February 18, 2010

Pissing off people Left and Right.

It is inevitable that I will irritate or anger people with my social media updates.   'Tis unavoidable since many of my Twitter followers swing to the left and a good portion of my Facebook friends tend to hang to the right. I am not a Democrat.  I am not a Republican.  I love foul language but cringe at grammatical errors and typos.  I am a co-sleeper who is anti-CIO, but thinks anti-vax advocates are irresponsible.  I believe in the civil rights of gays and lesbians.  I am anti-abortion, but pro-choice.  I am against socialized health care but believe in the legalization of marijuana. I am a blue smurf in a blood-red state.   I love Kansas with all my heart while rightfully,  I am ashamed of my state for its ignorance.  I am a former vanilla-flavored Christian, turned Muslim, turned Catholic, turned anti-dogma of any kind.  Someone who always believed in Evolution and the sheer logic of science first, regardless of which holy tome she happened to be perusing. I am someone who sends my kids to school located in a church because while I am anti-religion, I am not opposed to my children learning about it or being exposed to it.

Lately, I have to think "What do I want for my children??  What do I want them to learn from me??"

I want to teach my children to be who they want to be and to not be afraid to speak up for themselves.  Regardless of whom they may anger.  I want to teach them that passivity is not a virtue, but neither is meaningless war upon innocents.  I want to teach them to laugh at themselves first, and only then, can they laugh at others but that it is always preferable to laugh with others..  I want to teach them to never stop learning and reading and exploring. I want to teach them to never, ever just take someone's word for something and to actually research and read for themselves.  I want to teach them to always look at the other side of things, to at least take the time to learn about it.  I want to teach my children not to rely on the quaint mythologies of others as solemn text, but to regard those stories as something simply to consider, not necessarily something to live by.  And certainly not as a tool for denying people their civil and basic human rights.  And I want to teach my children to not cloak their hatred and discrimination in a thick shroud of "belief".  I want to teach them how to say sorry when they have hurt others.  To apologize, without excuse.  And I want them to be able to walk away when apologies owed to them are not forthcoming.  Walk way....walk away.....

And I hope I can muster up enough mothering skills to teach them all of this.

I still have much to learn myself.

18 comments:

~ifer said...

This is a brilliant, thought provoking post. I had to learn the ability to chose for myself as an adult, it was not given to me as a child. And although I chose the path of a Christian belief system that I now hold dear, it only is SO dear to me because I chose it. Oddly enough, my post yesterday was about just this idea... the fact that I could chose what to keep from my childhood, I could chose a path for myself.
As I said, brilliant post.

Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...

~ifer,
Actually, your own post was quite thought-provoking and I am interested in reading that book. I have had experience with that religion, actually. When I was in grade school, I attend a HUGE variety of churches with my friends because my parents did not attend church themselves. And therein lies the key - they did not attend church themselves, but always allowed me to explore spirituality without stifling it. I am seeing a lot of kids these days being told exactly how things are to be and I have to wonder how close-minded they are going to grow up to be. And this is not limited to just the religious folks, I am seeing non-religious folks doing this with their kids as well.

So no, I am not religious now, but I learned about God from a babysitter when I was 5 years old. I do not think I want that for my children, but I also have to be careful because I cannot lie to them, either.

And I have recently come to the conclusion that will have to include Santa and the Tooth Fairy.

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

One of the things I'm glad about is that you're the type of person to whome I can say, I disagree about socialized healthcare, but I very much appreciate where you're coming from on that point because you're basing it on a studied reason rather than just being against All Things Liberal. Additionally, I feel like I could say, "I understand why you feel that way but I support it because..." without you feeling like I insulted you!

Also, I sympathize with not being in one camp or another and seemingly always pissing people off. I am (and have always been) pretty harsh about the science/evolution issue (especially as it relates to public schools) and have been accused of not sugarcoating my feelings about it in the past. I would say religion in public schools is another one of my I-will-be-totally-bitchy-about-expressing-my-perspective. Mainly because I consider it embarrasing and I want more for this country and to that end, I don't think it's acceptable to hold people's hands and allow them to publically teach children that carbon dating is a myth-I come from a really religious home myself and I find it absurd that people want to put public education at risk to peddle snake oil and hoodoo. It's a crime to damage a child's education in the name of ignorance and dress it up as religious piety. What next? Religious maths?

Monkey McWearingChaps said...
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Brit said...

I think I will just hire you as my official spokesperson. You have summed me up perfectly! I love i!

I have decided that this is my new mantra.

You are brilliant. I think it comes down to hoping my children are stronger and braver than I am. Basically I hope they are their father. Someone who stands up to the BS and doesn't back down or walk away because they don't want to fight about it.

There are so many things worth fighting for....Truth...

jodifur said...

I love this post.

I wonder though, what would happen if your daughter wants to work full time after she has kids. Or even, your daughter in law? Would you judge them for making a different choice then you made?

Me said...

Very nice, thoughtful post. I hope you keep pissing people off - I love that you know where you stand on all of these things, and the WHY behind your opinion.

And, I happen to agree with you on everything, except Santa and the Tooth Fairy. Every kid needs a little magic in their lives that's real to them, if only for a short time.

Melanie said...

Great post!

I never have truly fit into one "camp" I tend to lean towards the right, just because of my views on economics, fiscal policy vs monetary policy etc.... yet I am very much a lefty when it comes to some other views (like the rights of gays and lesbians) .... i am continually disillusioned by BOTH parties. I want reform of many things (campaign reform high atop my list--don't get me started on lobbyists).... but I want it to be thoughtful, deliberate, slow, careful steps in the direction things need to go, not a hurry up and get this done so I can look like a hero, never mind what and WHO gets lost in the fine print.

What I want for my children is this: I want them to be HAPPY, confident, yet humble, charitable (both with their money and their time). I want them to know the value of the dollar (and not turn our like much of my generation who feels they are OWED nothing but the best, no matter how far in debt it takes them -and are quick to blame the government for allowing them the opportunity to make so many bad decisions). I want them to know that the"right" decision they make for themselves, does not make someone else's different decision "wrong" for them. I want them to have a relationship with God, but if they choose not to be Catholic like I am and seek him in other ways, then that is ok with me, because ultimately the relationship not the path should be the most important. I finally I want them to respect others, so often I think conflict can be avoided if we simply remember to respect one another.

I dont hope for much do I?

LuAnn said...

Thoughtful post--very appropriate and indicative of just who you are as a person I respect a great deal.

Bethany said...

This is one of the reasons I like coming here so much. You & I may not always agree but I know you will not rip into me for not agreeing. Here is a place for reasonable discussion of beliefs & I really like that.

I have also found I can't lie to my kids. About a week and a half ago this led to the Tooth Fairy's demise. After a few hours of trying every way to dodge the repeated questioning, Ebaby said "Just please tell me the truth, is the Tooth Fairy real?" So I told her no, she isn't. Maybe it seems silly to some but I just can't have her think I lied to her.

Sorry to ramble on.

PS. What is CIO?

Goofy Girl said...

Wow! Great post! My only comment is "Ditto".*

*with the exception of Santa and Tooth Fairy. I'm don't endorse either.

Goofy Girl said...
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CPA Mom said...

I want YOU to parent my children.

Rita Arens said...

This is my favorite post of your ever.

lorib said...

I second Rita -- my favorite post of yours ever. Even though I fall to the other side of many of these issues, including Santa and the Tooth Fairy =). And I truly believe one of the greatest things we can know about ourselves is that we still have a lot to learn.

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

So... You don't really have any agendas for your kids, is what you're saying?? ;)

I know. I want to expose them to EVERYthing and let them decide for themselves. I want them to follow their hearts and nothing else. And I want to learn how to practice what I preach...

Swistle said...

I love this.

CPA Mom said...

Congrats on your BlogHer Nomination for this post!