Can this soul be saved?

Part 4 of a 4 part series where I examine the current status of my Eternal Soul. (Part 1 can be found here. Part 2 here and Part 3 here)

For sure, this Church Experiment has shown how quickly something can become a habit. I didn't go last week while in San Francisco, then Thanksgiving threw me off - Friday and Saturday left me thinking that I needed to go to church. I really need to start a Gym Experiment next!

I would be lying if I didn't admit that 1) Yes, it has been nice to go to church. I get a fuzzy feeling after I go and 2) Yes, I still find church rather boring. I still have one more month to figure out where church belongs in my life. Why bother, you might ask? Or rather, that would be ME doing the asking. Do I think Church has the bases covered on Moral and Ethics? Do I think I will find eternal salvation by going? No. Really, no. I've always questioned the validity of much that has been preached - it's the details that bother me. The Bible seems to be fully of pretty, pretty stories, but logically, it never made much sense to me. I've also always questioned the logic of "Jesus dying for my sins". I've never understood THAT and still don't. But still.....Jesus seems like he was a pretty good dude. Fairly friendly, pretty giving with all those miracles.

So, I wouldn't be surprised if I continue to go. And I only just realized that today. As usual, I put off going to church until 5:00 pm Mass and I didn't take Arun with me because it is a pain taking him. And honestly, I wasn't looking forward to going. But, shockingly,when I got there and sat down, I realized that I was glad to be there AND I wished I had brought Arun with me. It was weird to NOT be there with him. The majority of my religious and church experiences have been without my parents. I have spent a lifetime fumbling around on my own and I really don't want that for my kid. Sure, he may turn his back on it. And good grief, I hope he questions what he learns in Church. As a general rule, I never, EVER want my children to take ANYTHING on blind faith. I hope I raise them to always question and ponder.

I'll never forget when I heard someone speak of their conversion from Religion A to Religion B. This person was speaking of it and said "Religion A was not my belief, it was pushed on me by my parents. It was THEIR belief". This person has two children, who she is raising in Religion B, of course. It occurred to me that her own children could very well grow up someday and say those very things about HER. Of course, I don't think what she is doing is wrong, I just appreciated the irony of her actions compared to her statement. Because, of course, that's what EVERY parent does - show your children the way that makes most sense to you, right? And in the end, that's how it should be - give your child some sort of foundation and then hope for the best. That's really all you can do.

So, yeah. I might start going to Church regularly. It's not all bad.

In other news, the flossing is going GREAT. I've been flossing nearly every day and can't imagine NOT doing so now. Also, I missed that while in San Francisco.

What would Jesus do?

Part 3 of a 4 part series where I examine the current status of my Eternal Soul. (Part 1 can be found here. Part 2 can be found here and Part 4 here.)

Psst! I have a confession. The main reason I don't go to Church very often is that I think it is boring.

One conclusion I have come to so far in this Soul Searching is that I have been incredibly lucky. Overall, my experiences with various religions and churches have been positive ones - I've never had truly horrific experiences, just occasional irritating experiences with individuals, but hell's bells that can easily happen outside of church, too. However, unfortunately, my experiences with church haven't been particularly fascinating, exciting, interesting, or thrilling. I also found Bible studies to be boring. I never understood the picking apart of text that had been transliterated AND translated several times over. I'd rather read a children's bible, quite frankly. At least they have pictures. Sadly, I even find the music these days to be uninspiring despite the best efforts of many churches to try appealing to the masses (Masses? GET IT? I'm too funny. Ha.) by offering up "contemporary" music. I'd rather have a good old-fashioned organ with hymns, thankyouverymuch. One Easter service a few years back they even served up what amounted to a New Orleans style jazz band which really turned me off. Bah.

So, there you have it. I primarily don't go to Church simply because it is boring. What a revelation, eh?

What if God was one of us?

Part 2 of a 4 part series where I examine the current status of my Eternal Soul. (Part 1 can be found here.  Part 3 here and Part 4 here.)

Over the years, I've seen various people in my life turn to religion, then relinquish control over their own lives saying that "God will provide". Indeed, contrary to most new zealots claiming that "God made them stronger" what I saw made them weaker and in some cases, they lost the desire to fight because "God was in charge". It's these sorts of actions that have made me cringe and resist organized religion - meaning, I believe in God, just maybe not some of the details that organized religion tries to impart on the masses. I've always maintained that what God really wants is for us to just get off our lazy asses and help ourselves. I've never believed that God is Upstairs taking notes on who wants to pass which test. Never. I've always used my prayer time to thank Him for things or maybe ask for strength when facing difficult situations, but I don't ask for specific things like good grades, jobs, new cars or hell, even ANSWERS. I'm a huge believer in that little concept known as "free will".

While I am not 100% sold on going to back Church come 2007, I will admit that it has been nice to take time out on Sundays to just be thankful. However, I haven't asked him for anything specific because he already gave me the tools in which to obtain what I want. It's up to me to get off my lazy ass and get to work. Although, I'll admit that might be considered a miracle in and of itself because my ass these days? Is DRAGGING.

Are you there God? It's me, Cagey.

Part 1 of a 4 part series where I examine the current status of my Eternal Soul. (Part 2 can be found here, Part 3 here, and Part 4 here.)

Awhile back I decided to go to church every Sunday through New Year's Day, a Mass I've always loved because it's a nice way to start the year. It's more of a social experiment with myself, than anything else. I've been having a maj0r crisis of faith - not in God, but more in organized religion. I believe in God, I am just not sure about the nitty gritty details. By making a commitment to go to church for the next few months, I am hoping to see if it makes a difference. Maybe I will end up enjoying it? Maybe not? Maybe I won't see ANY differences. I also made a commitment to floss my teeth everyday. Not related, but in the same vein.

My relationship with God and religion has taken a path akin to a spider web. An OLD, abandoned spider web, the sort you find in the autumn where it's apparent the spider has crawled off to die. The paths tend to go a in a circle, tracing the same paths, ending up nowhere in some cases. Over the years, I have attended a variety of religious services for a myriad of reasons with friends and family - Methodist, Presbyterian, Jehovah's Witness, Lutheran, Catholic, Episcopal, Baptist, Southern Baptist, Assembly of God and so many evangelical, "free-for-all" churches than I can't even count. And then in my undergrad years, there was what I call my Islam Epoch.

I am now Catholic. I "signed up" in my late 20s before I had even met X. Then, when I met X, a nice born n' bred Catholic boy from India, everything fell into place. Decidedly, we are Catholic and I doubt we would ever join another type of church.

My own family is a mix - we have no particular religion. My father's dad was Jehovah's Witness (recent generations) and my father's mom was Baptist (recent generations). I am not sure what my mom's family was. So, for me, religion has always been a blank slate.

I learned about God from a babysitter at the age of 5. My mom is not religious and my dad was going through a major crisis himself with God after having gotten back from the Vietnam war. In 1st grade, I desperately wanted to go to church with my friends. My mom had to talk my dad into it, but she did. My friends would pick me up and take me with them - I don't remember the demonination of the church, oddly enough. In 2nd and 3rd grade, we lived in town and then I would walk to church by myself .

In 4th grade, my dad started to go through some major soul-searching and began attending the Episcopal church. He started taking my sister and I to church with him on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes, my mom would come with us, but she wasn't really enamoured of the whole thing. By 6th grade, my parents were divorcing and my dad continued going to church. We would attend with him on "his weekends". He continued going to the Episcopal church, but also started attending an evangelical church. A grass-roots church that began in Lawrence as a group of students getting together as a bible study. Like many born-again Christians, my dad became very zealous about religion. He has mellowed out now, but there was a period where he "lived and breathed" All Things Christ. I also went through a period in high school where I really "got into" church.

Then, I went to college. Where things got radical. In my freshman year, I started dating a Pakistani. A Pakistani who had had a pretty western upbringing, had not grown up in Pakistan and was not religious. I, however, became very interested in his religion and absorbed everything I could that was Islam for the next 4 years. I can see now, that from a cultural perspective, it was fun meeting people from all the world and as a bonus, I loved learning the classical Arabic for prayers. However, now it is hard for me to write about this period of my life. Most kids explore a bit when they go to college, just not like this. It's not something I regret and if anything, it kept me out of trouble. Most muslims are just honest, God-fearing people trying to take care of their families. Furthermore, considering the climate we live in today, I am grateful for my in-depth, hands-on knowledge that I have of muslims and of Islam. For sure, I have a unique perspective when attempting to sift through all the ignorant crap out there that the media tries to shove in our faces. However, for many reasons that I am not going to get into here, I chose to turn away from Islam in my mid 20s. And then, I went exploring again.

I had always felt comfortable in the Episcopal and Catholic churches. In my late 20s, after careful deliberation between the two and conversations with my dad, I decided to convert to Catholicism and went through the Adult Rites of Initiation. One thing I find most interesting is that when I became a Catholic, Olathe Grandma started passing along family heirlooms that were Catholic. It turns out, long, long ago, some of our family was originally Catholic, but was sorta kept a secret for reasons I can only fathom.

So, that's where I am today. I have more about this, but will use the rest of the Sundays in November to ponder.