Over the past week, I have had separate discussions with Mojavi, Rita and Me about folks whining even though they made choices that got them in the very situations they are whining about. I think in Me's eyes, I came across as judgmental and truly - who the hell am I to judge? Maybe so, but it is still frustrating to hear folks complain about the same old stuff for years, only to see clear as day that their situation is of their own making based on very distinct choices they had made.
I try not to whine too much. Truly. While I am writing the 2 Under 2 posts, I am well aware that it is our own damned fault we joined the Club in the first place. Sure, one kid was planned but the other was the result of a Calculated Risk Seriously Miscalculated. However, both were clearly choices made on the part of X and I. We are adults - we know what can happen when one has unprotected sex. There are no accidents to report around here.
So, if I were to whine, what would it be about?
1. I would love to whine about gas prices, but we chose to buy a Ridiculous Car that ridiculously requires premium gasoline.
2. I would love to whine about my workaholic husband, but I chose to marry a guy who told me on our first date that he likes to work.
3. I would love to whine about how our health insurance premiums are more than our mortgage payments, but we chose for X to leave his company and start a new business.
4. I would love to whine about how scared I am with this new business venture of X's, but I chose to marry a guy who will always be an entrepreneur and would be miserable marching to a corporate drum that he did not create himself.
5. I would love to whine about how much I miss TV, reading books, knitting and partying with my friends, but I chose to have kids.
6. I would love to whine about how I cannot just throw my kids into their cribs and shut the door, but we chose to be anti-Cry It Out and we chose to co-sleep instead.
I am opening the floor. What would you like to whine about? Guilt-free, no judgments. :-)
The Best Damned Choices I Have Ever Made
8 comments:
I'm with Joe Walsh on this, "I can't complain but sometimes I still do."
I learned fairly early on that if I'm unhappy with something about in my life, I need to change it. That's not to say that I'm not so lazy that I let things drag on sometimes, but I'm fairly proactive about adjusting situations to my liking.
I don't regret any choices I've made and even though I'm not religious in any way, I tend to believe that things work themselves out.
I think I whine on my blog but I also think I've backed it up with actively trying to take the situation in hand, so I don't particularly care if I expend a few posts here and there complaining about it.
a) I definitely whine about wanting to get married: so I am actively dating...but I will still moan about how irritating some of the guys are. I mean, I'm sure they complain about me to their friends!
b) I am horribly horribly depressed by the fact that I feel really defined by my weight-but at the same time I was unhappy at my old weight so I took the initiative to get back down to my old size.
c) I am lonely and bored: so I've joined a few clubs (desi lawyers, random desi club, messageboard meetup group) and am working towards making friends.
So I guess I do tend to whine on my blog, but I also tend to take control of my life and try to make changes, so I don't particularly care if people wish I wouldn't bitch about it so much!! At least I am getting off my ass and trying. I have a harder time dealing with people who complain about stuff but don't try to make changes.
A couple of things I would like to occasionally complain about but don't are a) my parents, because everything they do for me outweighs the minor bad points b) my student loans, because they are not nearly as bad as other people's loans and I chose to go to grad school and am still thankful that I had the opportunity to do so and c) complaining about the cost-of-living in L.A. TOO much (beyond a shocked "can you guys believe this?") because for real, I just turend down a transfer so I should probably keep my trap closed on that one very tightly.
PS: she now looks like a brunette Pebbles!! Arun is as squashable as ever!!!
I whine on my blog all the freaking time. Its a way to vent and release tensions. After I write about something bugging me, I usually move on. It like therapy.
Christy,
I was not talking about whining over daily annoyances - of course you should use your blog to vent. You have some stressful stuff going on right now!
No, I was talking the Big Stuff. When folks whine for years about Big Stuff, yet do nothing to change their circumstance, that is probably what gets me.
I am VERY familiar with this brand of whining because I spent my 20s doing it myself. Thankfully, I got a clue.
Eh... no whining here, but I do on my blog about how unfair life is sometimes. The haves and have nots.
OMG-your kids are adorable and I love the pic of Arun in the leaves. Is he sweeping or raking them?
I am a big whiner, about many many things, but the one, consistent whine I seem to have is this:
I would really, really like a meaningful, interesting, part-time job that I can do mostly from home.
The End.
I didn't think you came across as judgemental, but as a person with very high standards. I think you could give others (and yourself) a bit of a break. I maintain, like Christy, that especially a person's blog is her own personal place for whatever is therapy - whether it be to whine, or politic, or speak out, or to just chronicle. If I couldn't whine about some of the results of my ununregretted choices (case in point, my MIL, oh my GOD) some days my head would explode. And, frankly, sometimes whining provides some of the funniest content around.
I admire your ability to buck up and take responsibility for yourself, but sometimes a little wallowing is a balm to my soul.
Post a Comment