Has the world gone mad?

I did change all the privacy settings on my Flickr photos. It was a kneejerk reaction, but I think it was appropriate. I need to think about this one. X thinks there is not anything to worry about and he is fine with the photos being public. Particularly when I told him I normally do not have tags and am careful about photos that show too much of the front of our house and the like. At first, I was upset that my blog has blown up a bit because the photos are not showing here any longer. I tried to fiddle with the code, then realized "What difference does it make?" Meaning, I am willing to show photos on my blog which is also public. So now, the entire "Why am I even Blogging?" topic is rearing its ugly noggin. I do not feel my children are in danger, but I need to carefully examine whether I am being naive about it. After all, I know folks who will not even let their child's photo be published in their local newspaper. However, I still feel the greatest danger to a child is someone close to them - not some random stranger.

Would I be upset that someone took my child's photo and used it for other purposes? Hell yes. But I would also be upset if someone was leering at my child in a public setting - say in a park or at the pool.

Bah. Now I am starting to ramble and I do not know what the hell I am saying except that I need to think about this.

If an Atheist testifies in court, do they still swear on the Bible?

Gay Vegans Need Not Apply
I do not normally use this space to snark on other mothers. Or I try not to, at least. Sometimes, the temptation overtakes me and then, well I am wont to get snarky. Sue me. I think what bothered me most was the homophobic sentiment expressed by those mothers. I have been an advocate for gays ever since I met my first one at the tender age of 14 and realized "Whoa. Like, um.... they are human, too??" The guy was a step-uncle and I had heard furtive whispers about him on the part of my die-hard Catholic step-father (my mom did not care and does not care - she is very open-minded and taught me likewise). Anyway, to meet this step-uncle and see that he was a really cool guy went a long way in expanding my tiny little existence. Then, when I had a child myself that made me even more livid at homophobic tendencies. The thought that my own child could not live the life he wanted to if he turns out to be gay was enough to change my mind once and for all. Besides, if two humans love each other, whose business is it anyway? And vegans? Um, well - I do not really understand that lifestyle either because I prefer my food to have the potential to haunt me from their graves, but hey - why would I care if someone prefers their food to have no eternal soul? So, yeah - I did not hang out with those mothers after that. They were actually nice gals, but I realized very quickly that we did not have much in common and I moved onto another mommy group where I felt more comfortable.

Soooooo.......fast forward to today. We went to visit Arun's preschool again in preparation for our schedule next week. Wednesday's class is a different set of kids than Monday's class. And those two moms? Yep. You guessed it - their daughters are in Arun's Wednesday section. I think it is hilarious, more than anything. What were the odds? Olathe is not a small town.

Speaking of pre-school, Mamma Sarah asked me how I picked the day school. It is the Mother's Day Out program at my grandma's church and so it was a no-brainer to send him there. In fact, on Monday when we went, the church secretary kept an eye Anjali while I hung out with Arun. The very same secretary who babysat my dad when he was a kid.

Mamma Sarah.....if I were to give advice, I would say first and foremost you have to trust your Mommy Gut. I read your post about the place you visited and I think you know the answer about that one. While I had my misgivings about sending Arun to day school, I knew immediately when we visited the school part of the church that I had no doubts about the place itself. Also, ask all of your own friends, co-workers, acquaintances - I did ask around and we do have friends that had sent their son to same school as Arun's. If Arun were going to this school full-time, I would definitely have more questions such as discipline styles and curriculum. However, he is only going for 9 hours a week, so I still feel okay that I will have the greater influence over him for the time being.

My Friend Flickr
I am sure many of you have read about the Orkut/Flickr thing going on. I read about it last night at Babes in Blogland and was just sick to my stomach over it. I live in a little fantasy world over here, folks. As I am an Itty Bitty Blogger, I tend to think that since no one reads me, I am safe. However, my stuff is on Flickr like everyone else. Then, I read today about Zoot's solution for it:

If you have a flickr account will you leave your profile URL here so I can make sure you are marked as a “friend” on flickr? I’m kinda lazy about doing that and I need to be better about it. For those of you in my family who are reading this, I created a login for you all a long time ago. Email me if you need it so you can see the pictures of your grandkids/niece/nephew whenever you choose. Like I said, I’ll still post pictures here, but I’d love to let those of you who use flickr regularly see when I add new ones easily. And I’d like to be able to see your photos as well. If you don’t want to leave your flickr ID or URL here, email them to me. Thanks.

I will be going that route and will be changing my Flickr photos to be viewable by Friends/Family only. If you would like to be My Friend Flickr, please leave your Flickr ID/URL here or email it to me at cagey333ATgmailDOTcom. I will still post snaps here at Rancid Raves, they just will not be public on Flickr any longer. It will take a few days to get to this. I am also really upset about this - I was having SO much fun creating sets and such.

However, last night I was MORE upset at the thought of someone twisted saving a copy of my kid's snap for their own fake profile. So, the decision was not that difficult.

Why do you have to go all the way to the back of the pharmacy to get your medicine, yet they sell cigarettes at the front?

So, we went to Arun's nursery school yesterday - we are visiting at the normal times he will be going next week although we are only staying for 15 minutes. This is supposed to prepare him me for the Actual Leaving Him There. I believe I am supposed to bemoan the fact that my baby is growing up? That I am afraid of leaving him? That I will be sad? Sure, I will miss him, but since we have no plans for homeschooling, it was destined that I would have to send him to school eventually. Besides, from the way he screamed "No!" and started crying when I told him we had to leave, it was obvious we made the right decision to start nursery school this year. He will only be going for two mornings, so it is not that bad. Still. The thought that he may cry for me and I will not be there makes my heart crack a little. However, it does make me feel a little June Cleaverish to be packing him a lunch already. I have pearls, but am lacking a petticoat, unfortunately. Speaking of lunch packing, we did jump on the Bento Bandwagon - how could a Type A, former professional such as me resist an adorable "laptop" lunch box like this?

So, in other news, X is in Boston working on the Big Idea this week and it is a testament that my mental health has returned since I am doing just fine with both of the kids by myself. I do not think my legs will get shaved this week, but I have managed to get my showers in at least. Anyway, the Big Idea is going really, really well. I am hesitant to talk about it much for fear of jinxing it, but a really awesome beta is running now and the alpha is around the corner. To boot, they went with the name that Yours Truly created. I had lobbied hard for that name in the spring, but they went with another, then came back around to my name. When the alpha is up and running, I will be sure to post the URL here. Unfortunately, for now, it is only useful to those folks who live in DC, San Francisco, Chicago, New York and Boston, but it is still fun to play with.

A gentle reminder, Gentle Reader - I always feel compelled to point this out, but Throwing Things has some of the best TV commentary out there - meaning, the COMMENTERS, not just the pros are out there discussing a variety of shows such as Heroes, How I Met Your Mother and Chuck. There is a great, respectful, friendly core of commenters. I have never seen flame wars or nastiness for differing opinions there and I have been reading for nearly 5 years - way back when Adam was flying solo. Check them out and feel free to add to the conversation.

How does Freddy Krueger wipe his butt?

Inquiring minds want to know......

Anywho........now that I have swam through the murky post-partum waters and emerged somewhat intact, I am in possession of my sanity and am able to view my Reality in sharp focus again. And I like what I see. It never fails that when I post a rancidity rant, that things turn around which force me to feel quite sheepish for having groused in the first place. The past weekend was so very awesome that now I feel compelled to post the things I do enjoy about my precious progeny.

Enjoy the smarm bordering on the braggish.

Anjali
Now that her male pattern baldness is working itself out, she is finding peace in her life. She loves bright colors and is very interested in faces. And she is SO very smiley and snuggly - she has progressed from Cooing and Gurgling to Happy Squeals. She is very curious about her world and she is such a relaxed baby, it blows my mind that a baby could even be this easy. She does things such as falling to sleep while just lying there. Seriously - just lying there. No endless pacing around the house. No bouncing her in the bouncy chair until my calves go numb. No desperate rocking to and fro until my arms ache. No nursing until my nipples are raw. I mean, not that Arun required any of those things. ha! With him, I considered getting a pedometer so I could track all the miles I wandered in my very own house.

Anyway, we are all settling into a semi-routine and truthfully, the 2nd child gains the benefit of Mothering Experience. For example, I am really trying my best to let things go and just concentrate on holding her and playing with her as much as possible. This time will fly fast and she is my last baby. Overall, we are really enjoying her and are so tickled with her personality. My heart skips a beat everytime I hear X get in her face and singsong "what a sweet little thing" she is. He would scoff if I told him how yummy he is, but truly. He is just adorable with her.

Arun
Where I can see now that Arun was a difficult baby until he was about 6 months, he has made up for it as a toddler. We still have not had a full-blown tantrum yet - YET. I have seen that if I can keep my own patience in check, it goes a long way in helping him keep his own temper when things do not happen at the pace he wants. Overall, he is speeding along through life these days - it is all a grand adventure for him. When he is not subjecting Anju to his Lenny moves from Of Mice and Men, he is practicing his jump moves. Literally. He learned how to jump last week and I have laughed so hard lately my stomach hurts. He starts at one end of the room and with much concentration.... wait for it.....wait for it.....Jump!!. THEN, he erupts until maniacal laughter. It was a solid 20 minutes worth of him jumping, then laughing, which made me giggle harder. Rinse, repeat. We were at Costco yesterday and I happened to look over at him while I was paying and there he was....jumping.

Arun is fairly obsessed with trains these days. He still loves his animals, cars and books but they pale in comparison to trains..TRAINS...TRAINS. The only saving grace is that he does not care for Thomas and his equally creepy anthropomorphic friends. However, Arun is not into music much - he loves Jack's Big Music Show, but rarely shows an interest in dancing and could care less for singing. However if you count or do the alphabet with him? Or read a number or letter book? Or do a number or letter puzzle with him? That is the sort of thing that gets him going. His favorite letters are Y, P, and T, but he is showing a particular fondness for K, judging by the ecstatic manner in which he shouts "K!!". But the very best is his own name. Holy crap - that sends him over the moon. I have been marking all of his school items with his name and he is very excited that all this shit bears his moniker. Makes me want to take a Sharpie to all of his diapers. Maybe then he will get excited about those, too.

I think what is most amazing is what I do not know. I discovered last week that he knows his primary colors - I suppose he was paying attention to all those books, after all. All this time, I thought he did not know his colors and now I wonder - what else can he do? What else is rambling around in that hairy coconut of his?

Oh, Snap.............

Will Work For Haircut

Innocent

At least for the time being.

Girl Smiley

Risky Business

Entertainment Brought to You By Costco

We were unloading the car from our trip to Costco when Anjali started to get fussy. X began piling stuff around her - and it worked.

Let There Be Light

Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?

I apologize for the rant yesterday (or was it Wednesday? Oh wait. Wednesday WAS yesterday. Whatever.) I hate to be negative, but I also do not want to sugarcoat the situation. So, while I am at it, I might as well list out the other challenges for the 2 Under 2 Club.

Teething
The #1 problem with 2 Under 2 is that your oldest is not done teething yet. The week we brought Anjali home is the week that Arun decided to cut some canines. Nobody was sleeping that week, for sure. And now, judging from the way he chews on his finger and pulls a Paris Hilton by pointing to his mouth while saying "HOT!", it is safe to assume he is now working on his 2 year molars. The irony that my newborn has usually slept better than my toddler is not lost upon me. Except for the first 2 weeks and the occasional Greek meal, Anjali is a rockstar when it comes to sleep.

Sleep
As you can imagine, it is difficult enough to get one kid to sleep, try working on TWO. The problem is, if Anju is crying, this worries Arun. We get her to sleep first, then we work on Arun.

Sibling Love
Arun is obsessed with Anju beyond reason and to the point of restraining orders. There is NO rationalizing with him, either. The best method I have found with him is to tell him what he CAN do (think Conscious Discipline by Becky Baily - I love that woman.). When Anjali is on the floor, he can lay BESIDE her (as opposed to on top of her). When she is in the bouncy seat, he can pat her gently or hug her while his knees are on the ground (as opposed to laying his entire body on her). It is still difficult and is a fast track for me losing my temper because I am SO sick and tired of him loving her. Like I say, it is a good problem to have but it is still a problem.

Boredom
Oh My God. The boredom. Dead of summer and I was stuck at home with a newborn and a toddler. Folks, it was television and toys to the rescue. I am so unapologetic about this. Television does not have to be a bad thing - you can sit breastfeeding your newborn while you talk to your toddler about what is going on the TV. And toys? Sure, we bought some new toys, but I also spent the last few months of the pregnancy scouring clearance racks and garage sales. Arun's birthday is next month, but I made an executive decision that his birthday gifts would be best used in July. He will not even notice that he is not receiving gifts from us next month.

Okay, 2 Under 2 is not all bad. Here are some good things that I can try and pull out of my ass to make this post somewhat "fair and balanced".

Close in Age
I am very glad that my children will be close in age. My sister and I were 5 years apart and quite frankly, my grandma and mother did a really crappy job of ensuring that my emotional needs were met when my sister was born. To say that I was shoved in the background to chew scenery is to put it mildly. And worse, I remember it. I have specific childhood memories that are still hurtful to think about to this day. Am I being dramatic? Um, my dad is the witness and even tried to talk to my mom about it. So, my sister and I were scarred by this experience and as such, wanted very much for our children to be close in age. While Arun is obsessed with Anjali and that is stressful, it is also amazing and very cool how he did not even question her arrival. Before she was born, he had this thing where he would sit in his crib before going to sleep and do his litany of "Mama....Daddy.....Wah-Woo...." over and over before going to sleep. When we brought Anjali home, he automatically added "da bee-bee" to it. He will never remember not having a sister and I am glad.

Already in Baby Mode
I am already in the mode of rocking, changing diapers and the constant State of Need. Our baby equipment did not even have time to gather cobwebs. There is something to be said for not having to "start over" because in many respects, adding Anjali to our family was seamless and not so mind blowing.

Overall............I think regardless of the age difference between one's children, every mother's heart gets a little scrunchy when she watches her children coo and smile at each other. I know I do and it makes the achy arms, long nights and tired soul a little more bearable.

If you tell someone they are being judgmental, are you not being judgmental yourself?

When I was pregnant, I had an inkling that I was joining some sort of club. The folks that did not belong would cluck sympathetically as I toted Arun around on my hip while displaying a burgeoning belly. They would laugh as they informed me that I would surely "have my hands full". Conversely, the folks that had also procreated within a short timespan would just nod their heads knowingly. Consistently, the comment from that camp was "It is really difficult in the beginning, but it does get easier." And it is true. It is really, really hard right now, but it is definitely easier than say, a week ago and infinitely easier than even 3 weeks ago.

But still, I feel bad because I keep getting comments from a variety of pregnant friends/acquaintances to the effect that I can provide some sort of example or advice as to "how it should it be done". Oh SURE, when I was pregnant, I had all sorts of grandiose posts outlined in my hormonally depraved coconut where I would merrily dispense mental tidbits on how "Squee! You, too, can have it ALL with 2 Under 2! " While my precious progeny dozed peacefully in unison, of course.

Yeah. Right.

At least I have that innate ability to mock myself because now? Sadly, I can see that I am totally full of shit and that I have no advice whatsoever. Except perhaps "Reputable liquor stores give discounts for sales by the case?" or "Start your bicep curls as soon as the morning sickness wanes cuz you're gonna need 'em?"

Well, the bicep curls I am partly serious about because DUDE. It is physically exhausting to haul these kids around. Arun is still too small to let run wild in parking lots since I am very paranoid. The Fast and The Furious? Hello! That would be ME as I trot my fat ass in a desperate attempt to avoid getting flattened by the idiots zooming NASCAR style in parking lots these days. So, there I am lugging Arun in one arm and Anjali in that stupid Baby Bucket in the other arm. And the arms? Are burning with the pain of exertion. I Am So Not Joking.

Hmmm...Come to think of it, a nursing mother can have a glass of wine, so maybe the case discount is not out of order, after all.

I mean, it would be for the arms. Of course.

Why is it called a "TV set" when you only get one?

Updated: I just watched The Bionic Woman via Comcast On Demand. Oh WOW. Very impressed. This show has SO much potential if they can keep the writing tight and not get silly with all the loose threads they tossed around in the pilot. My original misgivings were based on the fact that I remember the original - I even had the doll. Now, if they will just let New Jamie wear a blue polyester pantsuit. Just once.....

Updated Again, Because Can You Say "Anal Retentive"?: Just watched Chuck via On Demand. Again, Sold. It was campy enough, but not overly so. Also, they did a good job with casting which is key for this show since the writing was not super sharp. However, it was a thoroughly enjoyable show to watch so I would recommend it.

While a wet spot on your sheets is a sign that something terribly good just happened, a wet spot on your ceiling is most assuredly, quite the opposite. Bah. I finally found a good plumber recently and it appears he shall be put to good use soon. In the meantime, X and I are sharing a bathroom which will surely stretch the seams of our marriage. Ahem. Also, our pilot light on our furnace went out this weekend. X and I managed to light it ourselves, but............. Whoa, DUDE. I hate anything involving an open flame near a gas source. Yes, I realize that is the very essence of a pilot light which is precisely why my palms were sweating more than a Republican in an airport bathroom stall as we lit the damned thing. I was not particularly keen on making my children filthy rich at such tender ages. However, considering our grill is also hooked to a gas source and we light that on a consistent basis, I figured two reasonably educated individuals could figure out the faded diagram on the side of the furnace. And apparently, we did.

Anyway, the weekend went fairly well overall and this makes the 2nd weekend in a row where I have felt like my Old Self. She may be cynical and slightly spiteful, but damn. I sure missed her.

So, it is that time of year again. The time where I carefully put together my Fall TV Schedule. I think the tradition began back in my days of public accounting and dueling VCRs. With my travel and work schedule, I had to be sure that my VCRs picked up everything possible to ensure my lame weekend social life was complete. For new shows that I have decided upon, I like to give a 3 Episode Minimum before axing them. This makes the first few weeks a little stressful as I try to cram all that viewing in, but hello! This is television which is muy, muy importante in this teeny, tiny existence of mine. I wish X understood the need to chain Arun to the coffee table while I watch my precious programs. He is such a spoilsport like that. Back in "the day", I used to do careful research and cross-checking to maximize the potential that I would not miss any hot shows, but I just do not have the time for that any longer. This year, I ripped out the handy-dandy guide from TV Guide's Fall Preview and went from there. Anyway, these are the new shows premiering that I will be giving a go-around before making a final decision - full descriptions available on Zoot's TV Addict Site:

Aliens in America - a Pakistani Muslim exchange student? I cannot resist. It is actually getting good buzz and is supposed to be about the trials and tribulations of high school - hence the "aliens" (not just the exchange student)

Chuck - This is supposed to be pretty good - campy, funny.

Samantha Who? - I do not care for the premise of an amnesiac restarting life. However, I am a huge Christina Applegate fan stemming from her days on Married with Children and Don't Tell the Mom the Babysitter's Dead right on through to the short-lived Jessie.

Reaper - This is the show I am most looking forward to and I cannot put my finger on why. It is pegged as an offbeat comedy of a guy who learns that his parents sold his soul to the devil when he was born. When he turns 21, he must work as Satan's personal bounty hunter. TV Guide's Matt Roush termed it "spectacularly enjoyable" for whatever that is worth.

Cane - This show will be one of the first canned if I find I do not have the time, which is quite probable because I actually enjoy hanging out with my kids.

Pushing Daisies - I HATE the premise of this show, which is some guy who touches people to bring them back to life. If he touches them again, they die for good. So of course, he brings back to life someone he loves which means he cannot ever touch her again. Blah. However, it is getting too much buzz for me to ignore.

Private Practice - I gave up on Grey's Anatomy after the first season, but could use medical drama in my life, I guess. Tim Daly is a draw for me as well. However, may be easily canned as well if time gets short.

Dirty Sexy Money - Peter Krause and Donald Sutherland? I must give this a chance for those two alone.

Gossip Girl - I am not sure why, but a high school drama that involves "backstabbing and Burberry" appealed to the high schooler who dwells deep in my heart.

Back to You - Kelsey Grammer playing a smarmy local news anchor earns this a 3 episode minimum. Added bennie of potentially sucking my husband into watching this with me.

Bionic Woman - Does not particularly appeal to me, but is getting too much positive buzz to ignore.

Why not put together a blogging anthology?

A long time ago, in a land far, far away, a blogger got a wild hair up her ass. She thought "Why not put together a blogging anthology? Hell's bells.......why not put together a mommy blogging anthology? "

And then, Gentle Reader, she did exactly that.

Ah, if only it were that easy. But still - she did it.

Of course, I am very excited for me, since I am also a contributor. To be included in such a stunning group of writers is an incredible honor for me. To be sure, friendship has its perks. But mostly, I am simply over the moon for my friend. Rita has worked tirelessly on this project in the face of adversity. She was met with many a blank stare and so very many naysayers who simply did not understand the blogging medium or why anyone would even care about what a mommy blogger could have to say.

To see a friend accomplish a dream after much hard, tenacious work is absolutely awe inspiring.

Rita, we may have written the pieces and submitted them, but you had the pure grit to compile them and then get it in the hands of publishers. You go, girl.

P.S. You might want to re-think the ironic title of your blog.

Where have all the blogrolls gone?

I have had this post in draft for several weeks now. Then, Zoot posts about Blogrolls and Link Pages which made me realize that I should dust this draft off and finish it...........

______________________
I have been noticing a sad trend as of late. Blogrolls are disappearing en masse. I realize it was inevitable with the mass exodus to feed readers, but it still makes me sad. Do not get me wrong - I love my Bloglines and Google Reader accounts - you will have to pry them out of my dead, stiff hands before I will give 'em up. However, despite my unabashed adoration for my feed readers, I will always remain utterly devoted to my blogroll. Because of my blogroll, I know for a fact that folks have become friends - say, Monkey and Modern Day Hermit. Even Monkey had discovered me via another blogroll. Through Average Jane's blogroll, I discovered Rozanne where I began commenting. Rozanne then found Diana (or vice versa?) on my blogroll and they have since become good friends. You get the picture.

So, do I actually care when someone deletes me from their blogroll/links page? Um, yeah. Fortunately, I am well-versed in the arena of Rejection so I am able to push aside my hurt feelings and move on. Do I feel bad when I am the one doing the deleting? Oh yeah. Unfortunately, life happens and my reading tastes change - it is never personal. Is my blogroll reflective of my feed reader accounts? Hardly. My blogroll is far, far shorter. I attempt to keep my blogroll to those bloggers that I feel I have a personal connection with or those sites I comment frequently. The keyword here is "attempt" - my blogroll is horrendously out of date.

Politics, popularity contests and hurt feelings aside, blogrolls in conjunction with comment sections are what give blogging spice and flavor. When I first began blogging, I depended on blogrolls to find other folks that I would be interested in reading. Blogrolls contribute to the positive viral nature of blogging in general. If we give up blogrolls, how will we find each other?

Don't you wish you were in my playgroup?

There are more photos at my Flickr account but in the meantime, here are the highlights.....

Meredith Viera can bite me.

Mad Housewife - truthfully, I prefer the title "Madhouse Wife".


Week 9

Not So Blue

Biohazardous Diverse Lifeform

The other day at the doctor's office, Arun had a total freakout when I tried to leave him in the waiting area with Olathe Grandma. The receptionist gave him some Goldfish crackers in that bag. Personally, I think it was fitting considering the amount of hydrogenated oils in those things. Seriously - have you looked at the ingredients for Goldfish crackers??

Yes, You Can Love Someone Too Much

Should not we regret our regrets?

On Saturday, we went to the Old Settler's parade here in Olathe. Arun, Anjali, and I met my dad at my Great Aunt P's house to walk over to the parade area. We then had our own parade down Memory Lane as my dad recounted his same stories over again. Outwardly, I rolled my eyes and said "Oh Dad, you tell this same story every year". Of course, I actually cherish those stories. My own great-grandfather used to go to this fair when he was a small boy himself, after all. Why wouldn't I want to hear the story about how the Old Settler's celebration used to involve actual settlers and "covered dishes" consumed in the town square?

Anyway, much like most fairs, the food theme was If It Ain't Fried, It Died and as such, we thoroughly gorged ourselves on some Grange Pups. As I pushed my sleepy set of 6th generation Olatheans in their stroller back to car at the end of the day, I could not help but hug myself a little. What a nice, beautiful day it was spent people-watching with my dad. I fervently hope that someday Arun and Anju have the opportunity to roll their own eyes at me.

Um, what's up with that whole segue thingamabob????

We visited my Great Aunt P today. She is 87 and has been sick for the past month. Although, to be fair, this doesn't mean the end is near - in my family the grand old age of 87 is not necessarily in the twilight of your life. Anyway, it became apparent during our visit that she has been feeling poorly enough that she had been reflecting on many of her life's choices. And wishing she had done some things differently. I can understand that sort of mental meandering since I had just been doing some myself last week. I pointed out to her that I was only 36 and had already racked up my fair share of Regrets. I did insist that she should not dwell on her own regrets, though. What I did not tell her is that if her end is indeed near, I did not want her to be in that particular state of mind. She agreed that she should not dwell and then she acutely observed "One must not have done much at all to not have any regrets. " I try not to have Regrets because I ended up exactly where I had always dreamed of landing anyway. I know that certain "mistakes" in my life fully and wholeheartedly prepared me for the life I have today.

We say that life is too short to have Regrets, but cannot life be too long to have Regrets? Furthermore, it made me wonder -- how many people have been so paralyzed by the fear of Regret that they failed to make a decision at all?

This is where I wish I was that writer. You know the sort. The type of folk who can pound out a paragraph that gets you in the gut. But truly, all that happened today is that my heart got all twisty and scrunchy at the thought that my Great Aunt P could die tomorrow and have all these regrets weighing on her.

That's all.

Where are they going?

Every year, a marching band comes down our street - they use our street to practice for the Johnson Co. Old Settlers parade. It is absolutely thrilling to stand in my own yard in a bathrobe with hair still wet as a gaggle of teenagers marches past playing a slightly off-key rendition of Eye of the Tiger. A song that I also played in my marching band days when it was a new release.

Band geeks unite!

_____________

The lovely thing about babies and toddlers is that they grow and thus need new wardrobes. Frequently. During this period I have come to refer to as My Malaise, I have found that some guilt free Retail Therapy in the guise of "winter wardrobe, 2007" goes a long way in offering relief. After all, it is for the children, right?

_____________

I am sure I am not the first to express this particular concern to the producers of Thomas the Train. But still. I wonder. George Carlin? Alec Baldwin? Really?

______________

After Anjali merrily fills a diaper, she enters a state of utter and complete joy. I am almost embarrassed for her. I mean, do I offer a cigarette?

_____________

I learned recently that it is no longer necessary to add two spaces between sentences. I first heard of this through Average Jane, but I thought she was joking. Jane, she is a funny gal sometimes. However, Erin posted about it quite seriously. What the fuck? My world will never be the same. When did this happen? Why? Who made this decision? And most importantly, where was I and why was I not consulted?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to their crotch when asking where the bathroom is?

For me, cleaning is therapeutic. Insert your own metaphor.

This past weekend, I did much cleaning and I feel better. Does cleaning and organizing make everything okay? Absolutely not, but I do feel more peaceful when I am not living in disarray and clutter.

One of the small problems with our lifestyle is that we do not really have holidays. I am a "stay at home" mom which means my life doesn't really recognize holidays. Toddlers and babies do not give a rat's ass that I'm supposed to have the day off. As such, they happily fill their diapers per usual and squawk for food/attention/more toys just like any other day. X has always owned/ran a business, so he does not get holidays either. Seriously. He worked during our honeymoon - the day before we got married, a situation at a client site blew up. We spent much of our honeymoon feverishly trying to get a cell phone connection in the Squam Lakes region of New Hampshire and even worse, the White Mountains. So, yeah....I always chuckle when people exclaim "I'd LOVE to own my business!" Yes, yes. It is really cool and exhilarating, but you actually do not have as much freedom as you would think. There is always a Man lurking somewhere.

To help my spirits, I created my own damned meme called "10 Things I am Looking Forward To". Feel free to steal this incredibly creative meme - let me know in the comments so I can cruise your spot.

10 Things I am Looking Forward to

1. Books
My heart be still. Sue Grafton's T is for Trespass comes December 4th. It always makes me sad when folks rave about Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series, yet haven't heard of Sue Grafton's Kinsey Millhone. I totally heart Kinsey - she is cool, wry, smart and actually solves mysteries. How can you not love someone who cuts her hair with nail scissors AND fights crime? I'm also really, really stoked about James Lileks' new book Gastroanomalies: Questionable Culinary Creations from the Golden Age of American Cookery to be released November 27th. Not only am I eager to read it myself, I already have one Christmas gift for my dad in the bag.

2. Halloween
Ah, Halloween. My very favorite holiday. No birds to cook. No familial obligations. No shopping. Just candy and costumes.

3. Fall
Rustling leaves. Cool breezes. Cloudy skies. Utter bliss.

4. The Zoo, the park, Deanna Rose Farmstead, Pendleton's Farm
I am SO ready to get out and do things. Just as soon as the temperature gets under 85.

5. Stitch n' Bitch Winter Kickoff
We are planning a 2007 Winter Knitting kickoff - to be held somewhere cool, like a local winery.

6. Anjali's 1st Barrette
I am very excited about having to style Anju's hair. I have to keep myself from washing it every day and fluffing it to its curliest fullest. I bought barrettes in excited anticipation, but have not had the need for them yet.

7. Mad Men
Every Thursday, I look forward to my newest favorite show - Mad Men on AMC. A show about advertising executives on Madison Avenue. It is set in the 1960s and they do an amazing job of recreating that era. The best part is the office setup. I swear to GOD, I worked in a similar office set up with similar furniture at the Federal Reserve just a mere 2 years ago. It is neat to see all that furniture gleaming and new, as opposed to beat up crap I actually sat at. And how many of us have fond memories of typing away at an IBM Selectric in our high school typing classes??

8. My New Winter Coat
I really wanted a new winter coat last year, but was not keen on buying one while pregnant. This year? All bets are off.

9. Television
I am ready for television again - some knitting while watching my favorite shows (How I Met Your Mother, Old Christine, Heroes, The Office, 30 Rock). I am even looking forward to Oprah.

10. Arun's "New" Bed
We are gearing up for getting Arun a regular bed. I think toddler beds are a waste of money and we will be going straight for the twin sized one. I mentioned to my dad this plan and he immediately offered up MY old bed - I did not realize he still had them! It was a bunk bed set they purchased when I was Arun's age - both of my sisters and brother have used those beds as well. I can not describe how excited I am that my own children will get to use that bed set.