April 13, 2011


Pink Floyd, Obscured by the Clouds 1972

Today's post title is significant.  Life is quite lovely right now - I am young and in my 30s,  the weather is gorgeous, I have loads of energy, I have been furiously spring cleaning, the kids are impossibly adorable these days, I have piles of galleons in my fat bank account.

All of that will change.  I turn 40 next week (old!), rain is expected tomorrow (of course!), I will get sick again (someday), my house will get messy (again), the kids will grow up (and leave me, the nerve!) and this Friday, I will send two ridiculously large checks to the IRS and the state of Kansas.

Life never stays.

Still, these damned kids.  Impossibly adorable.  Although, they will surely break my heart, I will enjoy things as they are now.

When I was sick I spent some quality time with my bed.  At one point, Arun came upstairs to see how I was doing.

Arun: Mama, are you okay?
Me: I think I am going to puke, Arun.
Arun: Do you need a towel?
Me: No, I'm okay. 
Arun: You can puke on me, if you want.
Me:  Uh, that's okay. Adults throw up in the toilet.

I am not sure whether to be touched or horrified that my kid thinks it is a sign of caring to allow someone throw up on him.  Probably, it has something to do with the fact that my husband thinks nothing of holding his own kids and letting them puke at will.  


Last week, Arun and I had the following conversation.
Arun: Do goats stink to protect themselves?
Me:  You mean like skunks?
Arun: Yeah.
Me: No, goats stink for no reason.  It certainly doesn't seem to save them from Muslim holidays.


The other day, Anjali SWORE she had to poop.  After awhile of sitting on her royal throne, she hopped off and solemnly declared "Mama, I didn't POOP.  My body was just TRICKING ME. Totally."

Ah, baby girl.  I understand.  Bodies are tricky like that.


In other news, Anjali has a Pretend Mama.  Pretend Mama is the BOMB, y'all.  She lets Anjali wear ANYTHING she wants, even Arun's Spiderman Snow boots in 90 degree weather.  Pretend Mama never makes her comb her hair , Pretend Mama never says "Just a second" and instead, hops immediately to attention at Anjali's every whim.  Furthermore, Pretend Mama lets her drink all the damned apple juice a little stomach could hold.  Anjali loves her Pretend Mama more than her Real Mama.


Complicating all of this is that Anjali has an accomplice - Water the Pink Elephant.  I like to refer to Water as "the mouthpiece to Anjali's Communist regime" because seriously?  Water is a little asshole.  Water tells Anjali what to wear in the morning (truly, Water could be the stylist for Lady Gaga).  Water tells her that the downstairs bathroom is SCARY and that all bodily functions must happen upstairs.  Water tells her she does not have to go to school.  Water insists that it's okay to run around in parking lots.

In short, Water is my worst enemy and must be defeated.  One of these days, Water is going to get strung up by his furry pink trunk and relieved of his cotton innards.


Then, Water insisted the photo shoot was over.

Of course.


Average Jane said...

That post was completely awesome-filled.

Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...

Average Jane, since you know them so well, I can imagine you can hear them saying these silly things to me. I wish I was better at writing down everything they say. I've considered just starting a separate blog for that alone.

Moderndayhermit said...

hahahahaha, love it.

Alex has "Ghost Alex" who causes him to slip and fall, spill things, etc. He also has his "three mommies" who are always willing and able to do whatever it is he wants and I've denied.

Great post.

MLE said...

Anjali is a little young for Coraline (the book or the movie) but if her "other mother" phase lasts a few more years, it may end when she sees or reads that!

Dee said...

I just want to say that I love your kids and I love that you write these things down. I wish I had the time/memory to write out the things my kids say.

meno said...

It's only a survival thing on their part that they are so cute. Ignore it, it's manipulative. Little monsters!

D. said...

We, too, will be forking over an unholy amount of cash to the government next week, so I can certainly understand that particular downer.

As for the kids, oh my word, are they cute. Love the little snippets! C would love to hear about Pretend Mama and maybe even adopting one of her own, but you better believe she won't be hearing about Pretend Mama from me.

LuAnn said...

Luaghed so very much out loud in the Writing Center where I am before school, where I stole a chance to read this in between posting my grades and helping a kid out here and there. Thank you! Love these.