Her Special Ingredient is Chemical X

This morning, I told Anjali that I would be writing a blog post for her 6th birthday.  She insisted that she be the one to choose all the pictures...........

She is going to start taking piano lessons this fall.  I have been waiting for this moment since the day she was born so that I may live vicariously through her ..... as is my destiny.  Because this is all about ME, right?

After her first dance recital, she declared she was ready for something new.  First swimming, and then piano.  I wasn't much of a Stage Mom, but I could be a Music Lessons Mom in a quarter note.  Totally.

The Butterfly Palace in Branson MO is a yearly tradition for us and each visit is a 3+ hour affair that ends with me begging to leave.  This was Manoj's first visit with us and I think he was shocked at the tenacity our kids have for butterfly wrangling. 

I cannot express how impressed I was with her bravery at her recital-- not only did she perform onstage on the huge, professional stage at the Lied Center at the University of Kansas, but she SMILED the entire time.  She is so shy and reserved in school settings, this was a shock to see her so comfortable on stage.

I love this snap because in her hand are pieces of salt water taffy.  We go to Branson every year and she begins talking about the candy store months before the trip.  It reminds me of the time when she was so, so small and she declared emphatically to Manoj, "Daddy, food is my FAVORITE."

Speaking of "favortie"..... Her favorite TV shows are the Wild Kratts and the Powerpuff Girls.  Her favorite Powerpuff Girl is Bubbles because "she is the creative one."  When she grows up, she wants to be "an artistic veterinarian".  However, according to her, "you have to go to school to be a veterinarian, but you can't go to school to be an artist.  You are either born with it... or you are not". (Captain Subtext guesses she thinks she was born with it.)   Her favorite books are Fancy Nancy and Curious George.  Her favorite restaurants are Wei-Wei Thai Place and Taco Bueno.  For breakfast, she likes to eat waffles or an organic veggie burrito with Cholula sauce.  She has a crazy sweet tooth which her father is more than happy to indulge.  Her favorite song is Taylor Swift's "I Knew You Were Trouble".  She is in complete charge of her hair, her wardrobe and her fingernail polish (and if it were her choice, she would be in charge of some makeup, too.  Argh.)  She mostly thinks boys are stinky, except for her brother who is either her best friend or her worst enemy, depending on the hour of the day. She spends hours upon hours in our dining room creating elaborate construction paper masterpieces (and complementary elaborate messes.....)

At night when we snuggle in bed, I tell her the story of how madly I had wanted a little girl ever since I was a little girl myself and how I had wanted a little girl just.... like.... her.  

And it is true.  She is exactly who I had always dreamed of.

Anjali Lilly

I am sneaking this picture in, despite her Lack of Approval.  I love this picture -- she is just a day old and it reminds me of how in awe I was of her.  Since she was my 2nd baby, I was completely at ease with her and co-sleeping and breastfeeding.... ALL of it.   I remember relishing the fact  that I had a baby boy AND a baby girl.  I felt like the luckiest mama in the world.

And I still do.

I believe.

Last week, I met my co-workers from Friday Playgroup Inc. in midtown Kansas City.  We went to the Union Station to see the massive holiday train exhibit, then trekked over to the Crown Center to gawk at Gene Simmons' tour bus, eat lunch at Fritz's and to meet Santa in the Crayola Land.

Mr Claus.... St. Nicholas..... Father Christmas.

Yes, that guy.

Right out of the gate, Anjali was adamant about not greeting the Great Red One.  She was not upset and did not cry because I did not push it.  I gave her the choice and she firmly said "No.", then ran off to play.  Arun wavered a bit because at the wise old age of 4, is well aware of how this particular scam works - if he does not actually tell Santa what he wants, then Santa will not show up on Christmas Eve. He bravely faced Santa, then sort of sat beside him.  I heard him quietly telling Santa what he would like - "a squishy T-Rex like the one Lucy chewed up and a microphone".   I thought he was finished, but then I heard him say, "and my sister wants a triceratops and a tea set."

Without prompting, he had remembered to plead his sister's case.

Recently, Shaken Mama had a lovely post about Santa being a "morality booster rocket." I think she makes a nice point about havng Santa as a part of one's childhood holiday tradition and uses a valid literary example - Pinocchio.

I was thinking about Santa. And I realized, "We're trying to trick Chebbles into being good."

And I decided that this is what you are obligated to do while a child is developing a conscience -- make good behavior a habit by creating fictional constructs which a child will shed when he or she is older, when the reason to behave in our society is clearer in their mature mind.

We do not push the Santa Thing too hard around here.  Arun knows that Santa will bring a few things and that is about it.    However, after reading Shaken Mama's post,  I did add some bits about "being good" to the Santa Thing.  I do not use it as a threat and there no Elf on Our Shelf.  Besides, I have never cared for vague statements about "being good".    I simply added some specific measures to the Barometer of Goodness.  I decided that having Arun know that Santa rewards kids who listen to their parents and share toys with their sisters is not necessarily a bad thing.

I will probably never have this parenting thing figured out.  Just when I think I am on the right path, these two little hooligans begin lobbing curveballs at me.  But last Friday, as I heard my boy politely and quietly ask Santa for some toys for his pesky little sister and for all the other times I see Arun ask for an extra goodie for his sister of whatever he is being handed, I knew that I must doing a few things right on occasion .... some of the time..... once in a very great while.......

And I just have to hope that is enough.

Can you put my butterfly on?

This post is dedicated to brothers and sisters everywhere. And to all the folks who hate posts like these where mommybloggers type entire conversations with their precious wee ones. I hate those posts, too.

Normally, I do not like subjecting the unsuspected masses to my precious progeny's version of Juvie Jargon, but hey. It's my blog, I suppose.

Technically, Anjali cannot say her "Ls", so she actually asked for her "butter-FWY" when she requested help with her fairy wings, but I could not bear to type Juvie Jargon for I have standards, bare minimum they may be.

Scene: Characters are playing in the living room.
Arun: Anju, can I have that puppy?
Anjali: No, Ah-woon
Arun: Why not?
Anjali: Cuz, it’s too wate, Ah-woon. TOO WATE. (Note: "Late" is the excuse we use for her all the time as to why we can't go to the pet store, the gym or the park. It's too damned LATE, Anjali. Go to bed!)

Scene: Characters are lolling about in bed.
Anjali: I wuv you, mama.
Me: I love you, too.
Anjali: I wuv you MORE.
Me: I love YOU more.
Anjali: I wuv you dan DINOSAURS (Translation: "I love you more than dinosaurs." You can also include puppies, cupcakes, cheese, tea, triceratops, pterodactyls and candy. My daughter’s love for me is sure and strong for which riff raff cannot compete. I may be a mean bitch, but I am lucky one.)

Scene: Characters are in the car. The mother is desperate for a nap. It's for the children, of course.
Arun: Anja-wee, you hafta go to SWEEP.
Anjali: Ah-woon, I don't wanna go to SWEEP. I wanna go HOME.
Arun: You hafta.
Anjali: NO.
Small female character ponders thoughtfully.
Anjali: Hode my hand, Ah-woon.
Arun: It's okay. It's okay. (Note: In the past few months or so, Anjali has begun turning to Arun as a source of comfort when she is hurt or scared. Adorable.)

Scene: Costco. Male Character is attempting to procure an ice cream AND a lemonade, which are mutually exclusive per the Maternal Character.
Arun: Why can't I have both?
Me: Because you are having cake tonight, so for lunch, you can only have lemonade OR ice cream. Otherwise, it would be too much sugar.
Arun: Mama, I have an idea. I will get lemonade NEXT time. That's a good choice.

Scene: A volcano rumbles in the distance and a toddler is about to lose her cool.
Anjali, sputtering: I MAD at you. You in BIG twouble. I'm gonna kick your ass. (Note: I am not proud of this one. We really say "kick your ass" in jest, but sadly, it does not come out that way. Obviously, we need to wash our own damned mouths out with soap.)

Scene: Maternal characters spies male character getting into a box that he KNOWS he is supposed to stay out of.
Me: Arun, what are you doing?
Arun: Oh, I am just NOT getting into this box. Don't wook at me. Don't wook at me!

Scene: On our way to the gym where exercise awaits me and a power muffin awaits my children.
Arun: If I eat a muffin, I will get bigger and bigger like a big boy.
Me: Yep.
Arun: If you eat a muffin, will you get smaller and smaller like a little girl?
Me: Sure! And then we will get rich off the proceeds from the lawsuit or the movie, whichever comes first.
-------------------------

At some point, these children have seemed to morph before my very eyes. They walk into stores with me. They have animated conversations with each other. They can destroy a room together within 5 minutes flat. They choose their own food much of the time. They whine when the other is sleeping because they are bored and need the other to complete whatever little game they are playing. If Arun gets a pair of swim goggles, then Anjali must have a pair. If Arun gets a cork gun, then Anjali must have one. If Anjali gets a parasol, then Arun must have one. Oh wait. Um, NO. But.....

Still, they are so small.

It is always presumed that if you have a Boy/Boy combo or a Girl/Girl combo that your children will be Instant Best Friends. Folks often act as if a Boy/Girl combo has no chance of hell for producing any sort of close relationship. By virtue of their differing genders, this combo is doomed. Or so folks would love to hint (and not as subtly as they might think.)

My kids currently like each other. I do not know if this will always be the case, but for now? I appreciate this little gift of watching them navigate their relationship. And they have always liked each other. Well, truthfully, Anjali did not have much of a choice.......

Arun was beyond excited when he first met Anjali. The second time he came to the hospital to see us, she was not in my room which he immediately noticed and worriedly asked for her "da Bee-bee? da Bee-bee?" When we brought her home, he was constantly in her face. As a newborn, it made her cry. Now that Anjali can hold her own, he gets the Talk to the Hand action. When Anjali first began rolling over onto her stomach, Arun would rush to lay on his stomach beside her. And now, throughout our days, I hear Arun saying "Anju, come ON" and her answering, "Just a MINUTE, Ah-woon." He is insistent that her participation is required in whatever activity it is that he has concocted for them - willing or not.. When we pick him up at school, he happily greets her and eagerly shows her his little project for that day. And when we talk about our plans for the day, he usually asks, "Can Anju come, too?" As if we would leave her home.

His excitement never really went away.

Is the slug sad, Mama?

Dear Arun,
Yes, that slug is most likely really sad that you have been holding it all day in your very salty, sodium-laden guillotine paws. You heartless slayer of slugs.

Love you!
Mama

-----------
Dear Seldon Edwards,
With the weird, contrived plot twists in your wee tale of time-travel, The Little Book, you are leading me to believe that the main character will turn out to be his own damned grandpa. Literally.

Capital!
Kelli

-----------
Dear Anjali,
Um, it appears you are talking now. Today, you said "Don't, please." when Arun was tickling you. Then, later you dropped a crayon and said "I drop it." and when you picked it up, you proudly exclaimed "I find it!". And yes, I got teary-eyed because I am a sentimental fool. Quit with the growing up, dammit.

Sniff,
Mama

-----------
Dear Fellow Bloggers,
I swear I am not doing the NaBloPoMo this year. Pinkie swear. I am not entirely sure why I keep posting everyday.

WTF?
Cagey

------------
Dear Sofia,
Can you just molt already? You are looking a bit haggard.

Your faithful invertebrate enthusiast,
Kelli

Where did October go?

It is a valid question, to be sure.

So, in our garage, is some chocolate hidden in a basket under some tools. X will never be the wiser. I totally ROCK, when it comes to chocolate thievery.

Yesterday, we went trick or treating at X's client. The Double A's quickly caught onto the scam and were quite willing to take candy from strangers. Of course, Anjali did the typical toddler move of placing treats back into buckets in exchange for new, shinier goodies. Also, for someone who only just sprouted molars she showed some major nerve by consistently grabbing for Milk Duds.

By evening, Anjali was pretty pooped, so we only took her to the immediate neighbors. Then, Arun and I headed out by ourselves. He had a blast and was not shy about the whole thing. My two favorites moments from the evening were:

While still at home, I had left the door open as I was rummaging for some tools to fix the decorations outside. I heard someone outside and by the time I got to the front door, Arun was already there placing treats in everyone's bags. He even had to rummage for the treats in the dining room to be able to pass them out. It was funny to see him - he looked so grownup, yet was half the size of the kids at our door.

Later, while trick or treating, he had just left a house to meet me at the sidewalk. I asked him if he had remembered to say thank you. Before I could stop him, he ran back to the house, knocked on the door, waiting patiently for the person to answer, shouted and enthusiastic "Thank you!!", then ran back to me.

My Not So Favorite moment was when I returned to our house by 8pm to discover that my husband had handed out 90 lollipops and over 70 mini-tubs of Playdoh, yet accused me of not having bought enough treats. He had totally ignored my One Treat Per Kid edict. Argh.

Neil Arunstrong and the Wicked Witch of East Olathe

What do folks in China call their good plates?

Arun is v. v. particular about the temperature of his food. If the food is the tiniest bit hot, nay, warm, then he will refuse to eat it. Serious negotiations then must be commenced in an effort to get him to at least give the food a second chance. I find it slightly ironic that I heat a frozen pizza in the oven, then proceed to stick it back into the freezer to cool it off.

So, last week Arun turned 3. I did not write about it and honestly? Did not feel particularly compelled to scribble some maudlin drivel about it- we were busy with some family things last week and on his actual birthday, went to the zoo. It was a beautiful day and we had a blast. Therefore, writing a blog post fell very low on the To Do list last. I know, I know..... the nerve, of actually doing things rather than writing about them. I will say this - the age of 3 has some unique challenges. Sigh. But. The imagination, the games he makes up, the willingness to help me, the bizarre logic, the "I have a great idea" declarations? Make it all worth it. He is so much fun these days and it makes up for the difficult days when he seems to be under the mistaken impression that he knows more than I do.

In other news, Anjali got another haircut last week. Her hair is such a rat's nest, that for the time being, we are going to continue with regular haircuts until all of her "adult" hair comes in. At best, I am hoping for "mop-headed" in the meantime. Yes, if all her curls end up getting cut off and her hair ends up straight, I will be a little sad. However, having her walk around looking all raggedly would be worse. And here, we truly have a cultural difference between white folk and brown folk. Indians? Not only cut baby hair, they shave it. However, the hair gets all evened out and this why Indian babies/toddlers have such gorgeous hair.

Hmmm, I had wanted write more - there have been some interesting things on Oprah about teaching kids about money -- how to responsible for it and how to appreciate it. I have thoughts on this and want to hear yours as well. I feel a quandary that I suspect many folks are in as well. X and I are extremely appreciate of all that we have. ALL OF IT. We both grew up in very modest households, so we do not take anything we have for granted. How do we ensure our children appreciate what they have? Anyway, I cannot go in more detail right now because as it turns out, life is interfering. I have two kids motioning towards the door and crying "Go! Go!".

Simian Snappage

These Shoes Were Made for Splashing In.

Raggedy Anjali

Mr. Mischief? Indeed.

Why does McDonald's not sell hotdogs?

I have always wondered. Why? Would it truly be that difficult to steam up some buns and dogs? I think not.

So, I suspect overall this little slice in my life will be remembered as one of the best periods in my life ever. It is all pretty good right now. Maybe it is the meds? The gin and tonic recipe that I have perfected? Or just the fact that I am one incredibly blessed beyotch who has it really, really good? Nah. Surely, it could not be that.

However, it could be this:

• The weather has been fabulous lately - I was too sick to enjoy it last week, but this week, I am making up for that. We went to the Deanna Rose Farm yesterday, today we are doing a park. I am thinking we will do the zoo tomorrow. Since this is Kansas, we probably have at least one more heat wave before fall hits, so I want to enjoy this nice weather while it is still here.
• I cannot express enough how much I am enjoying these kids right now. Yesterday, I was downstairs doing something and noticed Anjali taking off up the stairs to follow Arun. Later, when I went upstairs, they were both at the train table, pushing trains around and "choo-choo-chooing" to their little hearts' content. And yes, you read that correctly - we let Anjali go up the stairs (but not down, she does not know how to do that yet.). I am a firm believer in teaching our kids how to do something, instead of preventing them from doing something. And I do not think everyone needs to feel this way, but I hope folks respect my wishes for my own children and lay off on the trollish comments.
• Someone asked how many words Anjali has right now. She only has about 13 and then a variety of animal noises. She attempts to repeat just about everything we try to get her to say, but I do not count those as words until she actually uses them - I think my favorite Pete Repeat Word is "Polly Pocket" - she says something along the lines of "papa-cut".
• I am reading two great books right now - Eclipse, #3 of the Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer (downstairs book) and Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood (upstairs book). And yes, I do have an Upstairs Book and a Downstairs Book because I am far too lazy to be toting books all over the house. So, I just read whatever book happens to be on whatever floor I happen to be on. The Twilight series is a total Gimme read - easy and entertaining (even sans Hot Vampire Sex.) Alias Grace has been a little more difficult - I did not hit The Hook until about page 100, but Atwood is one of my favorite authors, so I stick with her no matter what because a life goal of mine is to read every single thing she has ever written. And Atwood rarely disappoints as a reward for perseverance. (John Irving is another author who I intend to read everything he has written.)
  
• I finished an adorable pumpkin hat and am now working on another twisted rib hat. I love, love this pattern and I love, love Berocco Comfort yarn.
  
• Mad Men is very awesome this season. That show is a such visual feast for the eyes. And, furthermore, I have worked in so many state and quasi-governmental agencies that our furniture was always outdated, even for the 90s and beyond. Therefore, our furniture was all 60s era, but was rather beat-up and tired. To see all that same furniture and office setups so very brand new and shiny, is such a treat for me. I cannot help but snicker and giggle as I point out to X which pieces I had that were similar. Speaking of Mad Men, I need to point out that some of the best commentary is happening over at Alan Sepinwall's coverage of Mad Men, Season 2 - be sure to read the comments as well - he has a thoughtful core of folks going there to put their 2 pennies in on every episode.
• Anjali just walked across the living room. Sigh. Life does not get much better than that - watching a child accomplish an important goal (to them) and witnessing their unadulterated glee as they do so.
  

It seems that just yesterday I was a mother to a baby and a toddler. Now? I have a toddler and a preschooler.

Hold me, Internet. HOLD ME.

Can I brush my teeth?

A Giveway!
First and very foremost - I am giving away a copy of Sleep is for the Weak. I bought it at the book signing at BlogHer, but unfortunately, due to a variety of distractions, was only able to get autographs from Amalah, Motherhood Uncensored, Not Calm (dot com). Oh sure, I suppose I could sign it, too. However, I fear that may devalue the poor thing. Anyway - this giveaway is open to residents of the US and the rules are simple:
Comment on this post by Thursday, August 21st, Midnight (CDT) and I will draw someone at random.

I have not been doing much mommyblogging lately, I realize. I think I was just worn out from so much of the negativity that has been directed towards those of us who dare to pimp our children's eternal souls, not to mention privacy, in lieu of having nothing better to talk about. So here you go - a post about my kids.

I Am MommyBlogger, Hear Me Brag
Okay.... So the question for today?? I hear this about 4-5 times a day. No kidding, joking, or joshing. Arun has always loved to brush his teeth. At first, I wrote it off to teething. Then, I wrote it off to that he liked the toothpaste. Now? I have to accept that my child is simply odd. He does not even want the Sparkly Fun toothpaste any longer. Hell, no. He wants the Minty Fresh tartar control stuff. One must have dental standards. Is my kid the only kid in the universe who likes to brush his teeth? Come on - 'fess up. You only hear about the kids who hate brushing their teeth.

Now. New Topic. What I am about to write, I have not really written about this before. I was fearful of coming across as an unrealistic braggart. Even more so, I was afraid of jinxing myself. So, here goes......Arun is an easy kid. Really, really easy. *gulp* You know those public tantrums that you always hear about where kids flail and kick and create general mayhem and the parents are mortified? We rarely get those. No, make that "never get those". Once in awhile, if he wakes up from a nap too early, he will cry uncontrollably and stomp his feet a bit. But rarely do we ever get full on, Category 5 tantrums. Yes, I do get embarrassing episodes at Target from his screaming, but those are happy screams. Which is almost worse. What the hell do you do about Happy Screams to make them stop? Make the kid UNhappy? And no, he is not perfect, he does push my buttons All the Damned Time. But overall? He is easily mollified when he does not get his way.

Why do I mention this now? Well, the only reason I am comfortable admitting that my kid has been easy thus far is because in the past month or so, he has increasingly become UNeasier. I am beginning to experience Defiance and Attitude from him. Which is quite shocking to us. Who is this kid and who the hell does he think is with all these Instructions, Directions and Demands? So yes. The Twos were not so Terrible for us, but I am bracing for the Threes, which seem to barreling at us like a freight train.

And to add to all this, Anjali is already shaping up to be a stronger personality than Arun ever was. So, she will be hitting the 18 month mark (when the Terrible Twos actually begin) just as Arun is in the throes of the exerting his plan for world domination. Sadly, his current regime is monocratic and does not appear to need a running partner, so I expect lots of fun times to be had as Anjali attempts to get in the mix. The most difficult part about Arun right now is that his language skills have exploded lately, which is really cool except that these new skills also include some twisted, bizarre logic that only a pre-schooler could dream up. Arun is getting really good with pitching out "reasons" for a variety of situations that range from "reasons" for why he cannot help me pick up toys to "reasons" why he needs a milkshake today. Fortunately, most of this activity from him is still firmly camped in Too Cute for Words territory, so X and I are having quite a few laughs over Arun's antics. I do not look forward to when these antics turn more serious.

The main side benefit in this recent turn in Arun's personality is that his imagination is going gangbusters. Giving him some construction paper and scissors is just as much fun for me, as it is for him. Playing pretend makes me giggle just as much as he does. My favorite is when he lists a whole string of activities that we are going to do today "We going to eat breakfast, go to the beach, go to the zoo, go see trains. Yay! That's what we going to do today! Yay!" Within reason, I sometimes go along with his plans, if we can. One day, he wanted to go to the moon and obviously, that one did not really work for me. And while he always retains a firm affection for all things Spider and Trains, he has recently been particularly obsessed with rockets, robots and monsters and the PBS show WordWorld.

He has been off from school for the month of August. While I know he is excited to go back to school (he keeps talking about his friends and how he is changing classrooms and how excited he is to have Miss J as his new teacher), it has been nice having him every day. However, pre-school has been so wonderful for him - it is just 2 days a week, but he loves it . He has definitely been getting more antsy this past week, so I know he will be ready when September rolls around.

And Anjali? She is an utter delight these days. Walking and talking, she is all over the house, commenting on everything as she toddles by. The talking is the part that amazes us. Of course, it is perfectly normal for a 13 month old to have so many words already, but Arun was such a late talker, this is new stuff for us. I am grateful that she is taking to The Talking so readily - she is already showing such a strong personality and gets so easily frustrated when she wants something that I am hoping her being able to communicate will help her.

Music is still her Thing and that stupid ABC song is shaping out to be her favorite song. Argh. I guess it is worth watching her try to sing it, but still, that song is not very fun to sing........ I will be taking her to our library's rhyme time next month. It seems just last year I was taking Arun to that. Oh wait - I was taking Arun to that last year. Anyway, I really love this particular library's rhyme time - the songs are better and the group is smaller than another rhyme time I had gone to.

I was telling my doctor yesterday that I wish I could bottle up this time right now to save for later (well, except for this damned chest cold I am fighting.) We are in a nice little lull with both kids - they are both still relatively easy-going and are so much damned fun. The past few weeks have been so sweet - I just feel that I cannot soak up enough of them. I love doing things with them, lounging on the floor reading books, playing with toys, rolling around on the bed under the blanket playing hide n' seek. The time with them seems so fleeting and I am afraid of missing something or not appreciating it enough.

Speaking of which, I need to turn off the television and get these little creeps to the Deanna Rose farm.