September 18, 2007

If you tell someone they are being judgmental, are you
not being judgmental yourself?

When I was pregnant, I had an inkling that I was joining some sort of club. The folks that did not belong would cluck sympathetically as I toted Arun around on my hip while displaying a burgeoning belly. They would laugh as they informed me that I would surely "have my hands full". Conversely, the folks that had also procreated within a short timespan would just nod their heads knowingly. Consistently, the comment from that camp was "It is really difficult in the beginning, but it does get easier." And it is true. It is really, really hard right now, but it is definitely easier than say, a week ago and infinitely easier than even 3 weeks ago.

But still, I feel bad because I keep getting comments from a variety of pregnant friends/acquaintances to the effect that I can provide some sort of example or advice as to "how it should it be done". Oh SURE, when I was pregnant, I had all sorts of grandiose posts outlined in my hormonally depraved coconut where I would merrily dispense mental tidbits on how "Squee! You, too, can have it ALL with 2 Under 2! " While my precious progeny dozed peacefully in unison, of course.

Yeah. Right.

At least I have that innate ability to mock myself because now? Sadly, I can see that I am totally full of shit and that I have no advice whatsoever. Except perhaps "Reputable liquor stores give discounts for sales by the case?" or "Start your bicep curls as soon as the morning sickness wanes cuz you're gonna need 'em?"

Well, the bicep curls I am partly serious about because DUDE. It is physically exhausting to haul these kids around. Arun is still too small to let run wild in parking lots since I am very paranoid. The Fast and The Furious? Hello! That would be ME as I trot my fat ass in a desperate attempt to avoid getting flattened by the idiots zooming NASCAR style in parking lots these days. So, there I am lugging Arun in one arm and Anjali in that stupid Baby Bucket in the other arm. And the arms? Are burning with the pain of exertion. I Am So Not Joking.

Hmmm...Come to think of it, a nursing mother can have a glass of wine, so maybe the case discount is not out of order, after all.

I mean, it would be for the arms. Of course.

14 comments:

Marilyn (aka callistawolf) said...

You're not instilling me with boundless confidence here, woman. ;) I think I better start looking harder for that double stroller but hell NO am I lugging two kids through a parking lot using my arms. That's just crazy talk right there.

Mamma Sarah said...

I'm with Marilyn, double stroller! I refuse with the next one to be lugging around that baby carrier. I'm going to get myself a good sling and wear the next one everywhere.

olivia.enabulele.b said...

Question from a non-mother: Why do parents lug around their babies in car seats? They always look so heavy and uncomfortable. I have plans to use a sling or equivalant, but I'm wondering if I'm missing something about the car seat. Is it better?

Henny Penny said...

How about a sling and a leash and harness for Mr. Big Eyes.

Cagey said...

All,
Yes, yes, YES a good double stroller and babywearing are absolutely key to your sanity. But for quick trips to just pick something up? Say, a book on reserve for you at Borders? Or running into the Sprint store? Or when you get to Target and there are NO carts in the parking lot because they just took them back into the store? Best Buy does not even HAVE cart corrals in their parking lots. It is hard to justify getting out the double stroller for quick trips. Also, when Anjali is sleeping, I have to make decisions as to whether it is worth waking her up by getting her out and then taking the chance she will not go back to sleep. Horrors!

Anyway, the added benefit is that I have no issues wearing sleeveless shirts now!

Cagey said...

Olivia,
I HATE the Baby Bucket, but it is a necessity until they can sit up. For example, you need it while eating in restaurants. Also, see my comment about sleeping. I actually try to lug the Baby Bucket around as little as possible.

All,
I forgot Scenario #17843 where you may be required to carry both children:
Neither child will sit in stroller, meaning you carry one in the Baby Bjorn and the other on your hip - imagine fussy newborn, teething toddler. Squee!!! GREAT WORKOUT for your body. But not for your sanity.

Dee said...

I have nightmares of the exact situations you are describing. Fortunately, Zach will be a bit older by the time the baby arrives. I have six months to convince him that those things attached to his feet are meant for walking on and that his arms really don't have to be around my neck at all times.

Jenn said...

I hate all the comments that I get when people look at my big preggo belly and then say:

How old is your daughter?
When I reply almost two, their eyes bulge out of their head and they are like:
OH WOW, your gonna be BUSY!

I wanna be like, yea.....thanks!

p.s. your supposed to be saying that it's easy and I have nothing to worry about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

I hate those parking lot NASCAR drivers too. I nearly got flattened by one today, I can't imagine trying to navigate such a death course with two children.

No wonder you've developed bionic woman arms.

Mojavi said...

all I have to say is.... your biceps are def. sexy :)

Anne K. Reed said...

Loving this blog...
my newborn HATES her car seat. I am so thankful my other kiddo is five and able to walk. But still, in the crazy dangerous parking lots, it's me with the baby in the sling or bjorn while I struggle with the diaper bag, grasping for the five-year-old and searching desperately for a cart to put my case of wine in.

Jenny said...

I lugged around the baby in the carseat for one reason only: they were asleep. And if there's one hard and fast rule I lived by, it was never wake a sleeping baby. :)

I hated my double stroller, it was a tandem instead of a sideby side and damn that thing didn't turn worth a crap. I always wanted one of those really expensive strollers with the little stand-on thing at the back, so your older one can stand in between your arms, but I never got one. Mine wanted to run anyway so it didn't seem all that helpful.
Right about then is when I learned to go the grocery store at night, once hubs was home and all babies were sleeping. Alone. You can wander the aisles of Super Walmart all night long if you want, just to get a little alone time. It works great. SOmetimes alone time is better than wine... :)

Lisa said...

For the arms.... of course! :-)

Christy said...

I am completely sick of random strangers looking at me like I am INSANE and making rude comments. Yes it will suck in the beginning, and I know this. I am sure you knew it too. However, knowing that something will suck, and then actually experiencing it are two completely different things. I am glad things are getting a little easier.