - at least Arun is not a lazy, negative, ladder-climbing, backstabber, right? (although I can't seem to shake the whole "On-call 24/7" part. DAMMIT.) Anyway, Arun is so damned snuggly and sweet right now that a poopy diaper here and a squalling fit there are worth the price of admission. He also frequently rewards us with what I have been calling “accidental smiles”. Of COURSE, he is way too young to actually be doing REAL smiles, but often, after he has eaten and is lying in a drunken, milk-induced stupor, his little mouth will purse left and right into little smiles. He has even laughed twice, which actually, was a tad creepy since newborns don’t show much emotion. It will certainly be adorable when he does all this shit for real, though.
As comfortable as I feel in this new role, I still have had my Freak Out moments. I am still not comfortable bathing him, for example. Thank goodness, the kid doesn’t have stinky sweat yet as his mama has been quite neglectful in the bathing area since I am still scared to do it. The umbilical cord stump didn’t help - which brings us to my other Freak Out moment. No one warns you how gross it is when the stump falls off. I thought something was WRONG and frantically called the Birth Center at the hospital to speak to a nurse. I had imagined the stump falling off and my precious baby’s perfect little belly button would magically appear. SO NOT THE CASE. My other freak out moment? The 1st time his little head hunched over in his car seat.** I drove home the whole way in Niagara Falls-worthy Tears Fest after having stopped to try and prop his noggin back up to no avail. I was only 5 minutes from home, but they were the longest 5 minutes of my life, with my accelerating slower than my Grandma at every stop light, people honking and zooming to get around me. OH MY - how far I had come since I was that very asshole driver myself a scant 2 weeks ago. Paybacks are a bitch, they say.
So again, everything is still going well thus far. He nurses like a champ and for the most part, sleeps so well. With one exception. We have what I have been calling the Witching Hour. From the late evening - say around 9-10 pm to about 12-1am, he is very fussy. He doesn’t actually launch into real crying or screaming, as long as we hold him. THANK GOD for the book The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp AND for my very sensible doctor. Why? Both have sanctioned that a little co-sleeping is not harmful to a child as long as 1) the parents are not obese and 2) the parents aren’t drunk . As my doctor observed, the majority of the world co-sleeps and it could be argued that we Westerners are the weird ones. NO, I don’t plan on having a family bed and certainly, Arun is going to be sleeping in his own damned bed for the most part. I did not get married to X so that we could live like mere roommates. If you know what I mean cough....cough..... Anyway, pulling Arun into bed with us for a few hours each night until he gets over his fussiness works like a charm. We suspect the fussiness is due to gas, judging by the all the Party Noise going on his relatively empty diaper. Furthermore, he sleeps in his bassinet or his crib (during the day at least) the majority of the time, so it’s not like that is a problem. Finally, X himself was a co-sleeper and he still managed to go Ivy League, so I seriously doubt we will ruin our son’s future by having him sleep with us for a few hours a night.
So, I weighed myself and I SHIT YOU NOT - I am at my pre-pregnancy weight. Good news, right? ! Bad news??? I am STILL overweight and have no baby to blame now. Again, I must emphasize that I was not PROUD of my 22 lb weight gain, but was RELIEVED. With my height, if I had gained anymore weight than the 22 lbs, I would not have been able to walk and would have been miserable. So there you have it ---- Relief vs. Pride ---- Big difference if you stop and think about it. However, I have noticed that I am getting very anxious to get back to the gym. Odd urges for me, because I had NO desire whatsoever to exercise during the pregnancy - in hindsight, I guess that exercising while pregnant made me nervous. When I work out, I like to push myself hard - for the adrenaline rush - you can't do that while toting around a bambino in your belly. So, now that there is nothing to worry about, I can't wait to get back on the elliptical machine and feel the burn. I must still wait 4 more weeks, though. Sigh
Anyway, I present for you some more pictures of the little guy. Soon, I must post a picture of him with X, so everyone can see where Arun got all of his looks. There was no chance we were going to make millions from a “switched at birth” scenario because it was pretty obvious which kid was OURS - or at a minimum, X's . There is nary a gene of mine that showed up in the little guy - except for his personal thermometer - he is just as sweaty and hot as his mama. Poor kid.
*NOTE: I said EASIER, not EASY - see the difference? Of course, there are hard times! I had always said that I was more scared of the first 6 weeks than that actual labor, so I am relieved that it has not been worse.
**And YES - the car seat was inspected by the highway patrol. That was not the problem. I was the problem!
Because this hair requires a daily wash/wetting down, Arun is already used to having warm water poured over his head AND receiving a good combing AND getting a good brush through as well (the brushing is ESSENTIAL - if I leave it just as a comb-through, you can see the comb tracks - much like a little old man's bad combover). He actually falls asleep during what has become his daily head massage.
My mantra for every evening as I carefully place him in the bassinet.
I have to say, I am SO grateful for my sister right now. She has held my hand through every new trauma these past weeks. I may even have to upgrade the minutes on my cell phone plan. I also realize I was the biggest hypocrite because I was not that supportive of her when she was breastfeeding and didn’t help her that much. She is having Baby #3 (Only Niece) in December and fortunately, I will have one last chance to help her - at a time when she will need it most since Older and Younger Nephew are a handful as it is. So, I have already apologized and as usual, she has forgiven me for being such an ass. Therefore, if I am indeed all that relaxed, she deserves much of the credit.
Thanks little sis. I lurve you, too!