January 29, 2009

At what point in man's evolution did he start wiping his butt?

The mind boggles, no?

I love it when folks ask me about the status of Arun's "potty-training". When I "confess" he shows no interest in the whole thing, there is an awkward silence before I quickly jump in and honestly state, "But I don't care. He'll do it when he is ready and that's it. I refuse to fight that battle."

A wise old guru once told me, "Grasshopper, you cannot make a kid eat, sleep or poop." True that, yo. I do not try to force Arun to eat certain foods, but rather, I just make sure that all of his options are healthy ones, he gets to choose from there. I do not try to force Arun to sleep at specific times, but rather, I try to set up conditions that will help him get to sleep at a decent time (unfortunately, we are still having serious "decent bedtime" issues as we navigate the whole To Nap? or Not To Nap? question we have going on.) And "potty-training"? I have provided an ample supply of underwear themed with Diego, Pixar and rockets - none of which has enticed Arun in the least. Eh. Whatever. When he is ready, he will be ready. And at this point, it appears his sister may be ready in a few months, so I must confess that in strict accordance with my Lazy, 2nd Rate Standard of Parenting that I am intent on honing into a fine art, I am fervently hoping that both kids simply go for it at the same time. Two birds with one stone, indeed. Besides, Arun's teacher said that winter-time "potty-training" is more difficult because there are so many more layers of clothes involved than with springtime.

Oh and in other news, I have raised the bar on my level of Lazy and I actually put plastic in the dishwasher this morning. Folks, I am living on the edge here.

Over and out, good buddy.


Anjali said...

Nothing persuades an older sibling to do something more than when their younger sibling starts doing it first!

jodifur said...

When people ask me why I am only having one child, my answer is, so I never have to potty train again. And I'm not kidding.

flybunny said...

Audrey's teacher had to tell me she was ready and then it was quick. Abby wanted to do what Audrey was doing so she was earlier and even quicker. Tyler is showing interest - she has to accompany all of us (including Daddy) to the bathroom where she watches intently (especially Daddy).

I think it is a good approach especially since it works!

I always put plastic in the dishwashwer - don't like to handwash ANYTHING except my good pots and pans.

Will call soon!

Cagey said...

I am hoping for the whole competition thing to rear it's lovely head and force Arun's hand. Literally.

Mamma Sarah said...

Competition is good and maybe you will be lucky enough for them to fight over the potty. Watch... now you'll never be able to leave the bathroom because all they want to do is potty. lol!

Plastic in the dishwasher... a must here. I don't have ANY time to wash much by hand. When I do have something to wash by hand it sits around for a little while.

girlfiend said...

I feel so guilty when I put plastic in the dishwasher. At least I set it for "air dry."

And potty training? I wish. The boy has no interest. None. I will not drive myself insane by forcing it but 3 year old poo is disgusting.

moderndayhermit said...

Alex wants to wear underwear and pull-ups but refuses to go tot he bathroom in the toilet. He says, "No Mommy, I'll pee RIGHT HERE" and makes the appropriate hand gestures.

I'm not going to fight him about it. I figure he'll pee and poo in the toilet before kindergarten and he'll be fine.

meno said...

Oh yeah, well MY kid was potty-trained by....

Man, i used to dread hearing that. I don't think the age of potty-training is any indication of future success in life.

Jen said...

Alert, alert: this is the one topic on which I proselytize on message boards...

I've got three boys. First one I started training when he showed "interest" about 2 3/4 and we both gave up after a few weeks. He was trained sometime after 3, after his baby brother came along and I'd gotten sick of big and little diapers. It was long, involved candy, accident-prone and wasn't all that pleasant.

So, then there was boy #2. At 2 1/2 I bought a ton of undies, cleaned all his clothes, and told him in my most bright and cheerful voice that he was now! big! enough! to use the potty!! And to wear the cool pants! And we started right then, after planning to stay home that day.

So an hour or so later was the first accident. Oops, I say, cheerfully, go sit on the potty while I bring you dry pants and then we'll clean up, I'm sure next time you'll get to the potty! (Happy, happy cheerful). The second accident...the same. By the time it would have been the third accident, he looked up and said, for the first time, go potty! I don't even remember if he made it or not, but when he did, the happyhappycheerful was ratcheted up at this grand accomplishment. He actually made it there on time a couple of times and would go hang out with a book to look at if he thought of it.

Then came the killer moment. I was getting ready to put a pull-up on for bedtime and he said, No! Underpants! Gulp. But, hey, after a little explaining that he could still wear the pants again the next day, he still wanted underpants, so I let him call my bluff. He went dry over night for one of the first times.

By the end of day 2 he was pretty much trained -- ready to go out in public, had maybe two accidents total.

This also worked just before 2.5 for boy 3 (right down to him calling my bluff at bedtime) and for my friend's boy #1 (the only other person I've actually convinced to try this!)

Here's the key, I think -- two year olds want to be big and do new stuff and make you excited and feel accomplished. Three year olds? They want to do what they want to do and NOT what you want to do, in a more personal sort of way! Besides, they're very busy with whatever they're doing and can't be bothered with you inconveniencing them about things like the potty.

Okay, thus endeth my speech on the easiest way to potty-train before it becomes an ISSUE and is just a fun cool new thing to do.

moderndayhermit said...

Yeah, I thought mine was going to be trained when he was two. I even have pics of him in his underwear and sitting on the toilet.


I figure all kids are just wired differently.

Goofy Girl said...

Gulp. So you're taking parenting AND dishwashing advice for ME?! Scary... (shiver)

I agree with a lot of other commenters - if Lil Sis starts showing an interest, Big Bro will get his butt on the P-O-T-T-Y.

My little guy acts like he won the lottery if he happens to dribble while he on the pot. He has a Big Brother to catch up with.

Me said...

Competition at daycare was the only thing that got the Little Man on the potty - at 3 1/2. I'm sure little sis will even cause more urgency for Arun.

I'm with you on the philosophy, though. No use fighting a battle that, if lost, just gets you wet and poopy pants/carseats/furniture/floors to wash.

Jerri Ann said...

That was far and away the best piece of advice I received when I got pregnant...you can't control when they eat, when they sleep or when they poop, so don't make yourself a nut trying to do it....

It really does help make life more bearable.